


The Unexpected Connection

by PoeticAnt44



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Abandoned Prison, Abandoned Shack, Action, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Alcohol, Angst, Attempted Rape, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Birth, Blood and Violence, Camping, Children, Death, Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls), Dragons, Dragonsreach, Drinking, Dwemer Ruins, Eventual Smut, F/M, F/M sex, Falling In Love, Fantasy, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Violence, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Helgen, High Elves, Hunting, Imperials, Inspired by Skyrim, Ivarstead, Kissing, Live Another Life, Loss of Virginity, Love, Magic, Marriage, Masturbation, Merethic Era, Minor Violence, Miscarriage, Modded Skyrim, Oral Sex, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Prison, Reluctant Dovahkiin | Dragonborn, Revenge, Riverwood, Sex, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Sexual Violence, Skinny Dipping, Skyforge - Freeform, Skyrim References, Skyrim Romance Mod, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Spanking, Spells & Enchantments, Stormcloaks, Swimming, Swordfighting, Thalmor, Threats of Violence, Traveling on Horseback, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vilemyr Inn, Virginity, Wedding, Whiterun, Witches, bow and arrow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:35:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 51
Words: 91,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticAnt44/pseuds/PoeticAnt44
Summary: This is the story of Runa Storm-Bringer and Kaidan and their adventures together.  Runa, growing up from a noble family only to have her whole family killed and finds herself in a prison with only one other person.  Kaidan, on a journey of self-discovery into who he is, where he came from, and to find any family he may have, and his only clue is his sword.  But Runa finds out that he has a very dark and troubled past.*** (8/26/2020) This story is nearly a year old and my first one.  I am going to be in the process of editing it now that I'm learning to write better.  The story will remain true, just with improvements





	1. Waking Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a fan-fic. I'm not the most exceptional writer, but I tried my best to tell a story. It's a relatively slow-moving story and I didn't want to rush into it. My story is based off of Skyrim, and while under the assumption you have played the game, you will recognize some people and places, but most of the story is something that I have had in my head between Runa and Kaidan. The Kaidan mod is so well done because it offers a really good romance RPG element to the game. NOTE: Those that use and love the Kaidan mod, I do not use all his lines word for word. I take what he says through the game and either add to it or change things around. I will try to stick with the lore of the game, but the story starts out using the "Live Another Life" mod and what happens in Helgen I changed up a bit to fit in with my story. It's not exactly like the game and it focuses mostly on my two characters rather than all the quests and adventures of Skyrim.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa wakes up in a prison to discover she's alone in this world, her family killed by the Thalmor. She attempts to escape only to find a battered man. He tries to kill her but passes out just in time. Runa wants to be angry, but she knew the man was injured and in pain. Together they plan their escape.
> 
> This chapter was edited: 8/26/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

Her eyes flitted open and struggled to move, her body screaming in pain. Everything was a blur as she attempted to sit up. Once she sat up, a stabbing pain exploded through her head. She feared she had a concussion.

It took a moment for her eyes to accustom to the darkness, alleviated only by minimal torchlight, as her eyes came into focus. As her vision cleared, she saw she was in a small room surrounded by wet stone walls. She sensed water dripping and smell the dank stench of mold and rotting corpses. Her stomach roiled as she fought down the urge to vomit. It was freezing, and she found she was sitting in a puddle of water. There was moaning coming from someplace nearby and surmised she was in a prison.

She shivered as she scooted sideways to get out of the water and wrapped her arms around herself for warmth. The woman couldn't recall how she got here or what had induced all this pain, taking a quick inventory of her body. She felt battered and bruised as if she'd ran through a patch of briars naked. The delicate and tender touch to her head discovered a huge lump that explained the pounding headache. As she touched her face's left side, there was a horrible stinging sensation, and her hand came away wet and sticky—blood. The woman had no way of knowing how deep the wound was, only that it was painful. The torn shift she was wearing was dirty, and the sleeveless straps kept slipping off her shoulders. She winced, realizing someone had removed all her clothes and put on this sorry excuse for a rag. What else had they done to her while she was out? 

Now that she had a mental checklist of her injuries, she tried to recall who she was and what happened. _Runa. My name is Runa Storm-Bringer. _The ability to remember her name gave her an anchor as more memories surfaced. She had vague recollections of a battle or fight where people died. She shook her head as if to clear out the cobwebs as if that would bring back the rest of her memories. That was the wrong thing to do. Pain stabbed her head, and she took a sharp intake of breath at the same time, a loud groan came from the other suffering soul in the dungeon. 

The memories hit her full force—screaming, fire, bodies flying like rag dolls, death. She almost fell in grief as her face twisted with horror and loss. People had died! Not just any people—the Thalmor slaughtered her father and brothers! Bastards! _We were at camp, and they just attacked us after we saw that dragon! Why would they do such a thing? _

Her father was a staunch supporter of the Empire. There was no cause to harm him—or any of them! She recalled the urge to fight back and defend her family, but all she was able to do was scream. Then… she struggled to remember. She had heard a loud booming noise, but unable to pinpoint what it was. Then everything had gone black. Someone must have hit her over the head. The woman remembered nothing else until waking up in this prison cell. She wondered why they hadn't killed her, too. How long had she been here? Why would they take her? 

Still hugging herself for warmth, she looked around the dim room. She had to push out her sorrow and grief and focus on getting out. Somehow. She looked toward the cell door, she started. A guard clad in golden Elven armor stood there with his back to her. 

_ Has he been there this whole time? Why? I'm not even a threat to an insect at this point. _

Runa wasn't the biggest or strongest woman, but she was agile enough to move silently. Despite her noble heritage, living with all men in her family taught her how to survive Skyrim's harsh life. Her family valued ancient Nord ways. She was a Nord, and she had to fight like one. 

Her oldest brother, Balen, taught her how to hunt through the woods using a bow or even a thrown dagger. The next oldest brother Baldr taught her how to use a few essential spells. He was a mage like their father. And her third brother, Tabor, the youngest of the three, taught her how to wield a one-handed sword and ax. He'd even schooled her in lock-picking. He never shared with her where he picked up that particular skill. Her father was the one who had educated her, ensuring that she read daily and studied a bit about plants and herbs. Whenever she would complain about all the reading, he would lecture her. Her family knew they wouldn't be around all the time and unable to protect her, so they made sure she had the ability to defend herself.

"Weapons are necessary for survival sometimes," her father would say when she wasn't up to reading on those days. "But you need an intelligent mind to help you get out of those tough situations. Knowledge will be your greatest strength." 

She glared hard at the guard, her anger near raging. Her father, brothers, were innocent. How was anyone so ruthless? The elf had his back to the cell door, leaning against it, arms crossed. He appeared bored with watching a woman who was supposed to be passed out. She rose in silence to diminish the pain in her skull. It was like someone shoving a knife in her brain. Runa's movements were hushed, her long legs strong as they carried her across the room. Her bare feet on the stone floor sounded like a mammoth walking to her ears, but the guard didn't seem to notice. The only option was to slip her arm through the bars and try to strangle him unconscious, which would not be easy. She wasn't at her best. She thanked the Gods the guard wasn't wearing a helm. 

She stretched her arm through the bars with speed, and before he reacted, she grabbed her hand and braced her feet against the cell door. She pushed back with all the strength in her legs—she choked him. Runa's most significant advantage was that the elf was distracted. He struggled, pawing, clawing, and grasping, but the bars between them prevented him from getting a good hold. She held fast, fueled by adrenaline and anger, ignoring the screaming pain in her head. Once the elf quit struggling, and she was sure he was unconscious, she let go and collapsed to the ground. Stars swam in front of her eyes from the exertion and concussion. She lay there for a minute, panting, heart hammering, until the shooting pain and the need to vomit subsided. The last time she was this ill was waking up from an evening of drinking too much Honningbrew Mead with her brothers for the first time. The hangover from that night was a trifle compared to how she felt now. 

She had to get moving before more guards came, so she through the bars, rifled through his pouch, and found the keys to the cell, thanking Gods for her fortune. What a horrible situation it would be to kill the guard and discover there were no keys. After letting herself out, she picked up his ax and pulled the dagger from the sheath on his belt. The pouch yielded two health potions and downed one of them, the wave of warmth radiated through her body, the pain easing from her head. It took just a few minutes, and she was almost whole again. Runa tore a piece of cloth from her tattered shift, she used it to tie her long, wavy black hair into a ponytail. The long bangs were still a problem, but at least the rest of her hair was out of the way. 

Runa looked down at the guard and noted he was still alive, but there was no way she could leave him that way. If he woke before she got away—no, she didn't want to think about what would happen to her if they caught her trying to escape. Her death wouldn't be quick or painless.

A memory floated in her mind of her eldest brother. He took her hunting when she was only eleven winters, and she'd taken down a deer. The creature was only injured, bleeding, but it suffered. It forced her and Balen to track it through the forest until it weakened enough to collapse. To her horror, Balen made her slit the animal's throat, explaining to her it was better for a quick death than to suffer. "_Make your strike strong and quick, Runa. You don't want it to suffer any more than you have to." _

Runa took a heavy breath to calm her nerves and disgust, she slashed across the Altmer's jugular. The expected wave of nausea washed over her, but she choked it down, coughing into her hand. _It was my life or his! _She needed to remind herself there will be times she had no choice but to take a life if it meant she lived.

The moaning came anew from the cell, loud enough to make her jump as the killing frayed her nerves. She cursed under her breath, forcing her heart to calm. It sounded like a man, and he seemed to be a prisoner as she was. _ I can't just leave him there to suffer. No matter what he's done, no one deserves torture from the Thalmor. _

She strode with cautious steps up to his cell. The man sat on the ground, covered in filth and blood, slumped forward. His long black hair was wet and stuck to his face, so she wasn't able to tell what he looked like. His shirtless body and torn pants revealed patches of wounds and blood. Runa gasped when she saw his back. It looked like raw meat. The Thalmor must have whipped his entire back, unable to imagine his pain as a wave of empathy hit her. She used the guard's keys, she fumbled until she found the right one and unlocked his cell. Her intention was to leave him the last health potion and be on her merry way. He needed to figure his own out from there.

Runa shoved the potion towards the man. "Hey there, I have..." 

Before she could finish, shock hit when she found herself on her back with the man's hands around her throat. She clawed and gasped in desperation. 

"I'm going to kill you all!" he growled, eyes wild. Runa was weak; the man was too heavy for her to push him off of her, though she tried. His thick hands squeezed her throat, and stars appeared before her eyes, her vision turning black. She kept clawing at his hands, attempting to pry them off, but they were like vices and were crushing her windpipe. She couldn't breathe at all, let alone try to explain to him she was just trying to help. Useless legs flailed, hitting his arms with fists in a last-ditch effort to stay alive, but the man wouldn't budge. Her eyes were like they were popping out of her skull, while her vision went dark. _ I knew I should have just kept going! _

As if by a miracle, the pressure left her throat, gasping for air, coughing, his dense body pressing her painfully against the stone floor and making it difficult to regain the breath she'd lost. It took all her remaining strength to roll him off. When she was free, she lay on her back, gasping until she could breathe normally again. She rolled over, crawling on hands and knees, almost retching, still dizzy. Her throat was raw and bruised when she swallowed what little spit she had in her mouth. She almost downed the last potion, but one look at his raw back made her soften. _ He didn't know what he was doing, but he almost killed me. _

Runa put the potion in front of him, stood to scan the outside of his cell, listening for telltale signs of her impending death. Their rumble made a lot of noise, and she worried other guards heard them, but all was quiet. There was a rush to escape, but she had to have a plan. She knew the Thalmor weren't far—somewhere close by. Eventually, they would make their grand appearance with gleeful smiles on their sadistic faces with anticipated joys of potential torture. In her dark mood, she wondered if they taught Thalmor children to torture by learning to tear off little dragonflies' wings. 

She started toward the cell door, stopping when she heard the man moan again. He must have been in pain to moan while unconscious. She bowed her head in frustration—fighting an internal battle. If the roles were reversed, she would hope that he would help her, but that was wishful thinking on her part. _ Damn it all to Oblivion! I can't just leave him. _

Runa walked back to the man, and squatted down, trying to roll him over. It was no easy feat as she weakened, and he was so very heavy and so very large, but she finally managed it, slipping a few times on her butt. Pillowing his head onto her lap, she was thankful that he was unconscious and unable to feel the cold, rough stone on his torn and bloody flesh. It wasn't just empathy, but she didn't want him to draw the Thalmor's attention. 

With his head leaning at an upward angle on her lap, she pried his mouth open and pulled the cork off of the health potion bottle with her teeth, and spat out the cork. She drizzled the liquid into his mouth as he swallowed in reflex, dribbling it in small doses, trying not to lose too much of it on the sides of his mouth. After a few moments, his eyes fluttered open, unfocused, confused. Runa scrambled back in fear as he shot up off the floor and crouched in a defensive position, ready to pounce on her should she make the wrong move.

His eyes angry and wild, looking around erratically until they focused on her. He seemed relaxed once he realized she was a prisoner like himself. The woman's face was bloody and battered, but her eyes were the bluest he'd ever seen. Her shift slipped down from her shoulders as she struggled to keep them in place, the annoyance evident on her face, exposing the top of her shapely breasts. He stared uncaring, too angry, and in too much pain to feel ashamed, but his eyes reached hers when she covered herself up with her arms.

"You're a prisoner like me," he said, sounding deflated. He inspected the cell, saw the empty potion bottle, and picked it up, examining it. "You gave me this? Where did you get it?" 

She motioned toward the dead guard, and he turned to look over his shoulder. He turned back to her. The woman was moving her body closer to the cell door, away from him. There was fear in her eyes mixed with anger.

"You took out a Thalmor guard? All on your own?" he asked.

Her lips tightened in irritation, and she glared at him, the fear replaced by anger. "Well, I am a Nord. I gave you my last health potion, even though you tried to strangle me. You almost killed me. So, you'll forgive me if I'm not in the best of moods. I believe I've done enough for you." She stood, wobbled, still in pain. All her healing earlier was for nothing.

"I… what?" The man inspected her throat in the dim light and could see the flesh was an angry red, bruising already. It was bad enough to be visible even under the bit of torchlight available. He had no memory of it. "I… I must have thought you were one of them… I'm so sorry. I don't remember what happened."

"It was clear you didn't mean it. You were out of your head. But it was fortunate that you passed out when you did; otherwise, I would be dead. Your strength was beyond me, and I couldn't get you off." 

Runa edged toward the cell door to get away from him and out of her nightmare. 

"Wait… please," he said. At least the man had enough awareness to whisper. 

She turned back to him, one hand on the cell door ready to flee. 

"I am sorry for hurting you. I would never hurt you on purpose or if I was clear-headed. Why would you still help me, though, after that?" 

"I am uncertain," Runa shrugged. "After I rolled you off me, which wasn't easy—you are like a rock—I saw your back. I just couldn't leave without trying to heal as much as I could. No one should suffer like that. How are you now?" 

"Much better, thanks to you. That potion is a miracle in a bottle. Or maybe you are my miracle." 

She avoided his eyes, looking around the cell, trying to ignore the compliment. She was in a Thalmor prison, listening to a man flatter her and enjoying it! Ridiculous! She needed to leave before more Thalmor came! Runa wasted enough time.

"I'm Kaidan," he said. 

"Runa," she responded, feeling foolish. If she was going to leave, she needed to get going and stop talking to the man, but she couldn't make her feet move. 

"We need to leave," she said, uncertain why she did. Runa already helped the man. Why did she need to bring him with her? Looking at him and his healed body, she could use his strength. Perhaps he could help her escape in return for healing him.

Kaidan struggled to his feet, still weak, but better than he was. He could see the keys dangling from the woman's hand and could not believe he now had a way out. But… he couldn't leave. Not without his sword. 

"Runa, I… I know I have no right to ask this—I know we need to leave right now—but I can't leave here without my sword." 

"You can have this ax," she said, holding the Elven weapon she'd pilfered from the guard out to him. 

"No," he said, shaking his head. "This isn't me being sentimental. That sword is important, and it's the reason I'm here. If the Thalmor want that sword, then they shouldn't have it."

She lowered the ax, sighing in frustration. "Kaidan…" They had to escape, not hunt down weapons. The longer they spent not leaving, the more chances they had of getting caught.

"I'm a good and strong fighter, Runa. I can help you, but I need that sword. I'd like to get my armor back too—but I'll settle for the sword." 

Runa could see his desperation, the look in his eyes was pleading, and she felt frail. The more she thought about it, the more she wondered if she would get out of this prison alone in her condition. She let out a relenting sigh. It was insane, but Runa acknowledged she needed help. 

"Fine, but please don't make me regret this. I'm not sure I can trust you, but we can talk about that later. Let's go get your stuff." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Escaping and recovering swords.


	2. The Great Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa Storm-Bringer and Kaidan, after a very rocky start, work their way to get out of their prison alive.
> 
> This chapter was edited: 8/27/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3

Kaidan rose, trembling in his weakness. He was better, but his legs threatened to give way. Runa rushed to his side and tried to steady him until he was steady on his feet. He couldn't remember how long he'd been in this prison at the mercy of the Thalmor. The days blended one into another, filled with pain and hopelessness. They had questioned him for information regarding his sword—information he didn't have, but they hadn't believed him. He stood for a moment, gathering what remained of his strength for the challenge to come.

Runa handed him the Elven ax she pilfered from the guard, but she kept the dagger. When they exited the cell, she walked over to the guard, she had to remove his armor, which might protect her if Thalmor should force her to fight. But after they removed the armor with difficulty, they found it was too large for her and too small for Kaidan to wear. 

"Bastard!" Kaidan growled.

Runa pulled the loose straps of her shift back onto her shoulders yet again. "Well, torn wet rag it is." 

With no other choice, Runa and Kaidan had to fight without protection.

"Let me go first. That way, I can over-power the guards. Stay behind me and get those that stray away from my ax," Kaidan said. 

"No, I will go first," she said, her voice still hoarse from Kaidan's chokehold. "My brothers… trained me to be silent. I can sneak up to the guards and slit their throats. I know a little bit of magic too. You can… kill those I cannot. We don't know how many are out there, and we stand a better chance if we can catch most of them by surprise." 

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't agree, but he was dizzy with weakness and from hunger. The ax felt awkward in his hand as if he were holding a hatchet, missing his great-sword. At least they weren't completely defenseless. Positives, right?

"Very well. As you command, My Lady." 

She looked at him sharply, wondering if he was mocking her, but softened when she noted he wasn't facetious. "I'm not your 'Lady.' Runa will do."

Runa trod over to a cell door on the other side to unlock it, pushing it open with care to decrease the squeak made by the rusty old metal. They both stepped through and continued through the corridor toward a flight of stone stairs. Despite her brave words, she worried about uncertainty. There could be one guard or ten, or maybe the Emperor himself, for all she knew. Every step, every breath they took made her anxious that the guards might hear them. It was unexpected, but grateful that the man was silent despite his big frame—If the Thalmor detected them, things could go from bad to worse. If they got caught, quick deaths were all they could hope for.

As she reached the stairs, she lowered herself, creeping upward, not knowing what to expect around the next corner. There was a combination of fear and anger that tugged her in two different directions. Runa knew she had to kill again if they didn't get her first. But the anger she rose in her, remembering what they did to her family, kept her going, pushing her, guiding her to escape. Not to let her family die in vain. The Thalmor deserved nothing less than death for what they did. 

She peeked around the edge of the doorway. A Thalmor Wizard sat at a small table, shuffling papers. Her heart constricted, and her mouth went dry. She paused, letting her anger rise, then sprang forward, grabbing hood and hair to yank his head back, and slashed his throat with a savagery she hadn't known she possessed. Blood fountained from his throat, staining the wall and the table over her arm. She staggered back, feeling her gorge rise and her head pound, staring at the blood on her killing hand. Kaidan reached for her, but she fell to her knees before he could grab her. She scrambled to a corner and retched, her empty stomach yielding nothing but bile. 

"Well done," Kaidan whispered. "Are you alright?" 

She sat back on her heels, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "I'll live. I'm… not used to killing." 

The most unusual sword she had ever seen lay across the table, but it was familiar somehow. There were strange runes etched into the gleaming blade. Kaidan reached over her and snatched it up, inspecting it to check for damage. "I can't tell you how happy this makes me," he said with a grin. He cleaned blood that spilled on it by wiping it on the dead elf's robes, then he rifled the wizard's pockets, drawing out a set of keys, trying them one by one on the chest, which stood against one wall. "My armor and scabbard have to be around here somewhere."

Runa clambered to her feet and then sat on the nearby bed to recover. Her stomach was still acidic and turning, but she was hopeful she wouldn't be sick again. Not once in her short years did she believe that she would have to fight for her life, thanking the Gods that brought her brothers into her life and trained her. Her lips quivered at her loss, eyes watered, but she choked it back. They haven't escaped yet. And she needed to keep her head together.

The chest popped open. "Ha! Everything is here!" cried Kaidan. 

"Would you mind keeping your voice down?" Runa hissed at him. 

"Sorry, I'm just relieved I found my things, thanks to you." He pulled out the armor and put it on, grimacing when the metal touched his raw back. Kaidan inspected the chest once more, hoping his tunic was in there, but it was empty. He was going to suffer the pain of bare skin against leather and metal until he can get a new one.

"Is there something of mine in that magical chest of yours?" Runa asked, not wanting to escape in just rags.

"There's nothing here but my armor, bow, and arrows. Sorry." 

Runa stared at him as he got dressed. The armor looked similar to Blade armor, something she had only seen in books, but it had two mirrored images of tigers etched into the breastplate. She wondered what it meant. Then it hit her that his sword was also similar to the Blades of old. There was a curve to it, thin and narrow, not like the wide and heavy blades commonly used in Skyrim._ Who is this man? Yes, his sword and armor were unique, but what interest could the Thalmor have in them? _

"Ah, what a relief. This armor and I go way back. It's as a second skin to me, despite my _skin _not being happy to have anything touching it. Well, it's better than nothing."

Kaidan looked at Runa sitting, watching, and held his bow out to her. "Here, you can use this until we can get one for you. The bow is very special to me, and I would appreciate you giving it back, but please use it for now. Are you familiar with bows?" 

"I... thank you, I will take good care of it. Yes, I'm proficient in archery." She'd always preferred the bow. It was second nature to her thanks to her brother Balen taking her hunting often. Her sore throat constricted, and her eyes burned with tears again as she thought of him. She turned her head away until she could get herself under control. With a hand to her chest, she took several deep breaths to calm herself. If she let go of her emotions, she knew she would be useless—a blubbering mess. She had to keep it together until they got to a place of safety, making a promise to let herself grieve when they got out of there.

"I owe you a great debt, My Lady… sorry, Runa. I'm not sure it's a debt I can ever repay, but I will do everything in my power to protect you with all my strength and my life. If you let me, I swear I will not leave your side until I repay my debt to you," Kaidan declared. 

This man went from a feral sabre cat that attacked her to a chivalrous noble ready to carry her off her feet to Sovngarde should she perish. Runa decided to help him get out, but she wasn't interested in debts owed and paid. Once they escaped, he was on his own. "Let's just get out of here first, then we can discuss the rest of it later." 

They stopped wasting time and searched the room for any goods or supplies they could use to help them get out of the prison. 

"Here, catch," Kaidan said.

He tossed a bright red apple her way and fumbled before catching it. The very sight of food caused her stomach to growl. She then wondered when was the last time she ate. Runa took a large bite of the apple, savoring it as if it was the best apple in the world, juice from the fruit sliding down her face. Kaidan also found some food—old crusty bread. It wasn't as good as the apple, but food was food. She thought about sharing her apple, but it was fleeting, deciding to be selfish. She was starving. 

As they continued to search the small stone room, they found a torch, a dirty and old commoner dress, and some worn-out leather boots for Runa that seemed to fit well enough, but would still cause blisters without wearing socks. She didn't want to know why there was a woman's dress in the room. It wasn't armor, but at least she wouldn't be half-naked anymore. The clothing was also warmer than the wet rag she was wearing. Kaidan found a backpack and stuffed it with two moldy and stained blankets while she was behind a pillar getting dressed. 

"Oh, that's nice to be out of those wet rags," she said.

"Thank The Nine!" Kaidan grunted, closing a drawer in a small table. "I found some fire-making tools. When we reach the outdoors and find a safe place to camp, I can make us a fire." A smile tugged at Runa's lips at the thought of sitting by a warm, crackling fire, something she took for granted until now. "My flame spell that will also make us a fire," she said. 

"Oh, you know some spells then?" he asked.

"Yes, most of us have a bit of magic, but most Nords ignore it. One of my brothers helped me to practice."

"Good to know. Are we ready, then? Have we searched for everything here?" Kaidan asked. 

"Yes, I believe so. Let's move on and see if we can deal with the rest of the guards or bypass them altogether," she said. "I wonder why there aren't many guards so far."

"Maybe we haven't run into them yet—there could be many more in the other direction. Let's go the other way; this way looks like a dead end."

Runa pulled up each side of her skirt into her belt to not trip on them while trying to sneak. She hated to expose her legs, but she was already bare legged earlier anyway. She needed freedom of movement. The last thing she needed was to sneak up on a guard, only to have her trip and fall on top of him instead. If she was lucky, her stench would kill them. Not that the man smelled much better.

As they headed out of the room, Kaidan tried not to stare at her long smooth muscular legs. Her legs were bare before, but it seemed different now that she was in a dress. _ Now is not the time, Kaidan. It's time to focus. _

The duo headed back through the corridor and into the jail cells, then up another stone stairs flight. Nearing the top of the stops, they heard soft voices—talking. Runa could tell this time there was more than one guard, but it was hard to tell how many, praying that there were no mages this time. One was hard to handle, but combine a mage with guards, and she and Kaidan would be in serious trouble. She pulled out her dagger in stealth, and her other hand lit up with her flame spell. She turned around and could see Kaidan, too, readied his sword, nodding at her. As she sneaked up a flight of stairs into the next room, she could see two Thalmor guards playing a card game. 

_ Good, looks like we get to ruin their fun. _

Runa crept towards the guard with his back to her, as she did with the first guard, ready to attack. Before she reacted, the second guard looked up and saw Runa hunched and stood up and attacked. He lunged his Elven sword at her, cutting her on her stomach's left side before she could even react, but still attempted to escape his blows. The stinging pain hit her full force. She looked down and could see red spread across her dress. A strange confusion filled her and looked at the blood as if she was someone else's blood, not hers. Touching her side, her hand came away sticky and red. When clarity set in and realized it was her blood, adrenaline pumped through her, hands shaking. 

Another guard she snuck up on had stood and turned to attack too when he suddenly lost his head. One moment his head was on his neck; the next, it was gone. His head bounced on the ground and landed right at Runa's feet, his deathly stare in shock. Her brain tried to register what her eyes saw, but dizziness swept over her, and her stomach roiled.

Kaidan reached Runa just in time and had used his momentum, after killing the first guard, to decapitate the second guard in one blow. 

Runa tried to stand up, but after the death today, the head bouncing and looking at her in surprise, she threw up the apple she just ate all over the guard's face. There wasn't much to throw up, but her body kept on trying, gagging—the thought of retching on the guard's face made her want to vomit more. 

Killing rabbits and Elk just weren't the same as killing high elves, even if they were the enemy._ My brothers never prepared me for this. _Feeling light-headed, she knew she was losing too much blood. 

As she was sinking to sit on the ground, she felt strong hands lift her up by her armpits and helped her walk. The dizziness in her head turned light-headed, her stomach acidic. Confusion hit her, looking up at the man carrying her away, his face tight, focused.

"We have to go now! Throw up later!" Kaidan yelled, trying to get them out of there and fast. He hefted her through the long corridors, up a circular stone stairway until they came to an old door that led outside and finally to their well-deserved freedom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Escapes don't always lead to safety.


	3. The River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Runa finally escape their prison only to find themselves nearly drowning and freezing in the rapids.
> 
> This chapter was edited: 8/28/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3

After that dimly lit dungeon, the full blast of daylight was a shock to their eyes, painfully so as they squinted and tried to see where they needed to go. They were blinded enough that they toppled, almost fell into the rapid river before them—one small ledge between them and the frigid waters. After his eyes adjusted, Kaidan scanned the area, processing as fast, and saw that the stone bridge crumbled and washed away long ago. 

He had to figure out how they could get across the river, but there was no more time. The door behind them burst open, and two more Thalmor guards, swords drawn, started after Runa and Kaidan. He didn't think, he just reacted, having no other options.

"I'm sorry about this, Runa," he said as he shoved her into the rushing river and jumped in after her. 

Runa was weak now from the blood loss and death, and the shock of the freezing waters didn't help. She was an excellent swimmer, but this was too much—the waters too cold and too forceful. The cold water shocked her system. Between the concussion, the hunger, the stabbing, and blood loss, Runa wouldn't take much more. Her body slipped under the rapid waters, slamming against the rocks as the river continued to push her forward and over some small waterfalls. Her body landed on rocks below, cracking a rib, desperate for air. The force of the water tumbled her, struggling to tell what was up or what was down.

She was ready to succumb—accept death, her vision darkening when she felt strong hands grip by the arms and lift her head out of the water. Runa coughed and sputtered water, breathing for the beautiful air in gulps.

"Hang on," Kaidan yelled over the roaring waters. He swam and dragged Runa with one hand, struggling to swim to shore with the other when they came to a section of calmer waters. After more struggling, he pulled himself and Runa, with great effort, to the shore. He carried her in the water along with his heavy armor on, he wondered how they didn't drown.

They laid on the muddy shore panting and shivering, but only for a moment. They would have to get moving again. Kaidan knew they were far enough down the river that the Thalmor wouldn't be able to find them right away, and if they were lucky, the Thalmor would believe they drowned, but they had to keep moving. He doubted the Thalmor jumped in after them, but he knew they would not give up their chase. 

They needed to find warmth before hypothermia set in for both of them. Kaidan knew the water-soaked all their supplies, and there was no way to make a fire or get them warm with blankets. He looked over at Runa, who looked too weak to do her flame spell. The woman was barely conscious, so their only choice was to search for some camp or farm. They were near Eastmarch. Perhaps they could find a hot spring to soak in.

"Come on. We have to keep moving." He lifted Runa onto her feet, draped her arm over his shoulder, and walked straight, not knowing where he was going, no destination in mind. His only thought was warmth. 

It was low going. Runa was losing too much blood. He sensed her weakening with each step as her body got heavier and heavier. As nighttime approached and the weather cooled for the evening, they were both shivering, teeth chattering. He had to keep walking and carrying her as best he was able; what other choice was there? 

He would stand a better chance of survival if he just let her go, but he was now bound to her. Kaidan made a vow to her. Besides, he wasn't the type to let someone just die for his own personal survival, so he was going to hold to that vow, and carried her. _ She saved my life. I can do no less by her. _

When her feet were just dragging on the ground, he knew she passed out. He used what remaining strength he had in him to lift and carry her in his arms. She wasn't that heavy, but he wasn't at his best either, weakening himself. 

His heart hammered in excitement when he saw firelight ahead. But unable to just walk up to the camp and ask for help. Skyrim was full of bandits and outlaws. Kaidan didn't go all that way just for them to end up dead by a bunch of thugs. He laid Runa down among some bushes and prayed to all nine Gods that no animal would find her. It wouldn't be difficult for a predator to see her as prey with all the blood on her.

As he reached the camp, he basked in the heat radiating from the fire, which felt like a warm blanket. He groaned in pleasure, enjoying the minimal heat. Sitting by the fire, he saw a lone man carving some wood to make arrows. He was a lot older, with balding gray hair and full of wrinkles, and he didn't seem to be a threat. Kaidan crossed his fingers and walked up to him, hands open, non-threatening. 

"Excuse me, good sir," Kaidan said, respectful. 

"What can I do for you, son?" said the old man, his voice gruff, not even looking up from his work, unafraid.

"I seek your aid in helping a friend of mine. She's severely injured and needs some treatment. Could you please help us? Anything will help. Even just sitting by the fire for a minute," Kaidan begged, pleaded.

The old man looked up from his work and at Kaidan. "Injured, you say? Well, you better bring her over here, and I can take a look at her. Let's see her injuries, then maybe I can heal her."

"Thank you so much! I will be right back. I left her behind in case you were a… well, it doesn't matter."

Kaidan couldn't believe their fortune and ran back to where he left Runa. She was still there, unharmed, but she wasn't moving at all. She was too still. He checked her pulse and found it still beating, but faint, and her skin was cold to the touch. His sigh of relief was evident as he lifted her, almost tripping in his own weakness, and carried her to the old man's camp. 

The old hunter already created a little bed of leaves and furs for Runa to lie on and had a bowl of rabbit stew ready to share. 

The old man handed the stew to Kaidan, then looked over at Runa. "Eat now. I will see what I can do for your friend here". 

"No, she could get the food. She needs it more than I." 

"Well, as gallant as that may be, there is plenty enough for all of us. Eat." 

"Aye, thank you," Kaidan said in his appreciation. 

Despite what the old man told him, there were feelings of guilt for eating while Runa was suffering, but his stomach hurt with hunger pangs, and his mouth salivated, anticipating the food, not remembering the last time he ate, besides the stale bread. He tried not to gulp down the food and to savor it, but his hands and stomach wouldn't let him. He couldn't remember tasting anything so delicious. Perhaps it was because he had no food in a while. The old gentleman was an excellent cook with the herbs. He mopped up the rest of the stew with a piece of coal baked bread. 

"Let me look at your friend here," the man said, inspecting Runa. "She is freezing, has deep wounds in her left cheek on her face with severe bruising around her neck, and she appears to have a stab wound on her stomach's left side. I will not ask how this happened to her, but the only way I can treat all her wounds and get her warm is to remove these wet clothes." 

"Absolutely not!" Kaidan yelled, protective over her, standing to stop the man from getting near Runa. 

"Listen, son," the man said gently, but firmly. "If we don't get these wet clothes off of her, she's going to die of hypothermia. If you don't want me to remove her clothes, then you must do it. There is no other way. Once they are off, we will pull her close to the fire to get warm again, and I will tend to her wounds. I have some poultices here I use when I get injured in my hunts. They will help her, but she's running out of time, son. You need to need to decide and make it quick." 

Kaidan knew the old man was right. He had seen hypothermia before and knew it was best to remove her cold and wet clothes, but the part of him felt it was wrong to see her in such a vulnerable state, but it was the only way to ensure she gets warm, and to treat all her wounds.

He cursed at himself. She may not like him for it, but it was the right thing to do. He grabbed an extra fur and draped it on top of Runa. He lifted the fur partway to unlace the old dress. Once the bindings were loose, Kaidan pulled one arm out of the sleeve with care and moved on to the next sleeve. It wasn't difficult to do as the dress was too big for her. He tried to close his eyes, work blindly, as much as he could as he undressed her. 

Once she was out of the dress on top, he covered up the top part of her body and worked the dress down her hips and legs. Next, he removed her boots. Kaidan draped the dress over a tree branch close to the fire to dry overnight. He covered her up with the fur, breathing a sigh of relief that it was over with, letting the old man do his healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: The kindness of others


	4. Arik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone in Skyrim is kind and willing to help those in need, but once in a while, one can get lucky.
> 
> This Chapter was edited: 8/29/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3

Runa's eyes fluttered open, and her vision was fuzzy. She felt warm and comfortable nestled between soft fur. As her eyes came into focus, she saw trees and blue sky. She didn't know where she was, but the woman felt so good at the moment, she didn't care. As Runa's vision cleared, she looked around to see an old man sleeping soundly in a tent on the other side of the fire. _ Who is that? _

Confusion set in seeing the strange man, but waking up opened memories of yesterday and the prison. She remembered being pushed into the river, but not much else after that. Bits and pieces tossed around in her mind—cold water, hitting rocks. It was a blank after that. Runa tried to sit up, but all the pain spread through her body and head, hitting her with a wave of dizziness. Her comfort was over. 

She lifted the fur to look at the wound in her stomach, remembering an elf stabbed her with his sword. There was a large burn mark in its place, assuming someone used fire to close the wound and some ointment on top. She realized she was naked under the furs. _ Where are my clothes? _ She tugged her fur closer to her body, realizing someone undressed her, feeling panicked and vulnerable. Wait, where's Kaidan? She scanned the camp, Runa found him near her, sleeping between some furs. 

It wasn't long after Runa woke up, Kaidan opened his eyes and looked over at her. There was no stretching, yawning, easing into wakefulness. He stood and rushed to her side, checking on her. _ Thank the Gods she's alive. _

"How are you? Are you OK? Do you hurt anywhere?" Kaidan asked his barrage of questions. 

The man only had his breeches on, and now that they were out of that dark prison, she saw how strong and fit he was... the human boulder. No wonder he almost killed her and barely got him off of her when he passed out. If he wasn't as big and strong as he was, she's not sure she would have survived. Kaidan must have pulled her out of the water and brought her to this camp. It was the only logical explanation because she remembered none of it.

"Yes, thanks to you, it seems. I hurt a lot, but at least I'm alive. It's better than being dead." 

Kaidan went over to the pot sitting on the warm coals of the diminished fire from the previous night, and got her a bowl of warm rabbit stew. "You must be hungry. Here, it's been warming in the pot overnight, but it's food," he said as he handed her the wooden bowl he had used last night with some crusty bread that baked in the coals. 

"I must apologize for removing your clothes last night. You were freezing, and your clothes were cold and wet. We worried about hypothermia. Plus, we had to treat your stab wound. Well, not me, but that man sleeping over there. But I promise you I had my eyes closed most of the time and tried to keep you covered and..." Kaidan rambled on, embarrassed. 

Runa sat up, wrapping the furs snug around her, and raised her hand to quiet him. "I understand. Thank you for trying not to stare, but mostly thank you for taking care of me last night."

She was starving, noticing the first pangs of hunger since she woke up, and ate the delicious stew. Though she was still in a lot of pain, the food helped her to be whole again. It was amazing what food did for the body when one has been knocked over the head, in prison, choked, stabbed, and almost drowned. Thinking about it made her wonder how she was alive at all.

Kaidan sat across from her, legs crossed, watching her eat. The worry on his face was evident.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked, uncomfortable and not understanding why he worried about her. He didn't know her. 

He had these crazy, intense colored eyes she hadn't noticed before in the darkened prison. His irises were red, and his eyes were more almond-shaped rather than round, typical of Nords. She has seen nothing like them before and found that she was staring as well. There was an interesting tattoo on the right side of his sculpted face that matched his eyes. He definitely did not appear to be a Nord or any race that she could determine. She couldn't place his skin tone and almond-shaped eyes to any country she was familiar with—certainly not from Skyrim. 

"Sorry, I was just worried you wouldn't make it. I made a vow to you to protect you, only to find you would die a few hours later. I have made a lousy protector so far." Kaidan looked downright contrite as if all her suffering was his fault, which it wasn't.

Runa softened, understanding now. "The reason I'm alive is that you pushed me in that water. You saved me from the guards in the prison after they stabbed me, and you carried me outside while I was bleeding. You pushed me into that water because we had nowhere else to go. It appeared you saved me from downing, carried me to a camp to get warm and healed. You just fed me. I'm alive right now because of you. I think I can safely say you no longer owe me anything if you ever did."

All the talking made her tired, and her head still hurt, but she needed to clarify that he was no longer in her debt, then move on to make her way back home. _ And where are my damned clothes? _ Wrapped in furs naked while talking to a man she hardly knew was uncomfortable.

"Well, we can agree to disagree, then. But if it is OK with you, I would like to stay by your side for a while longer, at least until we can get you home. I would have died in that prison were it not for you and you still severely injured," Kaidan said.

She could see his face imploring her to say yes and this stubborn resolve that he wouldn't take no for an answer. She sighed and agreed, but with reluctance. "OK, Kaidan. You can come along for now." _ He saved my life, after all. _

Runa had time to do a lot of thinking and believed the primary reason the Thalmor had her in prison and not killed with her family was that she lost it when her family was murdered. She yelled out, and bodies flung, smashed against boulders, stone walls. There was no logical explanation for what she did, but she was confident the Thalmor wanted to know how and why. But Runa had no answers. Her concern now was that Kaidan would find out and use it against her. He was in prison, and she saved him, but she wasn't sure she could trust him with her secret.

Her eyes teared up as she thought about her father and beloved brothers, lip quivering. Runa took a shuddered breath to calm herself. It wasn't the time to lose it. She had to hold it together for a while longer.

Kaidan ran off to grab their meager belongings that were now dry and shoved them into their backpack from the prison, along with a few furs and some poultices from the kind old man.

As he headed back to her, her dress in his hand, she swiped away the tears before he could see anything. If he asked her about the tears, she would lose it. Her strategically placed walls would come crumbling down.

A gruff voice spoke up, breaking her out of her thoughts and pain. "Well now, that we are done arguing who owes whom the most, let me check your wounds if you don't mind, young lady." 

Runa wrapped the furs tight around her, protectively. She didn't want him to look at her nakedness despite doing so the night before. Now that she was awake, it was strange and uncomfortable. "I'm OK now, kind sir." 

"Nonsense. One doesn't heal that fast, even if my poultices are damned good. Your wound was deep, but not so deep you won't heal quickly. But I had to burn the wound to stop the bleeding. You will risk infection if you are not careful. As for your face, well, those wounds will scar, I'm sorry to say. But you are still a pretty little lady, scars, or not." 

Runa's hand reached up to touch her face, hissing from the sting. She forgot about the wound there. He spread some poultice on her cheek to heal it, but he was right. It was going to scar.

"I can't thank you enough, kind sir. I don't think either of us would have lived were it not for you. Please tell me what your name is so I can thank you properly? When I get home, I will send you a thank you gift for taking such good care of us," Runa said. It was the least she could do. 

"You can call me Arik. And there is no need for such gifts. I live a simple life out here in the woods, hunting since my wife died a few years ago from an illness. I couldn't save her despite my knowledge of the healing arts," he said, sadness creeping in his eyes. 

Runa saw the man's pain. It was clear he still missed her. "I am truly sorry for your loss, and I am in your debt. Thank you, Arik, for everything." 

She looked around out at the landscape, trying to figure out where they were. The orange leaves of the birch trees were unique to the Rift. "Where are we, Arik?" 

"You are about a two day's walk northeast of Ivarstead," he said. 

_ Ivarstead! It's going to take me at least four days to get home, which is only under perfect conditions. _

If she had her gold, she and Kaidan could hire a carriage or rent some horses, but she had nothing at all. They had to walk, and there was no way around it.

Kaidan had his armor on, the pack on his back, ready to go. He shook the old man's hand, thanking him again.

They waved goodbye to their new-found friend and walked towards Ivarstead. Then they would move on to the path that would take them around through the lowest part of the mountain and onwards towards her home near Whiterun. It may have been quicker to go northwest and then around the mountain on the other side, but that is where the prison they escaped from. The Thalmor may still be searching for them both. So southwest it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Getting to know one another.


	5. Cleanliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now just some little fluff, nothing more ;). Not everything has to be running-for-your-life-danger.
> 
> This Chapter was edited: 8/29/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3

It was mid-morning when they left Arik's camp. It was a beautiful and warm day, and Runa felt somewhat stronger after their rest, food, and healing. They had a long road ahead of them, and she realized then that she might not make it home on her own, so she was reluctantly glad Kaidan persisted on coming with her. Her brothers trained her well, and she indeed would have died had they not, but she also realized now how much she still had to learn.

The walk was slow because the side of her stomach hurt, and Runa knew Kaidan's back was screaming at him. At least it wasn't cold. If it was snowing or the temperatures freezing, neither would make it. Being a Nord, she had a tolerance for cold, but it only went so far. Even Nords can freeze to death.

"Do you think we can make it to Ivarstead today?" she asked. "I thought it might take two, but I'm hoping not."

"We might make it in ten hours—make it there by the evening if we were healthy, but we are not. I could use a pleasant inn with some mead right about now, not that we have any gold for that. I'm not sure what we are going to do once we reach there," Kaidan said.

"When we get to Ivarstead, we can sell that Elven ax. We need an extra weapon, but at least we have your sword, and I have a dagger. It should fetch us a reasonable price."

"That sounds like a good plan. Let's go halfway today and then make a camp to rest for the night. We don't have any tents, but at least it is not too cold out. I will try to find a place to camp near water so we can at least get cleaned up. We are both still covered in dirt and blood." 

Any chance to get clean, even in an icy stream, sounded like a dream to Runa. She was tired of her own stench. Runa grew up in nobility, so being filthy and stinking wasn't something she was used to. Her situation was a wake-up call to how good she had it, though she wasn't spoiled or ignorant of the fact others suffered. 

They walked in silence through the lush aspen trees with the leaves changing to yellow and orange. Trees sprinkled the beautiful leaves on the road, turning the stones orange. It was nice having someone to talk to once in a while, but listening to the wind through the trees and birds chirping was wonderful. 

Runa forgot how beautiful the Rift was, especially this time of year, as the leaves changed. It reminded her of when she hunted with Balen, and they would sit, sometimes for hours, in silence, waiting for their prey. The tears welled up again and had to stop for a second to still her emotions. She tried to push her pain way down with a cough, forcing her family out of her mind.

"Why are you stopping? Do you need to rest?" Kaidan asked. He saw something had upset her. When she turned to him, she shook her head no and walked onward.

They pushed themselves for five hours before deciding to make camp by a large pond. They had eaten nothing since the early morning. Exhaustion hit Runa, grateful for the break. The left side of her stomach throbbed in pain, and part of the burned skin broke and bled against the fabric of her dress. If she was hurting, she struggled to imagine what Kaidan was suffering on his back with his armor on. 

After they had set up their camp with some leaves and the fur the old hunter gave them in his kindness, Runa pulled out Kaidan's bow to hunt for their dinner while Kaidan started a fire and making a spit for their hopeful meal that would soon feed them. 

"Perhaps I should go hunt. You are still hurting, and I can see the fresh blood seeping through your dress," Kaidan said.

"I am proficient with the bow. I can do it. Besides, you aren't much better off."

"Fine. Please don't go too far." Kaidan didn't like her going off by herself to hunt. She looked pale and tired, though he wasn't much better off. If something came at her, she wouldn't be able to fight it off. But the woman could take care of herself, and that she would persist regardless of his objections.

Runa promised the man and made her way through some dense birch trees to sit and wait for prey to come to her. She perched behind a fallen tree, waiting in silence, she tried not to think about her family. It was still so raw and painful and wondered if she would ever have the time to grieve the way she needed to. Thoughts of her father and brother kept forcing their way into her mind. Every time she shoved them away, they would appear again. There was no way she could stop her emotional pain forever. Runa just hoped it could wait until after she reached home, and the man moved on and out of her life. When the tears threatened to spill, she shifted her thoughts to her newly found 'I will die for you' friend.

Runa had to admit he interesting looking, but not in a bad way. He was attractive. She struggled to think where he might be from—his country of origin. She should ask him where he's from tonight. The man was older than she was, but not by much, being at most in his mid-20s. He was also extremely tall. It was common for Nords to be tall, but Kaidan was taller than most Nords.

Her keen ears perked up when she heard a slight rustling sound in the leaves that ended her daydreaming. In silence, she pulled out Kaidan's bow, nocked an arrow in the string, and pulled it back in a smooth motion, waiting. 

After she was ready, a little brown and white rabbit appeared rummaging through the leaves looking for some tasty treat. _ Sorry little bunny, but you are our tasty treat tonight. _Runa held her breath, she let it out as the arrow loosened from the bow, finding its target. One more, and she would head back to camp.

After their meager meal, Runa and Kaidan were refreshed. They both wanted more to eat, but it was all they had. 

To improve her evening and help her sleep, Runa wanted to get cleaned up in the pond. She understood strange things lurked in the waters, so she needed Kaidan's help. She wasn't comfortable bathing in front of him, but she needed him close by just in case.

“Kaidan? Can I ask a favor?” 

"What can I do for you?" he asked.

"I need to get cleaned up in the pond, but I need someone to keep an eye out for the bad things in the world while I do so. In particular, I need you to look out for slaughterfish. I am desperate to get clean, so I can put some more of Arik's poultice on my wounds." It was embarrassing to ask, but she had to be careful of infection. 

"Um… sure I can do that." His voice was uncertain, embarrassed like she was, but he would help her out. 

They walked the short distance to the pond, and Runa asked Kaidan to turn around while she removed her dress and boots. When his back turned, he heard her hiss. He was sure the dress was sticking to her wound from the dried blood. He didn't even want to think about his own back when it came time to remove his armor. After hearing some splashing and a little squeal from getting into the cold water, he knew she made it to the water.

"OK, you can turn around now. Thank you for the lookout."

Slaughterfish were found in larger bodies of water, but sometimes they found their way to the smaller ponds through rivers. Kaidan understood this from personal experience. When he was younger, he wadded in a small river, and one bit him on his thigh. He still had the scar to prove it. 

It wasn't fish that he was keeping an eye out for, though. If there were slaughterfish in there, they would already have attacked her with the sound of Runa's splashing. Her pale shoulders stood out starkly amongst the dark waters of the pond and her black hair. He tried to be a gentleman, but she was hard to ignore as the filth washed away.

Runa dipped under the water and came up with her hair wet and streaming down her back. She wiped the water out of her eyes, not realizing she turned in a way that Kaidan saw the side of her body. He glimpsed the side of her shapely breasts and found himself unable to pull his eyes off of her. He almost turned away, but she already had her back to him again.

"Please turn around again. I'm ready to come out now," Runa said.

Before slipping on her dress, Runa applied some poultice to her stomach. It stung at first but soon turned soothing. She didn't want to put the stinking, dirty and blood dress back on, but she had nothing else to wear.

"I'm all dressed now. Thank you, Kaidan, for keeping an eye out." 

He gave a slight nod of his head, praying he didn't convey he saw anything in his face. 

It was Kaidan's turn to get in the water to clean off all his blood and dirt so Runa could treat his back. "You need to get in the water and clean off all the blood, dirt, and sweat. I have to put the poultice on your back, and I can't do that if you're filthy. It will cause an infection."

"It's fine. It's not as bad as it seems," he protested, but she insisted. It's not that he didn't want to get clean, but he wasn't sure he would be able to remove his breastplate without it sticking to his wounds and back. It was going to be painful, removing it. 

After struggling with his armor, as predicted, his skin stuck to the inside with congealed blood. Kaidan needed some help. "Would you mind helping me? I think it's stuck my back."

"Of course." Runa helped him unbuckle the straps, and together they removed his breastplate, then the back of his armor. He hissed as she did earlier when they removed it, taking some skin with it. 

"Oh, Kaidan, your back looks horrific! Please go clean it, and I will get the blood out of your armor. When you're done, we will put some medicine on it."

When they got back to the camp, Kaidan got the fire roaring again to keep them warm. As he sat drying off by the fire, he watched Runa take a torn scrap of fabric to tie her now dry and wavy hair up to apply the poultice to her face wounds. 

It was the first time Kaidan had a good look at her because her thick hair always fell in her face. She couldn't have been older than nineteen-years-old. She had the bluest eyes he had ever seen, but a greenish tint like cerulean. Her eyes stood out against her black hair when it wasn't covering her face. Her nose was lovely, not too thin and beautiful cheekbones. Kaidan had a thing for noses, never knowing why. When she smiled, she had a dimple on her right cheek. Maybe there was a dimple in her left, but it the wound covered that up. And her lips were full and plump. Kaidan stopped looking, realizing how hard he stared at her, hoping she didn't notice. 

He found himself strangely drawn to her. Yes, she was beautiful, but he had seen beautiful women before. She wasn't unique in that area. But why here, now, at this moment? Maybe it was their shared danger. He pushed those thoughts away. It wasn't the time or the place for such things. 

_ I need to get her back home and then to continue on my journey. Just stop thinking about her. It will go nowhere anyway. _

When she finished applying the medicine, she headed over to sit next to him. 

"Your turn," she said. 

"No, no. Please keep it for yourself. You need it more than I." 

"Yes, very heroic of you. Kaidan, you have injuries as I do, if not more. They tore your back to ribbons, and you have been wearing armor all day that is agitating it. You _need _this medicine. Now please turn your back to me so I can apply it. And don't worry about not having enough. Arik gave me the recipe to make some more of his wonderful poultice if we have to. It's simple enough to create." 

Kaidan didn't want to turn around but forced himself. It was strange to have this woman touch his back, applying the medicine. He wasn't used to being cared for, always treating himself. Runa sat cross-legged behind him, and he could smell light lavender lingering on her skin. He watched her pick the wild lavender and rub the flower buds over her in the pond. When she touched him, it was gentle. He could tell she struggled to not hurt him. 

"By The Nine, Kaidan. Your back looks terrible! I hate to say this, but you shouldn't wear your armor for a few more days. It is agitating your skin. Let your back air dry and scab over. You back can't do that wearing armor. We need to find some way to get you a loose shirt to wear, even if we have to steal one." 

Kaidan kept silent as she gingerly applied the medicine to his back. As delicate as she was, it hurt him a great deal, like being stabbed with needles, but he didn't make a sound and never flinched. Despite the pain, her light touches gave him goosebumps down his arms. At least the medicine worked fast in easing the pain. 

When she finished, he turned back to face the fire. She too twisted to face the fire. Instead of heading back to her furs, Runa pulled up her knees, wrapped her arms around her legs, putting her head on her knees to look over at him. She looked beautiful at that moment, her skin glowing in the firelight.

"You are going to have permanent scars on your back, you know," she said. "But I guess we all are, even my face."

"I know, but there is nothing I can do about it now. It will add to my character, right?" he said, huffing out a laugh, trying to add levity to the situation, but also not wanting to talk about it. The torture was the single worst thing he had ever been through in his life, and he had some rough moments.

They sat next to each other for in silence, watching the flames dance and feeling the campfire's warmth. It was getting dark and chilly, so Runa moved back to her fur bed, draping one of her furs across her shoulders. Kaidan felt strangely alone and wished she had stayed a while longer. 

Runa had some questions for Kaidan, but if she wasn't in the mood to talk and tell her story, she was sure he wasn't either. So, they sat there in silence for a time. 

Watching the flames reminded Kaidan of all the times he went camping in the woods with Brynjar, his guardian. It was a rough life being raised by him, but there were lots of enjoyable moments too. This was like one of those moments. As they both grew tired, they laid down and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: What we do to survive.


	6. The Great Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like some good thievery to really connect with someone :)
> 
> This chapter was edited: 8/30/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3

When dawn approached, Runa and Kaidan packed up their camp, not that they had much to pack. Neither of them slept well with their wounds, so there were lots of loud yawning and stretching, trying to wake up, both of which made them smile at each other. Kaidan put out the fire while Runa packed up the backpack. She had to carry it now so Kaidan could carry his heavy armor. Since there wasn't anything to eat, their stomachs rumbled as they started their trek again towards Ivarstead. 

Their luck held out, and the morning grew too warm and bright. To keep herself distracted from the physical pain and the pain of loss, Runa hummed some tunes she knew. She wasn't a singer, but she enjoyed music. Runa didn't grow up surrounded by music, but particular songs stuck with her while she traveled with her father or brothers.

Kaidan enjoyed listening to her hum and sing a bit, surprising him when he heard her lyrical and light voice. It was the type of voice that made one feel optimistic about life, brought happiness. "You have a lovely voice. Have you ever thought about applying to the Bard's College in Solitude?"

She burst out a laugh, embarrassed. "No, I am not good enough for the Bard's College. Besides, I was just singing to annoy you. You weren't supposed to enjoy it." She teased him, but it was flattering, nonetheless. The laughing was another pleasant distraction. 

Even her laugh was lyrical. It was a merry laugh. When she laughed, her dimple appeared, and Kaidan enjoyed looking at it. The woman was suddenly full of light. _Push those thoughts out of your head. You can't afford to be thinking of her like that. Besides, you don't know her. She could be crazy. _He rationalized his thoughts away, but he couldn't help but see a different side to her, an attractive side.

Kaidan chuckled at her joke, feeling heat creep up to his face, relieved she was walking in front of him. He knew she was just teasing him, well, at least he thought she was. It was hard to tell sometimes, spending most of his life with Brynjar, who never told a joke he was aware of. 

After three hours of walking, they neared Ivarstead based on the increasing number of farms. But Ivarstead was at least another three hours away. Runa and Kaidan both agreed to knock on the first farm door they came across to try their luck at some help. They both needed some food and a tunic for Kaidan. They hoped to find someone as generous as Arik.

When the door opened, an old woman looked at their ragged, bloody appearance and Kaidan's shirtless body and slammed the door without a word or giving them a chance to talk. _ Well, so much for the generosity. _ The thought made Runa angry. They just need a bit of help! It was useless to knock again, so they moved on.

They continued to walk until they reached another farm. They were desperate for food, even if it was a small potato. Kaidan had to have something to cover his chest and back before they reached Ivarstead. It was risky because guards may view them as vagrants, and vagrants were known to steal. The last thing they needed was to end up in a jail cell.

They knocked on the next farm door, and a rotund old man with missing teeth opened the door who was not any more agreeable than the old woman. _ We must look worse than I thought. _ He shut the door in their face too, but this time Runa knocked on the door again, a little louder and harder this time, not to be deterred. These were desperate times.

"Please, sir. We just need a little help," she begged through the door. "We would accept anything at all, a small potato, anything you may have. Please, I beg you. It's been a long road, and we are struggling here, as you can very well see." 

She hated the fact that she resorted to begging. It was demeaning. She never had a need or want for anything in her life, and here she was with nothing to her name—well until she got home. Though her situation wasn't permanent, it gave her a small taste of what it felt like for those who had nothing. 

"Get off my property! I don't help vagrants! Do some honest work for once!" he yelled through the door. 

This shocked her a bit. She never interacted with the more impoverished people of Skyrim. She came to realize how her life had kept her sheltered, but she had to try once more.

"Please, kind sir. When I get home, I will repay you!" 

"Do you think me a fool, girl? Get off my property!" 

"I guess we have to try the next farm," Kaidan said.

Deflated, Runa looked around the farm and saw some clothes drying in the wind on the house's side. There had to be a shirt for Kaidan to wear. The old man seemed almost big enough for Kaidan to wear one of his shirts. _ Fine! _ Runa would not beg again. She pulled Kaidan aside and explained to him her plan. 

"Look, I don't steal. I'm not a criminal but need to get clothes on you, and we need to eat before we pass out." She looked at him with pleading eyes to not judge her. "I promise when I get home, I will compensate the man." 

"I understand. Ok, let's do this. This is for our survival, right?" Kaidan knew he would struggle to say no to those blue eyes had he wanted to. 

She nodded, pleased he agreed to the theft. "Please go down the road there and wait behind that tree next to the lamppost."

"I should do this with you, Runa. There is no sense in you stealing alone. If we get caught, let's get caught together."

"No, there is no point in both of us getting caught. It will be better if we hide you away. You can be in charge of carrying everything, so I don't have to."

In silence, she sneaked around to the side of the old farmer's house. Instead of going for the shirt first, she grabbed two carrots and potatoes from his garden and two chicken eggs. Food was more important, but she took just enough for Kaidan and her to get by, not clean the old man out of crops. So far, so good. The grumpy old farmer hadn't noticed her yet, not realizing he watched her out of his window. 

In silence, she walked up to the clothes drying, and before she grabbed the shirt, the old man caught her. "Stop right there, missy!" Runa turned around, fear knotting her stomach, to see the old man with his pitchfork pointed right at her, smiling with his toothless grin.

Without batting an eye, she yanked a shirt and a dress off the clothesline, then ran and ran. She sped down the road as fast as her legs and injuries would allow her, returning to where Kaidan hid. She knew the old man wouldn't be able to run after her. There was no way he could beat her youth and speed. That didn't stop her from looking over her shoulder just to be sure. She made a mental note to compensate the old man when she returned home, as she promised him. 

She handed the clean shirt to Kaidan, which he put on while she went into the trees to put on the clean dress. At least it wasn't covered in blood and mud. His shirt was snug, and her dress was too large, but at least they were clean, and he was no longer shirtless. Not that she minded the shirtless part. It was hard not to notice his physique while they were walking today. 

She gave Kaidan two carrots, a potato with an egg, surprised she didn't break them while running. They stuffed the carrots in their mouths and washed them down with raw egg. Eggs were better cooked, or better yet, baked in some sweet rolls, but it would have to do. The bit of food gave them just enough energy to move on. 

It wasn't the greatest heist in the history of thefts, but it was enough, and they could now make it to Ivarstead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Finally a place to rest


	7. Vilemyr Inn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little food, lots of laughter, LOTS of mead and sexual tension...what could go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> This chapter was edited: 9/12/2020

It took three long and agonizing hours for Runa and Kaidan to reach Ivarstead. It helped they had something to eat, but it was quite the journey already, and the feeling of relief as they arrived in civilization was palpable. Runa had a lot of experience in the wilderness and camping thanks to her brothers but was never so relieved to see a town. Even better? The potential to sleep in a proper bed. She was near drooling with thoughts of curling up on a mattress with blankets, not caring if they were scratchy. It was better than the leaves and hard ground. 

Walking into town, they tried to find the blacksmith and see if he would purchase their Elven ax for a few Septim, anything that would put food in their bellies and have a place to sleep. The wary travelers would worry about tomorrow later. Hopefully, what they earned would tie them over until they headed out of town again in the morning. 

They found the blacksmith pounding away on a sword lying on his anvil. The tinkling of the metal on metal always grated Runa’s teeth, hating the sound. It was one of those sounds that gave her goosebumps and sent shivers up her spine. 

Kaidan knew he had to be delicate with Runa, not wanting to offend her. “Would you mind if I handled the negotiations? I hate to say this, but I think the blacksmith will be more responsive to me... being a man and all. I’m not saying—”

Her eyes narrowed. “Why does that matter?” she asked, interrupting him. Growing up with all men in her life, she could handle her own.

“Well, it isn’t common for women to be knowledgeable with weapons and armor. You are, but... just please let me do this?” Kaidan rubbed the back of her neck, realizing he offended her though he tried not to.

She finally relented, sighed, and nodded. She just wanted a good enough price to cover their expenses for the evening. Poor Kaidan was trying to be delicate with her. He was right. Few women were as familiar with weapons and blacksmithing as men, despite the woman blacksmith in Whiterun.

Runa ambled over to a bench nearby to wait as Kaidan ran off to bring them back some gold.

When Kaidan returned thirty minutes later, he handed her a small sack of Septims. 

“Well, how much did he give us?” she asked eagerly, hefting the sack back up and down in her palm as if she was able to guess how much they earned by weight alone. “You will not make me count all these, are you?”

“He gave us 150 Septims for it,” he said with a broad smile. 

Runa was relieved, then excited. _ This was more than enough for our expenses. It was enough to buy some supplies on our way out of town! _ “Well done! This will tie us over for a couple of days.”

They hurried to Vilemyr Inn to rent a room and get some food with thoughts of warm stew, a warm fire, and a comfortable bed. 

Kaidan talked to the innkeeper to rent two rooms, but he said there was only one room available, but the bed should be large enough to hold them both. They looked at each other, both with flushed faces, agreed to pay the 45 Septims for it. It turned out the Inn also offered hot baths in the cellar. They each eagerly bought a bath, since they saved coin from paying for one room. 

“You go first, and I will grab you some food and mead. It will be here and ready for you by the time you get out,” Kaidan said. 

After dropping off their pack and armor in their room, Kaidan went to find them a place at a table to wait for their food and drinks. Runa didn’t argue with him about her bathing first and rushed off to the cellar. She wished she had clean clothes to change into, but it was better than nothing. _ This is going to be incredible, getting clean again! _

There was an old woman heating water for her bath, and they also offered some lavender-scented soap, which was a pleasant surprise. Runa stripped off her clothes after the tub filled, and quickly got into the hot steaming water, easing back with a sigh. She rushed to wash her hair and body, then laid back to relax in the water as the steam soaked into her pores and loosened her tight muscles. Runa dozed asleep before the old woman shook her, letting her know that her time was up. 

She put on her ill-fitting dress, then Runa used the looking glass to fix her hair best to her abilities. This time she did a braid on the right side of her head. Her long wavy bangs fell on either side of her face, but mostly to the left. Her untamable hair usually frustrated her, but now she used it to cover up the wounds on her face. Satisfied, she headed up the stairs, eager to eat a hearty meal, a hand to her stomach as it growled and complained at her.

When she reached the table, she saw Kaidan ordered her a meat pie and mead as he excused himself to go down and bathe. She shoveled the meat pie in her mouth as if it was her first time eating, ignoring all semblance of manners and politeness. Runa was starving and didn’t care if everyone else thought she ate like a deranged troll. The food was delicious, filled with rabbit, potatoes, and carrots in a flaky crust. Then she cleaned her mouth with the mead, feeling like an average human again.

After Kaidan finished his bath, he talked to the innkeeper for a special request. He wanted to get Runa a sweet roll and two more tankards of mead. She mentioned how she loved them more than once, so much so, he would never forget. She talked about the creamy icing she would lick from her fingers, pulling apart the warm, buttery baked dough and shove it in her mouth. The woman had a way of describing it that left him wondering if she was talking about food at all. He sat down and presented her with a sweet roll on a plate. She looked at him wide-eyed, then a devilish grin played on her face. 

“Shor’s Beard! How... how did you know I love these?” she asked, shoving a bite into her mouth, eyes closed, groaning in pleasure.

“Oh, I don’t know. You never mentioned it about twenty times or more while we were on the road. I admit, I lost count after a while,” he said with a smile, then laughed out loud watching her devour it. 

Runa sensed the heat creeping up her face, but the sweet roll distracted from her embarrassment—well, mostly. “I certainly did not!” she said, uncharacteristically, with her mouth full.

“Yes, you’re right... it was twenty-eight times,” he quipped. “I stand corrected, milady.”

“Oh, now you are just teasing me,” she huffed, but then laughed. “Well, well, well… Kaidan has a sense of humor. Here I was thinking you didn’t even know how to laugh.” 

Kaidan scoffed at her. “I laugh.” 

“Prove it, Mr. Sense of Humor. Do you know any jokes?” 

“I know _of _them,” he said in mock offense, but his mouth twitched in a smile.

“Tell me a joke, then.”

“Ugh, Fine. What do you get between a joke and a rhetorical question?” 

“No idea. What do you get?” 

Kaidan stared at her, a blank look on his face. 

Runa raised an eyebrow, waiting on the punchline, but he continued to stare silently. 

Suddenly Runa burst out laughing. “Oh, I get it!”

“I’m glad my joke didn’t run flat,” he said, smiling, relief that he pulled it off on his face. 

“Oh, no. It ran flat, my friend,” she said, still laughing. 

“Then, why are you laughing?” 

“You should see your face so full of hope that your joke was funny,” she explained, wiping away tears from laughter. “I’m sorry, but I stand corrected, sir, you are funny. I bow down to your infinite humor. Really, please… I ban you from making any more jokes.”

Kaidan folded his arms, scoffing. “Well, I would like to see_ you _tell a joke, then.” 

“Oh, no. I don’t tell jokes. My sense of humor is the more of the situational and spontaneous type… kind of like now.” 

Runa looked down to take another bite of sweet roll, shoving the remaining piece in her mouth, then looked sheepishly at him, realizing she ate the whole dessert without sharing. “I’m so very sorry, did you want some?” she asked with her mouth full. 

Kaidan barked out a laugh. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” That was fun. It was rare he laughed that much, and he liked it. It was easy to talk to Runa, especially with food in their bellies, relaxed. She wasn’t bad to look at either.

It was a wonderful evening full of excellent food, laughter, music, and mead. Runa was a slightly light-headed and tipsy from the alcohol. She wanted to familiarize herself more with her protector. Kaidan looked handsome with his clean-shaven face, and clean hair pulled back into a half knot-type bun while letting the rest of his hair spill across his shoulders..._ and those red eyes! _

She stared at him with her chin resting on her hand. “So, Kaidan, where are you from? You’re definitely not a Nord. I have never seen eyes like that on any Nord,” she asked bluntly. “My father forced me to read many books, but not once did I ever hear mention of someone like you in my studies.” 

“No, I am not a Nord, though I do not know what I am for certain,” he said a bit uncomfortably, squirming in his seat. He didn’t enjoy talking about himself; in fact, he loathed it.

“So, you’re unfamiliar with whom you are or what your race?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, her interest piqued. 

“No, I don’t know why I look the way I do, or who my family is or where I came from,” he said defensively. 

“I’m sorry, Kaidan, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to get to know you since we are traveling together.” Runa must have said something wrong, but she didn’t know what. She looked away, taking another sip of mead to mask her embarrassment. 

“No, it’s OK. I... well, it’s why I’m here in Skyrim. I’m just not used to talking about myself. I set out to find more about my family and where I came from. My travels led me here. I have been doing bounty work to help pay for my expenses as I searched.”

He drew his sword and handed it to her. “The only clue I have is my sword, and, as I told you before, it is the reason the Thalmor captured me. There is strange writing on the blade, or runes—something that gave the Thalmor too much interest in me.”

Runa inspected the beautifully curved sword, noting the strange markings he showed her. The runes or writing looked vaguely familiar to her, but she didn’t know from where. 

“I was walking to Winterhold College to see if they had any information about what the writing was on my sword. I don’t much care for mages, but the College of Winterhold has the biggest library in Skyrim, probably in all of Tamriel. If anyone has answers, they would.”

Runa handed his sword back. “Whatever it is, it’s beautiful. Sorry, continue, please.”

“One early evening, I came across two Thalmor while walking in my travels. I paid no mind to them and kept on walking, but they appeared to have a keen interest in me. They stopped me and said that my sword was fascinating and asked to inspect it. I thanked them, but told them no and moved on my way, not trusting the Altmer. That night at camp, several Thalmor ambushed me. They must have followed me and waited to take my sword. They had me bound before I could do anything, using some paralysis spell on me.” 

“That’s downright terrifying. So, it was your sword they were interested in?” Runa asked.

Kaidan’s face turned hard, eyes narrowed in horrible memories. He looked down at his drink, not meeting her eyes. “No, not until later. It took about two days to travel, bound, to the abandoned prison. There they... tortured me and beat me to get answers about my sword for who knows how long—answers I didn’t have. They didn’t believe me and beat me more. Well, you saw what they did. They mentioned something about dragons returning, and my sword had some connection to that. I was delirious with pain half the time… you’re familiar with the rest of the story,” he finished. He chugged down the rest of his mead as if he could swallow away the pain and memories, angry now.

Runa reached over and grabbed one of his hands. “I’m so very sorry, Kai.” 

_ ‘Kai.’ _ He liked how she said his name and softened somewhat. No one ever called him Kai before, not even Brynjar. His mother might have once upon a time. He also enjoyed holding her hand as she gripped his fingers in empathy.

“So, now you need to find the meaning of your sword to help you find out where you come from, is that correct?” she asked. 

“Aye, that’s the gist of it. I believe if I find out more about my sword, I might find who my mother was and where I came from. She was the one who left it to me. I never knew her, and my sword is the only connection to her I have.” When she removed her hand, his own hand felt cold and alone, but he didn’t reach for her.

She looked at him for what seemed like a long time with penetrating blue eyes, then she stood to sit next to him. “I can help you, Kai. Let me help you find out about your sword and your mother. I have gold at home and plenty of books. Maybe we can find some information together. I have no plans beyond getting home.” The sudden thought of her being alone without her family made her visibly upset. Runa wasn’t ready to face that. Kaidan’s search would be an excellent distraction. She was smart enough to know she had to grieve, but she wanted to push it away for now. If she gave into the pain, it would break her.

Kaidan could see the pain in her eyes that came out of nowhere. “Hey, are you OK? I’ve been rambling about myself and forgot you’ve been through a lot too.”

She recovered and just nodded her head. “Seriously, I can do this. Let me help,” she said, deflecting from herself.

Kaidan stared at her, overwhelmed with appreciation from this woman who barely knew him. Not only did she save his life, but now she was willing to help him solve his puzzle. He tried not to look down, but her dress was too loose on the top, her corset untied because of her stomach wound. Her porcelain white skin of her cleavage peeking through, and he wanted to reach out to touch it—to see if it was as soft as it looked. He coughed away his behavior, turning from her, eyes glued back on his now empty mead bottle. _ For her to offer this to me was too much. _ Kaidan could never ask her to do such a thing, but it made him drawn to her. Or maybe it was all the mead he had. It was hard to tell. His head _was _slightly spinning. 

He looked back at her, unable to resist reaching out, but only to move her long wavy bangs out of her face, tucking the hair behind her ear. Foolishly, he gently touched her face where the wounds were already healing. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

“You are so...,” he said but stopped himself. “No, I couldn’t ask you to do that.” Kaidan abruptly stood before she grabbed his arm to pull him back down. 

They looked intensely at each other, feeling like an eternity before they turned away with reluctance. Runa turned to straddle the bench, facing him, moving closer. Her head was swimming from all the mead and but she didn’t want to stop, so she crept closer. He didn’t stop her either, watching, waiting to see what she was up to.

Runa stopped only when their faces were only inches apart. Kaidan could feel her breath on his face, smelling like sugar and mead, and that scent of intoxicating lavender made him close his eyes. He inhaled deeply as he moved his face to hers, to kiss her…_ No, I can’t do this. I shouldn’t do this. _ He stopped himself and stood to inform her they should go to sleep. It was getting late. He explained he would sleep on the floor so she could have the bed. 

Once they were in the room with the door locked, and most of the crowd had moved on home, Runa faced Kaidan. “What was that, Kai?” she asked, hands on hips, frustrated. “I don’t appreciate the back and forth—that ‘should I, shouldn’t I’ act.”

He scratched his head, also frustrated, messing up his hair. “I... I don’t know. It’s the sugar and lavender and, and... I am just tired. I would like to not talk anymore if that’s OK.” He sat down on the only chair in the room, deflated, rubbing his face.

“It’s alright, we don’t have to talk. I can see it frustrates you. But I am going to make you do one thing you will not like. You are not sleeping on the floor. There is enough room in the bed for both of us. After everything we have been through, we both deserve a comfortable bed to sleep in for at least one night. Please?” 

Kaidan nodded, agreeing, though he was reluctant. Runa crawled into the bed on one side, and he on the other. She drew the covers over her, rolled on her side facing him, dozed off, falling asleep in no time from the exertion of the past couple of days, and too much mead swimming in her head. 

Kaidan wasn’t so lucky. He laid on his back in bed, smelling her lavender skin and watching her sleep. Her face was showing signs of light freckles from traveling in the sun. It was adding to her beauty, not taking away. _ What am I doing? I can’t get close to her. _ It wasn’t fair for her or for him. They barely knew each other. Besides, based on how she talks, it appears she is wealthy, at least more than he is. 

Blissful sleep finally took ahold of him as he slept a deep, dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Holed up during a snow storm.


	8. Heading Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa and Kaidan leave Ivarstead to continue on their journey to bring Runa home, but they are forced to find shelter as a snow storm hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> This chapter was edited: 9/12/2020

Runa woke in the early morning hours to Kaidan sleeping on his side facing her, a soft snore coming from him. Light slivered in through the curtained windows, giving her just enough to see. She stared at him, listening to him lightly breathe, looking at his unique features. He looked relaxed, at ease.

She lifted her hand and traced his shoulder, down his arm with her gentle fingertips. Her eyes trailed after her fingers going over the tight lumps of his muscles. The attraction for him didn't take long. After a rocky start, they worked well together. It was easy to talk to him. There was a slight worry about it, and Runa thought it was the mead from the night before, but she woke up this morning clear-headed, feeling the same way. 

She only knew him for three days now, and the situation life thrust on them might have been part of it. Runa was naïve in the ways of attraction and love but knew enough to know she didn't want to fall for her 'protector' just because he saved her life. But she couldn't deny there was something between them. She knew he saw it too, catching him looking at her in a certain way last night. Then there was the near kiss—she wanted it. Looking up to his face, shock hit her, realizing he was watching her. Runa yanked her hand away with heat burning her face. 

"I... I..." She didn't know what to say, stammering and blushing. 

Kaidan didn't take his sleepy eyes off of her. A small smile tugged at his lips. "You snore, you know."

As if she wasn't embarrassed enough, the heat on her face spread to her ears and down her neck and chest. Scrambling out of bed, Runa got up and rummaged around the room, not sure what to do, looking for anything to escape the humor in his eyes. The moment dawned on her, she had to use the privy, a good excuse as any to leave, fleeing out the door.

Kaidan held back the laugh that was threatening to escape him, for her benefit more than his. Laughter would have made the situation worse for her, and he wasn't that cruel. But that didn't stop him from having a bit of fun with her.

After breakfast, they purchased food and some supplies for the road. They had a few Septims left to save in case they needed it and headed back out on the road for their long journey to Whiterun. Outside the inn, Runa looked up at the sky. She knew their pleasant weather might not hold out. Growing up in Skyrim, she understood that the weather could spin into a bitter snowstorm or a torrential downpour. 

Kaidan and Runa left Ivarstead behind them and headed South. They would then cut over through the mountain pass heading East, then slightly North. Kaidan noted the gray clouds in the sky with dread, dampening his mood. He hoped it would not rain or snow because they would have to find some shelter and further delay their journey. 

Not an hour passed by before they saw the fall of the first few snowflakes. _ Dammit. _ The travelers quickened their pace to make it as far as they could before having to find shelter. The temperature plummeted, so they stopped for a minute to pull out two furs to wrap around themselves, not having cloaks.

After two hours into their journey, the snowfall thickened with no signs of letting up. The falling snow quickly covered the road. Their pace quickened as they searched for signs of shelter, like a cave or an abandoned tent. It didn't take long to stumble to an old shack. It was better than a tent with more protection, and it wasn't a cave filled with unknown dangers. 

Despite the abandoned feel of the place, they knocked on the door, making sure they were not intruding on someone's home. No answer. Kaidan knocked again, but still, no one came to the door. He didn't hesitate, using his strong shoulder to burst the door open as the hinges protested under the rust. The shack was empty, confirming its abandonment. It may have once belonged to a mage, for there were jars of herbs and other ingredients on some rickety shelves and an old alchemy table tucked in the corner. But there were no personal effects to show that anyone lived there any longer. The shuttered windows from the wind and leak-free roof from melted snow were all they needed.

Kaidan didn't hesitate to start a fire as the temperature dropped to freezing. The small size of the shack allowed it to heat quickly. It wasn't too long ago they ate back in Ivarstead, so they conserved their food and sat in two old, rickety chairs by the fire to get warm. 

The mage left behind a few books, so Runa and Kaidan each grabbed one to read to pass the time, not knowing how long they were going to be stuck. Runa read "Herbalist's Guide to Skyrim" by Agneta Falia, something her father made her read several times over already. Kaidan read "De Rerum Dirennis" by Vorian Direnni.

"Apparently, our friend was an alchemist," Runa said, tossing aside her book, bored and grabbed another.

"Aye, it would seem. I know nothing of alchemy."

It wasn't often Kaidan read, but found his book as dull as Runa found hers, so he set it aside, watching her read instead. She was much more interesting than plants. Runa sat there, legs curled underneath her, fingers twirling a strand of hair as she nibbled on her bottom lip. He smiled, watching her cover her face with the book. She was still embarrassed about that morning. Yes, she was definitely more interesting than plants.

Runa didn't notice him staring at her since she used her book to hide and not face what happened. She shouldn't have touched him like that. It was inappropriate. Kaidan catching her touch him was even worse. He didn't seem to mind not talking about it since he had mentioned nothing, but her embarrassment remained, though it probably wasn't healthy to call herself stupid every five minutes.

As evening approached and darkness crept in, the snow didn't appear to stop anytime soon, so Kaidan lit the few candles left behind, giving the small house a warm glow. Runa decided it was as good a time as any to eat and pulled out a few food items they bought at the inn to eat and some mead to drink for dinner. She handed Kaidan a cold slice of meat pie wrapped in some waxed cloth and a mead bottle while she too ate a piece of meat pie. 

With not much else to do, the best thing was to sleep early so they could get an early start in the morning as long as it stopped snowing. The light snowfall was fine. As they crawled into the bed, they realized it was smaller than the one at the Inn. Both of them moving around to get comfortable.

"You take it, I can sleep on the floor or in a chair," Kaidan insisted. 

"Nonsense, we can squeeze in here. It will be fine… cozy, even. Besides, we can use our body heat to keep us warm tonight when the fire goes out," she suggested. 

Runa didn't have some other motives for this, at least that's what she told herself. She was still embarrassed by what happened that morning and wanted them to be warm. It would freeze in the morning when the fire went out. 

Reluctantly he agreed though he wondered if he could stop himself this time being so close to her. Kaidan thought a lot about the way she looked at him, touched him this morning. He teased her about it, but he enjoyed it. He couldn't deny the attraction he had for her, but he couldn't let it happen.

They crawled into the small bed and draped several furs over themselves. It was so little; Kaidan had to wrap her in his arms around her as she draped her legs over his so they wouldn't fall out of the bed. _ Well, this will undoubtedly keep us warm. And, damn, she still has that faint smell of lavender. _ Maybe this wasn't the best idea, though she felt lovely in his arms.

Runa's hair fell in her face, as usual, so he moved the thick wavy strands out of her eyes so he could look into them. He could get lost in those cerulean eyes. And the way she was looking at him stopped his heart. No, she wasn't looking at him. She was staring at his lips. There was only one reason for her to keep her eyes focused there.

She looked at him back, no longer embarrassed, but her stomach fluttered, painfully so, not knowing why. Runa wasn't sure what that meant, but it didn't feel bad either. Snuggled into Kaidan stirred something in her, and she wanted to kiss him. Perhaps because they were holding each other tightly.

He moved his lips close to her face and kissed her forehead. Kaidan told himself it was just to say goodnight, but he was lying to himself. He knew holding her like this, he would have a hard time resisting her. Then the disappointment in her eyes that he kissed her head instead of her lips almost broke him.

Runa would not settle for a head kiss as a parent might. She closed her eyes, reaching for his mouth as he moved his lips down to kiss her nose's tip. It made her smile, but she wanted more.

There was no turning back as he crept down to her chin and planted a kiss there too. Then over to her dimpled right cheek—another kiss. 

Her stomach wasn't just fluttering now, it was doing somersaults, causing her breath to hitch and her heart pumped a little faster. She could also feel her hands turn clammy. Runa never kissed a man before, but she knew she didn't want him to stop. Her eyes were still closed, and her lips parted for the inevitable...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Bandits


	9. Trouble with Bandits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It would seem the little was coveted by more than just Kaidan and Runa during the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual assault, attempted rape, and violence in this chapter.
> 
> This chapter was edited: 9/14/2020

A loud crash blasted through the small home, causing Runa and Kaidan to bolt out of bed, on guard. The first thoughts running through Runa's mind was that a bear got in to escape the storm, her heart raced in palpitations from the noise, skin pimpled from freezing as the wind blew in from the open door. Her rambling thoughts turned clear, then to dread when she saw four bandits enter their little shack. She knew nothing good was going to happen.

Kaidan, with quick reflexes, rushed to get his sword propped next to the bed, but he wasn't fast enough as a bandit closest to him drew his blade against Kaidan's throat.

"I don't think so, big guy," the bandit tsked, smiling, his teeth yellowed, some missing. His scraggly dark beard had seen better days.

Runa inched as far back as possible against the wall, her instinct set to flight, but she had nowhere to go. She had to clear head and steady her heart if she wanted to find an escape and a way out of their troubling situation. But she only found fear, adrenaline coursing through her. Her mind raced through different scenarios, none of them with good.

"Here I thought this was an abandoned shack for my friends and me, then come to find you two lying here all peaceful like. And my mind thought, they have some nice shiny things they wouldn't mind sharing with the rest of us." The bandit grinned at Runa with his disgusting teeth, implying she was the 'nice shiny thing,' to be shared. The rest of his friends laughed along, all with swords drawn. 

Kaidan assumed the bandit doing all the talking was the leader, struggling to find a way to get the knife off his throat and kill him.

"And I think I will take that, thank you," the bandit leader said as he grabbed Kaidan's sword, whistling. "Look here, boys. We got ourselves a fancy sword." 

Tossing the sword to one of his buddies, who caught it midair, the leader grabbed the crouching Kaidan, easing him up to stand while keeping the knife close to his throat. Then he gripped Kaidan's arm, pulling it behind his back with force, never letting the knife drop from his throat.

The movement must have nicked Kaidan's as Runa saw blood dripping down his throat, knowing it injured him, but his face only conveyed anger. 

While Runa was distracted with Kaidan's bleeding, one of the other bandits drew his attention to her with her male friend now under control. He was greasy, filthy, with teeth just as disgusting. His balding head had long and stringy hair trailing down and over his shoulders. It wasn't his looks as much as the leering at her body that had Runa worrying. 

"It looks like we have some entertainment for tonight, boys. Nothing like some excellent entertainment for cold, stormy evenings."

If Runa's heart wasn't pumping before, it was then as it tried to tear from her chest. She tried to shrink, making herself as small as possible, but she knew enough of the world that their form of entertainment would be raping her. Runa was not about to let that happen. She would die trying. She had to just find her feet and move, but the fear kept her from fleeing.

Kaidan tried to move and kill them all, but the bandit holding him held fast, digging in deeper with the dagger. Several scenarios were coursing through his head about what they planned to do with Runa, none of them boding well. _ I have to get us out of this. _ He seethed in anger, hating his impotence, unable to protect Runa. He was failing in his vow to her. No, he had to force himself to breathe, get it under control, and think with a clear head. For now, he was unable to move; the knife too close to his throat. He wouldn't be able to help her if he was dead. Kaidan bid his time, waiting for an opportunity, reminding himself there were worse situations he found himself in, but it was the first time he had someone else to protect and watch over.

He saw the angry tears spilling down Runa's face, which made him even more furious… _Breathe. Breathe and wait. _

_ "There is always an opportunity to get out of tough situations, but you need to have a clear head and control your emotions, boy." Brynjar's _words filled his mind, his voice scolding Kaidan. Brynjar used to tell him those words when they sparred with swords, Kaidan getting frustrated that Brynjar won every time. Kaidan eventually listened and defeated Brynjar.

As Stringy Hair Bandit, Runa had taken to calling him, approached her, smirk on his face, she shrank away, making the rest of the bandits howl with laughter. She was embarrassed, angry at herself as her tears pooled down her face. There was nowhere else to go when Stringy Hair fisted her hair, shoving his face in her neck, inhaling her flesh. Runa's stomach roiled, smelling his stink, turning her face away.

"Mmm, this one here smells mighty good, boys," said Stringy Hair. With surprising speed, he yanked Runa up and threw her on her back on the bed. He was stronger than he looked. She fought and clawed at him while he tore open the top of her dress, spilling out her full breasts. Before she had a chance to react, he was on top of her, lifting her skirts and pulling out his hard cock. 

"No, no! Stop! Please…," she sobbed as she struggled, knowing deep down her pleas fell on deaf ears.

"No! I will kill you all!" Kaidan growled at the bandit who tried to rape Runa. He had never felt so helpless in all his life, unable to imagine what was working through Runa's mind. He had to do something, anything.

"Oh, you will not do any such thing. You are going to watch us take turns having fun with your lady friend. We are going to fuck her over and over, and there is not a damned thing you can do about it," the leader said.

The other bandits laughed at Kaidan's outburst, then their attention drew to Runa, eager for their turn. Soon he noticed the knife on his throat eased up as the bandit leader became distracted by Runa's assault. 

Before Stringy Hair was able to penetrate Runa, he flew off of her in the air as if by magic, his body slamming hard against the wooden walls. It broke his body, killing him. Runa didn't hesitate to grab her dagger from her belt, lunging at the bandit closest to her, screaming. She jumped on top of him as she stabbed him over and over in the throat. 

This was all Kaidan needed to break out of the hold the bandit leader had on him. The leader and remaining bandit stood in shock, watching Runa stab their friend, distracted, jaws dropped. It would have been comical in any other situation. Kaidan slammed the back of his head into the bandit leader's nose, twisted his body while disarming him of his knife, and threw it at the remaining bandit, hitting him in the eye, killing him. Kaidan then grabbed the leader in a firm chokehold, lifting him in the air, feet dangling, as he squeezed the life out of him, growling in his anger. He dropped the dead man, letting him crumble to the ground. He rushed to Runa, who was still stabbing the second bandit on the floor, unable to stop herself.

"Shh, shh. It's over now, Runa. It's over," he whispered as he pulled the dagger from her grasp with care. He then pulled the torn and bloodied top of her dress over her shoulders, closing it the best he could. Kaidan pulled her into him, holding her for as long as he let him. Runa was stiff, unmoving, silent. She was in shock. It took a few minutes before she melted into his arms and sobbed.

What was that shout she did? How did she throw the bandit off of her with that noise? He had so many questions, but it had to wait. Kaidan had to calm her and get the placed cleaned up.

Runa wept and wept. Everything that happened to her the past several days culminated and tore down her delicate walls she struggled to build and cried—losing her father and brothers, her prison escape, Kaidan choking her, being stabbed, almost drowned and dying of exposure, now the attempted rape and sexual assault. All of it. It was too much, and it broke her. 

She let Kaidan hold her, not knowing why because she didn't want anyone to touch her, but she was unable to move. The sobbing was too much as she gasped for breath. Runa would have crumbled to the ground had Kaidan not been holding her up. 

What just happened to her and her breakdown tore at Kaidan. He swallowed hard, sensing her emotional pain, unable to imagine what was running through her mind. All he knew was that he had to hold her and never let her go, but he had to. The little shack was a gory mess, but they couldn't leave either in the raging snowstorm. Kaidan pulled Runa away after her crying calmed down and put her by the fire in a chair, pulling a pelt of fur over her.

Kaidan then removed the bodies and dumped them outside, far enough away from the shack to let the animals feast on them. When he came back in, stamping snow off his boots, shivering from the cold and snow, he salvaged two furs with minimal blood on them. He laid one down on the floor next to the fire and returned to Runa. 

"Runa?" he said, placing a hand on her tangled fingers in her lap. She stared at the fire from her chair, unresponsive. Runa stopped crying for now, but Kaidan needed to get the bloody clothes off her and wash them. Kaidan knew enough that she would not want to wear that dress covered with her assaulters' blood. 

He squatted down to look up at her in the eyes to get her attention. "Do you trust me?" he asked. Runa looked down at him, teary-eyed. She nodded her head. "I need you to get out of this dress and clean you up, OK? Then I will wash the dress for you as best I can. Can we do that?" Her nod was so slight, he wondered if he saw movement at all. 

Kaidan didn't know how it would work when Runa stood up, slipped the dress off her shoulders, and let it fall to the floor, uncaring. Kaidan rushed to drape the fur around her shoulders and covered her up as best he could and moved her on the floor in front of the fire he brought back to life to keep warm. Her trembling was visible. He wasn't sure if it was from the cold or shock—probably both. 

He found an old iron pot and filled it with snow, then hung it over the fire to melt and heat enough, so it wasn't scalding. Kaidan didn't want to burn her skin. He poured some warm water into a bucket, bringing it next to Runa with an old piece of cloth, wetting it, and wiping away the blood from her face. But she grabbed his hand for him to stop. "I can do it," she whispered and cleaned the blood from her body. 

He nodded, grabbed her dress, threw it into the pot, and his own tunic, which got covered in blood when he held her, and from the cut on his throat. As the water boiled, he let their clothes soak out the blood. When they soaked long enough, he pulled them out with a large stick, allowing them to cool down. Once they were cool enough, Kaidan scrubbed them as much as possible. There was no soap, so they would not be the cleanest. They were still stained after all the scrubbing, but it wasn't obvious the stains were blood. He wrung out the water and hung them up over a chair by the fire to dry. With the clothes done, he set out to clean the blood off the floor and walls. 

After he finished, he looked around to make sure the small house had minimal traces of the assault. Kaidan then pulled out two bottles of mead from their bag, handing her one. "Would you like a drink?" 

Runa shook her head no, so he sat down by the fire with her. He chugged down the mead in a few gulps from all the stress and nerves. He opened the one she didn't want and took more time drinking the second one. _ What do I do now? _ Keeping busy cleaning made him feel like he accomplished something—being useful, but now he felt useless, not knowing what else to do for her.

Runa finished cleaning herself and sat by the fire, staring into nothingness. Her fur slipped off her shoulder, so Kaidan eased it back on. _ What was wrong with me! Surely, I can think of something to say to her _ —_something wise, anything. _ It worried him he might say the wrong thing. Several questions ran through Kaidan's mind, but he knew enough to know it wasn't the time. 

But the guilt tore at him enough to give him the courage to talk to her. "I'm so sorry I let you down, Runa. I was too slow and didn't react fast enough." Kaidan looked away from her, running a hand through his thick, dark hair in frustration. He felt like an utter failure after his promises to get her home in one piece.

Runa turned away from the fire to look at him, tears spilling down her face again. She reached out to touch his face with delicate fingers. "Kaidan, you are my hero. You saved me many times over. And here, I thought, I could actually get home on my own. What a fool I was. A naïve fool." 

The thought she could reach out to him with kindness, appreciating his efforts instead of condemning him, left him speechless.

Runa removed her hand, eyes back to the fire. "No, it's not just what happened to me tonight that has me the way I am, though it is a big part of it. Everything just came… crashing down. And… I think there is something wrong with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Runa unleashes everything.


	10. Runa's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her assault, Runa opens up about what happened to her family and why she was in that prison in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> This chapter was edited: 9/14/2020

Runa's mother died giving birth to her, who was a surprise since her mother thought she was too old to have any more children. The night Runa was born on one of the worst storms of the year. When she came into the world, her mother couldn't stop bleeding. There were no healers that could make it out in time to save her mother. Her father named her Runa Storm-Bringer because of that night. So Runa grew up motherless, raised by her father and three brothers who never faulted her for their mother's death. They all loved sweet Runa. 

The only thing Runa knew about her mother was that she was exceptional with a bow and taught her sons how to hunt, just like her father did before her. Runa was told she looked just like her. Her father, Ivar Bjornson, was a mage who came from a long line of wealth. He was also a principal adviser of the arcane to the Emperor himself. Her father wasn't much of a hunter, but he was a world traveler. He met her mother during one of his trips. Because her mother didn't come from wealth, their marriage was ripe with gossip. But it didn't matter to her parents. They loved each other very much. They raised their children with their two different backgrounds, so that wasn't usual from those born of noble birth. 

Balen was 15 years old when Runa was born, and the most senior of her three brothers. Baldr came next at age 12, and the youngest brother was Tabor at 10 years old. All three brothers vowed to take care of their youngest sister to make sure she grew up to be a strong Nord. Runa's family had servants to care for her, but the brothers never hesitated to help feed her, change her, play with her, and hold her. 

Balen surpassed their mother with the bow and dagger, so he took Runa out to hunt small game as soon as she could hold a weapon. He wanted to teach her all their mother taught him. Runa was a quick study growing up to be an excellent marksman—almost as good as Balen and her mother. She didn't care for the close and personal dagger, but Balen trained her anyway. 

_ "You never know when you might need that dagger, Runa. One day you will find you are too close to your enemy to pull up your bow and shoot on time. You will be thankful you have that knife." _

Baldr, the only mage of the three brothers, taking after their father. His dream was to study from the greatest mages of all time at the College of Winterhold. While he waited for entry, his father trained him to the best of his ability when he wasn't working or traveling. Runa wasn't a mage, but even non-magical people were able to learn a spell or two, so Baldr taught her the basics like the Flame and Frostbite spells. 

_ "You may find yourself with no weapons. At least you will have your hands to fend off an enemy. With fire, you can burn them. With frostbite, you can freeze them long enough to either kill them or escape." _

Tabor was exceptional at dual-wielding one-handed weapons. Though he was the youngest of the three brothers, he was the largest as they grew to be adults. He had her practicing on straw-filled dummies daily until Runa built up muscle to handle the two weapons at once, though she was never big enough to wield a great-sword. Tabor also trained her in one-handed weapons while using a spell on her other hand. 

_ "You will really surprise your enemy when you pull out two weapons. They will have a hard time fighting two of you instead of one. A shield is good protection, but it is cumbersome. The two weapons will allow for more agility." _

In all her years of training with her brothers it made her an exceptional fighter compared to women and many men. But the brothers didn't spend all their time training her. They all loved each other too. They had many joyous adventures, explorations, pranks, laughter, and typical sibling fighting. 

Runa's father educated her, making her read every single morning after breakfast and before bed. Runa read everything from gardening healing plants to history and fictional stories. Some books were more interesting than others. There were days she would have instead taken her wooden sword to practice sword fighting. Runa must have complained with frequency because her father lectured most days about keeping her mind sharp and focused. 

_ "One day, you will find yourself in a tough situation that you can't get out of, and your intelligent mind will be the only weapon you have, my child." _

When Runa reached 15 years old, her father hired a woman to come to live with them. She was to teach Runa how to be a lady. By that time, her brothers moved on to find their own adventures, make their own home, or find marriage. Her father wasn't ready to marry her off, but he wanted to make sure she was a lady and not one of the boys. Runa resisted at first. She didn't want to learn to do her hair or how to make soap or sew. She was more boy than girl by the time her brothers moved out.

_ "Runa, you need to learn to take care of your body. Beauty can be power. It can be used to sway others." _

It didn't take long for Alva to become a close confidant, and someone Runa was able to talk to about things she couldn't with her brothers or father. Eventually, she came to love Alva, almost as much as a mother. 

Runa was so lost in her story about her family, she didn't notice how close Kaidan was sitting, holding her hand, gently rubbing her fingertips. She was oblivious to the light tears running down her face, or if she noticed them, she did nothing to wipe them away.

"Something terrible happened, didn't it, Runa?" 

Runa nodded. She struggled to believe it happened only a week ago that she lost her entire family. Reports indicated some flying monsters close to Helgen in the mountains. Her father scarcely believed it and wanted to see if the stories were true. He called in his sons, and they all made plans for 'the adventure of a lifetime,' as her father called it. "It has to be a dragon! They have returned!"

No one believed him because dragons since long extinct, some saying they were only legends. But everyone was eager to have the family reunited and go on another one of their adventures. They packed up for a quick trip as Helgen was only a few days from Whiterun. Her father hired several guards and servants to help carry all the supplies they needed and protect them during their trip. Runa waved goodbye to Alva, who stayed behind, as they headed out to find themselves a dragon. 

Runa was just excited to see her brothers again. It had been almost a year since she saw any of them, and she missed them. Her brothers saw she had grown up to be a beautiful young woman and were glad they had spent as much time training her as they did. They told her she would have to fend off many suitors since they wouldn't be there to protect her. But she intimidated most of the men, rarely was she approached by them or shown any interest in her. That was what Alva told her, anyway.

After three days, they reached Helgen. It was an old town and fort run by the Imperials. Her father stated excitedly that not only were there sightings of a dragon, but the Imperials had caught Ulfric Stormcloak, the Jarl of Windhelm himself, the leader of the Stormcloak Rebellion. His capture would stop the Civil War in its tracks. 

Politics didn't interest Runa, but she understood her father loved a good political game. He was a staunch supporter of the Empire. Though her father sympathized with the Nords and their loss of their god, Talos, he also felt it was a suitable compromise to keep the peace. Better the loss of a human god than senseless death, though secretly, they did still worship the Nine, not the Eight. Besides, the Stormcloaks were racists, treating the Dunmer like vermin, keeping them in terrible living conditions. 

_ "This is a nation of many races, and that will never change, so we should try to live together in peace." _

After reaching Helgen, her father met with some Imperial leaders asking about the dragon and Ulfric. They confirmed there were signs of a dragon nearby. They also informed her father they would soon execute Ulfric Stormcloak if he and his family would like to stay to witness it. Runa's father agreed and let his family know that they were about to see the rebellion's end.

The soldiers pulled Ulfric out of his cell, and Runa saw they had his mouth gagged, but not the other prisoners. Runa watched the bear of a man in noble clothes holding his head high, preparing for his death and entry into Sovngarde. As the soldiers had Ulfric kneel, putting his on into the block, a loud roar came down from the mountain and massive fiery explosions. It happened so fast that Runa just stood there frozen. 

A dragon had landed on top of a tower, blasting the Imperial soldiers with fire. Runa's father yelled at her to run, which finally mobilized her. She and her family ran out of the entry gate, straight to where his guards and servants set up camp, hoping the dragon wouldn't follow. 

Several Thalmor Justiciar followed them to the camp to escape instead of helping to fight the dragon. _ Cowards! _ Runa heard the dragon roar as it was being shot with arrow after arrow, men screaming from being burned alive. Runa covered her ears from the onslaught of noise, terrifying her. Then there was only silence. The dragon was dead. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief, sitting down, bodies shaking, to relax. 

That is when all of Oblivion broke loose. It wasn't the failed execution or the dragon. Runa felt this tugging and pushing sensation, surrounded by a strange light. She felt the warmth of it as it traveled through her very soul as she looked down to watch the peculiar light swirl around her. Everyone stared at her in shock as she glowed. It wasn't just her hands glowing, but her entire body. Then it stopped just as quickly as it began. 

Everyone was still looking at her, watching. The Thalmor were more intrigued than afraid, with knowing faces. It happened before anyone could react. They turned and began slaughtering everyone in sight by using their powerful magic. They killed everyone from the servants to the guards without so much as a thought. 

Runa's brothers weren't so easy to take down, but one by one, they fell. Runa was in shock. She scarcely remembered the details—she didn't want to remember the details. Then the terror from all the deaths hit her and just started shouting 'Fus' at the Thalmor. It came out of nowhere in her horror and grief, unable to control it, but it sent them flying into the air. Not long after, blackness reached her. It wasn't until she woke up in the prison that the Thalmor hit her over the head.

"You know the rest of my story. I wasn't sure what the Thalmor wanted from me or why I was still alive until I remembered what happened to me after the dragon died. Ever since then, I have tried to put up a wall. If I thought about my brothers and father, I would break. I had to be strong, so you and I could survive, but I broke, didn't I?" Runa drew her legs up, wrapping her arms around them, chin resting on her knees as she stared at the fire, tears slipping again.

"Kai, I didn't even help them. I just stood there in shock. After all the training they gave me, all I could do was a stupid useless shout thing that ended up putting me in prison, and they died, anyway." 

Tears were streaming down her face, her lip quivered as she tried to keep from sobbing. Runa couldn't bring herself to meet Kaidan's eyes. She was too ashamed with a profound sense of loss and guilt. She wasn't sure she could ever recover from it. 

"All this time… I did not know how much you were suffering. I saw flashes of pain in your eyes from time to time, but I did not understand the extent of it." Kaidan wanted to hold her hand again, but she withdrew, arms bound to her legs. 

"If you picked up a sword or a bow, you would be dead too. You know that, right? There was nothing you could have done to change anything. If the Thalmor could kill your brothers, they would have killed you too. Your shout saved you. I know how that sounds, because of the situation you're in, but you're alive." He wasn't sure if he helped or made things worse. He didn't have experience in such things as comfort, but he was not wrong. 

"You don't think I'm... I'm some freak?" she asked, looking at him with pleading eyes that he didn't see her that way. 

"No, you are no freak," he said, looking straight into her eyes. "There is a reason or purpose behind what happened to you. Hopefully, we will find the answer. I find it interesting, though, that you and I were both in prison for relatively the same reasons—dragons." 

"I should have died with them. Maybe it's better than all this pain."

She covered her face in her hands, sobbing again. He moved her close to him, putting his arm around her for comfort. "I know it's no consolation, but then I would never have met you." 

She said nothing to that. She knew he was just trying to help, and as much as she liked Kaidan, she would rather have her family back. 

They sat in silence for a long time, then she put her head on his shoulder. The day was too much for her, finding that Runa fell asleep on his shoulder. He lifted her up, careful to not open the furs, and laid her on the bed to let her sleep. He moved to the chair, wrapped the other fur around his shoulders, and kept watch over the rest of the night until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Finally reaching Helgen


	11. Journey to Helgen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does Runa do when she finally reaches Helgen where it all began for her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was edited: 9/19/2020
> 
> I found the bears to be completely annoying in Skyrim lol. You could always hear them, but no matter how much you looked around, you could hardly find them. Then suddenly they are slamming you in the back or you can hear them finally running up to you from behind only to find they are about to slice off your face lol. So, I had to work the annoying bears into the story.

Runa woke up early to Mundus shining through the small windows. She rubbed her stinging eyes, knowing they swelled from crying the night before. At least with the light outside, it was no longer snowing. That was a plus, and they could start their journey again. As sleep cleared from her mind, she tried to push out the memories of last night, but they came flooding, intruding on her mind, unwanted. Tears sprung up, threatening to spill as she choked back a sob. _ No more, Runa. Not now. It’s time to get ready and get back home—no more ridiculous weeping. _

The want and need to get out of that horrible shack drove her out of bed, eager to move on. It was then Runa realized Kai was not in bed with her and panicked, looking around for him. His presence was becoming familiar, comfortable. She saw him wrapped in a pelt, sleeping in a chair by the dying fire, long legs stretched out. He didn’t look comfortable, but she didn’t want to disturb him either. The man needed his sleep, so Runa sat in bed, staring at him.

Kaidan looked cold and tense with furrowed brows, even in sleep. Runa wondered if he had been awake most of the night watching over her. Knowing him as little as she did, she knew that would be something characteristic of him. 

He jolted awake, startling her, looking around dazed and then feeling guilty that he fell asleep in the night. He should have stayed awake to guard the place until they were ready to leave, but Kaidan was exhausted and tense, quickly rubbing his face and the stiffness out of his neck. 

Kaidan saw Runa was awake, sitting in bed looking away as if she wasn’t staring at him. She looked so tired, and her eyes puffy from the night before. He didn’t know what to say, so he got and rummaged in their bag for some food. They needed to eat before they headed out. There were some crusty bread and cheese. It would have to do and handed them to Runa, who just shook her head, saying she wasn’t hungry. 

“You need to eat, Runa. It’s a long walk, and you need your strength.” 

“I know, but I can’t eat right now. My stomach feels like it won’t hold anything down, anyway. I will eat later when we take a break,” she promised. 

“Very well, but you _must _eat then,” he said, agreeing with reluctance. 

It didn’t take long for them to head out as they had minimal belongings. The morning was icy, and the snow was several inches deep, but it was bright, and the sky was clear. The snow wasn’t deep enough to impede their long walk, so they agreed they would attempt to walk the whole eight hours to get to Helgen. 

The old town was due East from their current location, so they walked off the beaten path to Helgen—straight to the place of Oblivion for Runa. It was right to where she lost everything dear to her. She was crying again, wondering once they got there, how she was going to handle it. Her entire world was upside down. 

Kaidan wasn’t a big talker because he was always alone, comfortable with silence. Even when he traveled with Brynjar, the two said little. But the silence between him and Runa was deafening. They haven’t spoken a word since they left the small shack two hours ago. His mind was an utter empty vessel of words. He didn’t know what to say but also worried if he said anything, it would be the wrong thing. He wasn’t good at this comforting thing. Brynjar never comforted Kaidan growing up, telling the boy to brush it off. 

_ “I will not hold your hand when you get hurt, boy. You have got to learn to pick yourself back up when you fall down.” _

There wasn’t much love there, but Kaidan knew Brynjar did the best he could to raise him, and he was thankful for how Brynjar prepared him for this violent world. 

After four hours of walking in silence, they stumbled upon a camp of Stormcloaks. Runa became nervous because of her father’s allegiance to the Imperials. She hoped no one would recognize her or who her father was. Her father took his children with him on his travels, meeting nobles and dignitaries. The likelihood of soldiers knowing her wasn’t high, but the fear remained. But none of them paid mind to them while Kaidan asked if they could settle in their camp for about an hour while they used their fire to warm up. They kindly agreed. 

Runa and Kaidan settled down on some sawn logs in front of the fire to get warm and eat. He could see Runa’s nervousness, eyes suspicious, but he understood after listening to her story last night. But she seemed to relax after getting warm and eating a bit of food. She promised him that morning she would eat, but she barely nibbled at the bread. She also looked exhausted, her eyes still swollen, filled with sadness.

_ To Oblivion with it. _ Kaidan headed towards her and sat down, putting his arm around her. He didn’t care if she rejected him or not. He just needed to do something, anything. But Runa didn’t deny him, leaning into him, putting her head on his shoulder like she did last night when they were sitting in front of the fire. Knowing now he made the right decision, he let out his breath, not realizing he was holding it and stroked his hand around her shoulder. 

An older soldier was sitting across the fire, also eating a light meal while watching them. He had a wistful smile on his face. “Ah, I miss those days of being in love. Oh, I am still happily married. Don’t get me wrong, but those beginnings of love were the best,” he said. “Never let these moments go. You will need them to carry you through the years of difficulties, and there will be. But there will be exceptional moments too.” 

A small smile tugged at Runa’s mouth.

Kaidan didn’t know what she was thinking about what the old soldier said since they were not together like that or in love, but he also didn’t correct the soldier—neither did she. He didn’t want to explain what they’ve throughout the past few days. 

“That’s lovely advice,” she said.

Before leaving, Kaidan needed to get his sword sharpened by the Stormcloak blacksmith. They had a few Septim left that he could give the blacksmith in return. Once Nodachi, his sword, was gleaming and could cut a hair in half, Kaidan attempted to pay the man, but the blacksmith refused. He told him not to worry about it, explaining it was his pleasure to work on such a beautiful sword. Kaidan was grateful and realized that with all the bad rap the rebellion received, they were still regular people fighting for something they believed in. They are trying to do the right thing in their eyes, even if people disagreed with what the right thing was. 

When the hour was up, Kaidan and Runa continued on their journey. There was still silence between them, but Kaidan wasn’t feeling as guilty about it because he comforted Runa earlier, even if he used no words. She would be ready to talk again, and until that time, he wouldn’t pressure her. 

Both of their ears perked up when they heard a familiar growl. Kaidan and Runa knew their peaceful journey was about to end. It was quiet, thinking they didn’t have to worry, but they heard another growl from a different direction. _ Bears, shit! _ One bear, they could handle; two is another story. If they didn’t get by the bears, they would have to fight them off, and in their condition, it was going to be perilous. 

Runa pulled out Kaidan’s bow on instinct, nocking an arrow, ready to fire, then bent down to a crouch. She shared his thoughts and concerns that they should sneak their way through. The challenging part was knowing the location of the bears and what direction they should move. 

Kaidan unsheathed his sword in silence, having it ready, as they both moved slow and steady to not draw attention to themselves. All seemed quiet for now as they continued to forward until they were confident it was safe. 

The heavy pounding on the ground, growing louder, had Runa’s heart pounding, knowing a bear was rushing her. She tried to spin and fire her arrow, but the massive bear knocked her down, slashing her back. Runa fell face down as her arrow went wild, bow landing in the snow out of reach. If she didn’t have the backpack on, she would be dead, her back torn open. She tried to scramble away, reaching for her dagger on her belt. The bear attacked again as her heart thundered in her ears. There was screaming in the area, not realizing it was coming from her.

Kaidan watched Runa get knocked down from behind by the bear, hearing her scream. He yelled out for her. As he rushed to help her, a second bear caught his scent, heading straight for Kaidan. He readied his sword, slashing at the creature before it could get him. His blade met its mark, but Skyrim bears were massive and strong. It would take more than one blow with a sword to bring it down, no matter how good the sword was, or the wielder.

The bear circled Kaidan, trying to find the right moment to attack again, roaring. He felt the fear and adrenaline, but it wasn’t just for him. He worried about Runa. The bear lunged and slashed at him with fierce claws, dancing backward as they grazed his abdomen. Kaidan slashed and thrust into the bear’s neck, bringing the beast down, but didn’t kill it. As the bear struggled to get up as if instinct drove it to kill him, Kaidan slashed and hacked the bear’s neck until it stopped moving. Kaidan didn’t stop for a second to breathe or bring his guard down as he rushed to Runa. But the bear that attacked her was dead too.

Runa found her dagger in time as the bear hovered over her, ready to eviscerate with dagger-like claws. She stabbed the beast over and over while twisting and turning away from the bear’s blows. The final blow came when she shoved the dagger into the bear’s ear. She rolled away, screaming just in time before the bear fell on top, almost crushing her. 

Kaidan helped her up and did a quick check to make sure the blood on her was the bear’s and not hers. 

“I’m OK. Stop! Get off! I’m OK!” She yelled, slapping at him and pushing him off of her. Runa brushed the bloodied snow off of her and looked down at her ruined dress. Her hands shook as the adrenaline wore off and released a slew of curses at her recent life. She couldn’t wait to get the disgusting dress off of her. She growled up at the sky, full-on irritable! “Fuck!”

Kaidan stepped back, hands raised to give her some space. He understood her frustration and anger. It had been a horrible week.

They gathered all their things from the torn pack and wrapped them all in one of their furs. Tying the ends together, Runa used the fur to carry their supplies while Kaidan continued to carry his heavy armor, his back still torn up.

The weather was clouding up again, but there was no sign of snow or rain so far. Exhaustion took hold of them, but they kept pushing themselves, promising they would make it all the way to Helgen. The rest of their journey was less harrowing, beautiful even, between the mountains with streams, lush trees and plants, and plentiful game. 

“This country is lush and with excellent game. One could live off the land for a long while here,” he said out of nowhere. 

“Yes, my brother, Balen, used to take me hunting near here. There are many places to hide, more so than in Whiterun, which has few trees, though there is plenty of game there. When I first learned to use the bow and not very good at stealth, we used the trees as cover.” 

Kaidan tried to imagine Runa as a little girl with an enormous bow trying to hunt rabbits. He imagined her long thick wavy black hair all over her face, blowing it away in frustration as she was prone to do. He struggled to imagine Runa could see well enough to hunt anything through all that hair. The image left a smile on his face. 

It was early evening when they reached Helgen, and it was getting dark. They entered the area with trepidation. This was where Runa’s life changed forever. They meandered through the ruined fort, hesitant. Kaidan drew his sword in case, and Runa readied his bow. But the only thing remaining was burned destruction and unrecognizable bodies. 

Dragon bones littered the main courtyard, and Kaidan whistled from awe. He had never seen a dragon before. No one has. They were supposed to be extinct. The dragon bones were impressive and bigger than he had imagined. 

“I... I need to go...” Runa said, dropping her back and took off running to the camp where it all happened. She didn’t know what to expect once they reached Helgen, but she didn’t expect this powerful need to go to the camp. Her need to see her family drove her. She could hear Kaidan yell out and run after her, but she didn’t stop. 

The speed at which she was running was unbelievable for being injured and wearing a dress. When he finally caught up to her, he saw Runa was on her knees in the middle of a demolished camp holding something. He ambled towards her to see she held the hand of an older gentleman he assumed to be her father with early stages of decomposition.

“They just left them here to rot,” she sobbed. He squatted next to her and put a hand on her shoulder as she looked up at him, tears streaming down her face, pleading. “I need to find a way to get them home. I… I can’t leave them here.” 

“Yes, of course. We will find a way to get your family home and give them a proper burial.” That would also mean he had to put his own personal journey on hold for a while longer. It also meant Kaidan could spend a little more time with her, getting used to her company. A bond was developing between them, at least that was what he felt. It was fast, perhaps too fast. It was probably because extreme circumstances thrust them together. That didn’t stop Kaidan from recognizing these feelings he developed for her. It wasn’t the time, as he pushed them away, to think about some other time.

Runa stood and walked over to a storage chest by a large destroyed tent, opened it, and pulled out some clothes he assumed to be hers. 

“Give me a minute, please,” she said as she hurried off to get some privacy. When she returned, she replaced her gory dress with a dark blue tunic, leather breeches, and boots. She carried a leather corset, unable to wear it, and tossed it aside as her wound still bothered her. Then she clipped on a fur cloak with a hood.

The change in her appearance and demeanor left Kaidan stunned. It was as if she was a new person, someone else. He watched her walk over to her father, removing something from his finger, and put it on her own—a ring.

“It’s my father’s signet ring. I can’t leave it out here,” she said, then walked over to each of her brothers, speaking some words only she could hear.

When she said goodbyes, there was one more thing she had to do. She opened another trunk, Runa pulled out another fur cloak similar to hers. With tears still in her eyes, she handed it to Kaidan for warmth. “Here, you wear this. There’s no point in leaving it here to rot.”

“Thank you.”

Runa looked back at the destruction of her family’s camp. “I can’t stay here or near here tonight. Do you think we have the energy to make it another four hours to Riverwood? I have some Septims from my trunk. We can use it to get a meal and stay overnight at the Sleeping Giant Inn. In the morning, we can hire a carriage.” 

“Of course, we can.”

Leaving behind the furs and pack, and only his armor to carry, they headed onward to Riverwood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Next: Dealing with loss and fluttering emotions


	12. Almost Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While in Riverwood at then Inn, Runa and Kaidan are starting to really look into how they feel about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Scenes of masturbation, thus probably NSFW.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting!! It means a lot!!!

They finally made it to the Sleeping Giant Inn for some food, mead and a night’s rest, thankful they didn’t have to sleep outside in the cold again. As they ate and drank in silence, Kaidan was watching her pick at her food. She seemed in such a far-off place and wondered what was going on in her mind. He was worried about how she was feeling seeing her family and all the hardships they had gone through so far getting here.

He cleared his throat. “How are you holding up?”

She was quiet for so long and wasn’t sure if she was going to respond or not. But after a while, she finally spoke up. “I don’t know. I’m still struggling with the loss of my family, but I suppose I always will, won’t I?”

“Well, I won’t be one of those people that tell you ‘time heals all wounds.’ Everyone deals with loss differently.”

She looked up at him then, appreciative of his words. “I am glad to have some closure though. I can finally put my family to rest.” Her eyes started to water then. “I miss them so very much and my heart just breaks every time I think about them, more than I can say. I am also the last of my line, which kills me.”

She was quiet again for a long while. Kaidan didn’t really know what else to say, so he just listened.

“It kills me that I will never be a sister or a daughter again or an aunt to nieces and nephews. But at least I got to finally say goodbye.” 

“I can understand that, Runa. I never got to say goodbye to the man who raised me either. I was angry and not myself for a long time,” he explained 

She looked up at him, wiping away the tears. He was the one looking down now and picking at his stew, lost in memories. He had pain of his own similar to hers. Perhaps he truly does understand. She could see his eyebrows furrowed with tension. “What happened to him?” 

Looking up at her, he shook his head, “No, I...it’s not something I really want to talk about. Right now we need to worry about you getting home and getting your family home. I just wanted you to know I understood.” 

She nodded her head, “Ok, Kai.” She reached out across the table and put her hand over his, and held it there for a while for comfort. 

“How are you feeling about what happened to you in...in the shack? If...if you don’t want to talk about that, I understand. It was just a really bad situation and I still see it in my eyes how I wanted to help you but couldn’t,” he said looking down at his food. 

“I don’t know, I have really tried not to process it. I have shoved it to the back of my mind...yes, I don’t really want to talk about it at all. I do know it could have turned out much worse.” With that, he just nodded. 

The bard had stopped singing and picked up a lute to play a tune towards the end of the evening. It was a beautiful piece. Runa closed her eyes and absorbed the notes as if they were flowing through her. Kaidan just watched her feel the beautiful music as she slightly swayed and found his heart start pounding in his chest. She was such a stunning woman, and the way she was feeling the music had him enthralled. He never felt music like that. 

Runa finally opened her eyes when the song was over. “Sorry, I love that particular piece and I tend to get lost in it.”

He didn’t say anything, but she watched him move to sit next to her. She looked at him questioningly as he grabbed one of her hands and held it, looking down. 

“I know we haven’t known each other very long, Runa. We have been thrust together in this violent world and have come out the stronger for it, I think. I don’t know if you will have me, but I would like to stay by your side a little longer. My journey can wait for a while. We both come from completely different worlds, but I feel we have some sort of connection and believe you feel it too. Or...or am I wrong?” 

“You are not wrong,” she whispered, glad in a way he voiced what she had been feeling. 

“I...I am just not ready to leave your side after we get you home. Would you have me a bit longer?” Those captivating red eyes penetrating through hers. 

All she could do was nod. She really didn’t want Kaidan to depart yet either. She wasn’t sure she would have gotten here were it not for him and they definitely had some sort of connection. She didn’t know how long they had together, but she was just happy it would be longer than the next couple of days. 

This time they each had their own rooms. _ It is going to be strange without her close by. _ He walked her to her room to make sure she had all she needed. When they entered her room, she reached up to give him a long hug. He was not expecting that and took him a second to reach around to hug her back. She had to stand on her toes just to reach him, he was so tall. 

She looked at him after they got to her room and she didn’t want him to go to his. She didn’t want to be alone right then and needed to be held or something. So she reached up to him and held him, needing to be held herself. _ I don’t want him to go. I need to be held right now. _

There were no signs of her letting go, so he let her just stay there as long as she needed. Their journey had been a rough one and she probably needed to be held for a while; _ perhaps I need some holding myself._

After a little while, he felt her hot breath on his neck and then a very gentle kiss. He closed his eyes as his heart picked up in speed and goosebumps spread down his arms. This was not something he was expecting at all. Then another little kiss and another and another. 

She surprised herself by lightly kissing his neck--just had this strong desire to kiss him. Her need to not be alone grew as she kissed him more on his neck. He wasn’t pulling away, so perhaps he wanted to be with her too.

The kissing stopped and he looked down to see her looking up at him. It took a couple of beats before he got a clue and bent his head down to finally kiss her on her lips. 

Her lips were so full and soft as he knew they would be. The kiss started out soft and delicate, but the longer they kissed the more desperate it felt; the deeper their need. Their breathing was speeding up as was their kissing. 

This was truly her first kiss and it felt wonderful. She didn’t quite know what she was doing, so she followed his lead and mimicked what he did. Her heart started to beat faster in her excitement and felt his hands start to explore her body making her heartbeat that much faster.

He started to move his hands around her back and moved them down to her ass which brought her in closer to his body. He was starting to get hard and he knew she could feel it too, which made him blush a bit but he didn’t care. 

As she was pulled in closer to him, she could feel him getting hard against her hip, which made her kiss him even harder. She inserted her tongue into his mouth, responding to his as they entwined their tongues together.

She heard herself moan and pulled her head back. He instantly started kissing her still bruised throat while moving one of his hands to her head, lightly gripping her thick hair. She started to feel a warmth spread between her legs. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but it felt good. 

He moved on to her left ear, kissing and nibbling it, which made her moan again. She felt so light and free like she would just float away. She had never been kissed before, but never ever imagined it would be like this. She wanted more and more... 

As their kissing became more heated, clarity had set in. He wanted nothing more than to be with her at that moment, but he realized she was doing this, not because she wanted him, but a need to not be alone after everything that had happened to her.

After a few minutes, he slowed down and stopped. He was looking down at her and could see her desperate and questioning eyes as to why he stopped. The look almost made him return to her lips, but he forced the desire down.

“You are...you are so beautiful, and strong,” he said, placing his forehead on her hers so he wouldn’t have to look at her pleading eyes. 

“I would love nothing more than to be with you right now; all of you. More than just a beautiful kiss. I...I want to make sure it is right and we aren’t doing this because of grief and after what happened to you with the bandits; I just wouldn’t feel right.” 

He moved his hands from her ass and gently cupped her face in them. He kissed her lightly on the lips again then forcing himself to look at her in the eyes. “Please don’t look at me like that, Runa. You know it’s going to be hard to say no to you. But it has to be right. Do you understand? You are becoming special to me to do this wrong.” With that, he kissed her one more time lightly on the lips and started to leave for his own room. 

“I...I don’t want you to go.” Her eyes started to pool with unshed tears. 

Her words made him stop and turn around. “And, I don’t want to go. But I just don’t feel right about this.” He quickly walked away before he changed his mind and gave in to her.

She was left standing there feeling suddenly cold, empty and alone as she watched him walk away. She wanted to understand but mainly didn’t want to be alone. She tried to understand what he was saying to her and she wasn’t angry with him, just frustrated.

With a sigh, she closed her door, removed all her clothes and went to bed. But sleep would not come. Being alone left her with thoughts of her dead family and strong emotions. Knowing that would happen, she pushed those thoughts aside and put her fingertips to her lips trying to recall all the details of their kiss; the way he felt, the way he smelled, his fast breathing, kissing on her neck and ear. 

As far as first kisses went, that was wonderful, not that she had anything to compare it to. Thinking about the kiss and his touches caused a warm and wet feeling between her legs she couldn’t explain. Reaching down between her legs she felt so much wetness with her fingers, which made her curious. 

Touching herself down there caused her to instinctively thrust her hips forward. She moved her fingers around, exploring her folds when she came to a spot that sent a shiver through her body that made her moan. She started to imagine Kai touching down there and kissing her. 

She closed her eyes and used a finger to move her wetness around her to that one tender spot. At first, it was gentle, but an electric warmth and pulsing feeling she was having made her rub it harder and faster. Her breathing and heart rate started to pick up in pace. 

Something strong was happening between her legs as she rubbed faster and faster. She could feel this strong warmth radiating through her body, making her face flush and sweat a little. That little spot opened up and she started pulsing hard down there causing her to hold her breath in, spread her legs and arch her back. She felt this fire spread through her body as she pulse heavily on her fingertip. She had to cover her mouth with her other hand so they couldn’t hear her screams. The pulses started to subside and everything just released. 

_ Oh, I’m definitely doing that again. _

Sleep came quickly to her after that and she had one of the best sleep she’s had in a very long time. 

When Kaidan got back to his room, he was absolutely frustrated. Part of him wanted to go back to her and part of him knew he made the right decision, but the feral part of him just wanted to rip that leather right off of her. He hoped she didn’t hate him for it. She probably would have let him had he continued, and that was also part of the problem. He also wanted to make sure she wanted _him_ and not just a need because of her grief. Then he started to doubt himself. If that's what she needed, then why not give it to her? _ No, I made the right decision. _

He removed his clothes and got into bed. He couldn’t get their kiss out of his mind. That was one of the best kisses he has ever had. There was definitely some electricity between them, he thought. They melded into each other too easily for this to be a typical thing. He was still hard thinking about it and realized he was going to have to do something about it before he would be able to sleep. 

He moved his hands down between his legs and grabbed his long and thick shaft, which was warm and its tip wet. Wrapping his hand tightly, but not too tight, around himself he started to move his hand and skin gently up and down. He was imagining he was inside Runa. Inside her tight wetness and kissing her full breasts while she moaned and arched her back into him allowing him to thrust deeply into her.

The thought of that vision made him move his hand faster and faster. He used his thumb to play with his tip, which was wet with pre-cum, then he grabbed his shaft faster and harder. His breathing was getting heavier and the heat was spreading through his body. His vision of Runa naked and him inside her didn’t take him long to finally explode in his hand. He continued to slightly move his hand up and down as he continued to pulse until he was finally spent. 

Sleep found him quickly and he too had a wonderful sleep.


	13. Finally Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insecurities are at an all time high when Kaidan realizes how different Runa's life is compared to his.

She was already awake and eating breakfast at a table when he sat down. He tried not to stare at her, but she was stunning this morning. Her eyes were so bright blue and clear, and she took the time to do a beautiful ponytail on the side. The long waves gently coming down the right side of her shoulder. Her wavy long bangs just seemed to fall in all the right places. 

He wanted to kiss her right then and there, but he was suddenly feeling a little awkward and flustered. He didn’t know if she was mad at him or not for last night. He felt terrible for walking away from her. But whatever awkwardness or uncertainty was there soon vanished as she stood up to sit next to him and gave him a small kiss on the lips. This made him smile and they butt their foreheads together for a second.

“Hey, you,” he said, as she smiled back. 

She wanted to be upset with him, but when she saw him this morning looking so guilty and uncertain, she couldn’t resist giving him a little kiss. She was glad to see that it pleased him. She understood what he was saying last night and while she didn’t want to be alone, she still wanted him for more than that.

The barmaid put a plate of eggs, bread, and cheese in front of him with some apple slices. “I took the liberty of ordering you some food this morning. I hope it’s OK.”

He nodded and started eating heartedly. “Yes, thank you.”

“By the way, I hate to be a spoiled brat, but I’m done hiking. I ordered us a carriage ride for the rest of the way home.” 

He surprised himself by being relieved with that news. They could get her home quickly and hopefully not worry about any more dangers. “OK, that sounds good to me too. Thank you for doing that.”

She waved him off. “Please, don’t thank me. It was purely for selfish reasons.” She smiled at him with that amazing smile and dimple. 

He had a hard time imagining her being selfish or spoiled. If she were, she would have left him to rot in that prison. As far as he could tell, her family raised her in a fairly grounded and practical way.

**********

The manor was just over the horizon, she could see excitedly. But then memories of her dead family crept in and suddenly found herself wondering if she could handle being in that house. 

There was smoke coming out of the chimneys, so she knew someone was still there maintaining the home and property. She was going to have to make sure whoever was left there, was going to receive extra pay for all their work. 

It had only been a week and a half since she was home, but it felt like years to her after everything she had been through. Her father had many homes throughout the region, but Ivarson Manor was special to her. He had it specially built for him and her mother after they were married. It was the one she spent the most time growing up in. 

As the carriage drove through the gated stone walls and up to the manor, Kaidan was silent. Part of him was in awe, the other part was wondering what in Oblivion he got himself into with Runa. He knew she was wealthy, but he didn’t realize to what extent. This was beyond wealth. It was almost, but not quite, as big as the Jarl’s Dragonsreach. It was a massive wood and stone manor with actual glass windows, a beautiful garden, many horses and he could see servants moving to and fro getting ready for their Mistress. 

_No, no, no...what am I doing?! What am I thinking?_

Was he crazy in thinking he could actually try to have a woman like Runa with absolutely nothing to offer her? How damned naïve was he?! _ Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

Once they pulled up to the front of the house, he saw a lovely plump older woman with a graying blonde bun. Watching Runa run to her and give her a massive hug told him that this must have been Alva, the woman who took care of Runa most of her teenage years. 

Alva and Runa were crying, but smiling too. Holding Runa out by grasping her shoulders, Alva looked at her up and down. “Oh, girl, let me look at you. What happened to you?! You look too thin and are those wounds on your face? Oh dear, let’s get you in the house, feed you and you will tell me everything that has happened,” Alva ordered. 

Alva looked up just as Kaidan was stepping down from the carriage. “And, who might you be?” 

Kaidan bowed, “I am Kaidan. I am grateful to know you.” 

“Oh my, aren’t you the gentleman. Well, come on in...come on!” she ordered. “Let’s all eat and tell me what is going on.” 

Kaidan followed Runa and Alva into the manor with uncertainty and unease. As he entered the manor, if he wasn’t impressed with the outside, he was definitely impressed with the inside. They all walked into a great hall that was filled with armor and display cases full of artifacts Runa’s father collected over the years. There were massive paintings and tapestries all over the walls and intricate rugs on stone floors. 

They finally entered a massive kitchen. Alva ordered them to sit down at the table while she pulled out some sweet rolls to snack on and some mead. 

Kaidan could see kitchen staff scrambling to put together some food for their Mistress of the Manor and her guest. Considering how formal the house was, sitting down in the kitchens with the staff helped normalize things for him. 

Once they had their rolls and drinks, Alva sat down with them. “Now dear, please tell me what is going on and what has happened.” She pulled a handkerchief out of the pocket of her apron and started dabbing her eyes. 

“I know what has happened to Sir Ivar and your sweet, sweet brothers. Some soldiers came to the manor to inform us that they had all died from the dragon that was seen in Helgen. I had to ask them about you, but they didn’t know. They didn’t see a young woman in the camp. They informed us that we could leave and find other employment, but I knew, just _ knew _ you were still alive, my dear Runa.” 

Alva started wiping tears away again and blowing her nose loudly. He could see why Runa loved Alva so much. She was quite charming and they certainly had a strong bond. It was hard to not take an instant liking to the older woman.

Runa told her absolutely everything that had happened to her and Kaidan, and that she owes Kaidan her life. Alva looked on at Kaidan with great admiration. 

“My dear, dear boy, we owe you everything for saving our girl, Runa. You are welcome at Ivarson Manor for as long as you need to stay. You just let old Alva here know if you need anything at all.” 

Kaidan nodded appreciatively. “Runa also saved my life. I wouldn’t have been able to help her at all had she not helped me first. I owe her a great debt. She’s a wonderful and resourceful woman.” 

“Oh, we all know it, Sir Kaidan; don’t we know it!” Alva stated proudly. 

After dinner, Runa brought Kaidan to her father’s library for some Colovian Brandy. Kaidan had never had brandy before. It smelled much stronger than mead or wine, and strangely cleared his nose when he inhaled it. One sip though made him cough a bit and it burned going down his throat. 

Runa just laughed a bit and informed him it was an acquired taste. Slowly sipping his brandy, he walked around the warm and vast room. All the walls were covered floor to ceiling with shelves of books. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen so many books in his life. Runa wasn’t joking when she talked about her father’s extensive library. 

Over the fireplace was a massive painting of a beautiful woman in an elegant blue gown he assumed to be Runa. “That’s a beautiful painting of you, Runa.” 

She looked up at the painting. “That is actually my mother.” 

Kaidan thought the similarities between mother and daughter were striking. “You two look exactly alike.” 

After a moment of silence, he spoke up. “I’m sorry you lost her.” 

“Me too, but honestly, I never knew her so, my feelings of loss are quite different compared to the loss of my father and brothers.” 

He nodded in understanding. “I never knew my mother either, but I think about her frequently and wonder if I looked like her and if she was beautiful? Did she have red eyes like I do? Why did she leave me?”

Runa went up to him and grabbed one of his hands in hers. “I understand, Kai. We will get some answers for you,” she promised. 

He looked down at her full of uncertainty and doubt. Not for Runa. He absolutely believed her and trusted her. But, for their situation. He was having strong feelings of insecurity he was absolutely not used to having. He had always understood his station in life and accepted it. But things have changed and now he doesn’t know anymore.

Runa was watching him look at her and seeing all these emotions cross his face. She was sure he wasn’t aware he was doing it. The way he’s feeling must be strong enough for him to show them so expressively without his knowledge. Something was going on here. Maybe he was just tired and it has been a long and emotional journey. 

“Come on, let me show you to your room.” She grabbed his hand once more and led him up the stone staircase. 

He was reluctant to see his room, certain it was as opulent as the rest of the manor and he wasn’t wrong. The room was the biggest bedroom he had ever seen in his life. It was bigger than some entire Inns he’s stayed in over the years. The whole house was beautiful and Runa was so alive in it. He loved watching her excitement showing him around her home. But all he could feel was apprehension. 

This just wasn’t going to work and it distressed him to come to this realization. _ No, she deserves someone much better than me. _ He decided he would move on in the morning and continue on with his journey without her, despite what he said at the inn. He just wasn’t certain how he was going to handle it. Would he be a coward and sneak out without telling her or would he take the high road and do the right thing. 

_He’s a coward..._


	14. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Runa try to work out their differences; misunderstandings abound and insecurities are high. This will be a big test for their fledgling relationship.

One of the servants laid out a night tunic for Kaidan to wear to bed along with a clean new tunic for tomorrow. He’s never had a night tunic before, but out of respect, he put it on anyway and crawled under the most beautiful red quilt he had ever seen.

He laid down and wondered if he could even sleep here. The bed was filled with down and he just sunk in it. He was either used to sleeping in the woods, caves or noisy inns. This was a whole new world for him and he wasn’t sure he liked it. But, Runa did. This was her world. A world he could never be a part of.

She may be OK with him now, but if they ended up being serious together, eventually she would tire of the fact that he holds no property or has no money other than what he earns with bounty work. One thing was certain, he would be gone by morning.

I just have to figure out how to leave without anyone noticing. It’s better I leave now before things get too serious between us.

Finally, after about an hour of stress and worry, he fitfully fell asleep. He didn’t know what time it was when he woke up to feel this comfortable warmth envelop him. His eyes slowly opened to see that there was an arm draped around his waist and a warm body pressed up against his back. Dammit. Now I’m going to have to face her.

He closed his eyes uncertain of what to do. He welcomed her warmth and almost grabbed her hand to hold it across his chest, but he didn’t want to lead her on. He had to send her back to her room. He turned around to face her seeing her beautiful blue eyes glistening with the two moons shining through the windows tonight, making this all the more difficult.

Just get it out and don’t beat around the bush with her. “Runa. I can’t do this. Please go back to your bed. I have decided I am leaving in the morning.”

She let him go and sat up, her eyes watering even more. He could tell she was upset about it, but over time he would move on and she would find someone much more worthy of her. It was for the best.

She looked at him in surprise and worry. “What do you mean you’re leaving? No, don’t leave. I need you. I was going to…”

But he raised a firm hand and interrupted her. “It has to be this way. We come from completely different worlds and I need to move on to complete my journey. You need to move on with your life. You deserve so much more. It was a mistake to kiss you and hope that we could actually have something together. I was just kidding myself.”

“What are you talking about, Kaidan? Different worlds? Move on with our lives? Is that what has been bothering you all day? You have been so quiet and I have seen every emotion cross your face since we got here. I don’t understand why you want to leave.”

He too sat up in bed, drew up his knees and wrapped his arms loosely around his legs, and looked over at her. “Come on, Runa, you’re a smart lass. Please tell me you see it too. You know I don’t fit in this world of yours. I...I knew you were wealthy, but I really had no idea the extent of it. I have absolutely nothing, Runa. I work part-time as a wanderer and part-time collecting bounties. I have some hair-brained journey planned that will probably yield nothing, yet I have nothing else better to do. I’m just trying to find a little space for myself in this big world. You deserve so much more than that.”

She was getting very upset now. “So, that’s it? You kiss me and then see where I live and it’s all over? You do realize my mother didn’t come from wealth, right? I thought we shared something really special between us?”

“Runa, we do...”

Tears were streaming down her face and her lip quivered, but she ignored them. “Do you really feel that way, Kai? The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable with my wealth. This is something I was born in to; it is not who I am. I thought you would know that by now after everything we have been through, even as short as it’s been.

Even if I wanted to be with some nobleman, they have absolutely nothing to offer me other than more money or land, which clearly, I do not need.” She said this as she waved her hands around the large room.

She was making him feel guilty, but he stuck with his decision, wishing he had just left that evening. He tried once more to get her to understand. “One day you will look back and realize this is for the best. I’m a nobody who doesn’t have a family or friends or a home. What would be the point in spending any more time with me?” He looked at her hoping she finally understood.

“Stop. Just stop it!” She was starting to get a little louder. She put her hands to her face then and just started weeping.

Dammit! Why do I always cry when I’m angry! How am I supposed to make my point weeping! Urgh!

“I don’t like it either, Runa, but you know this is for the best,” he said misunderstanding her tears.

“Dammit, Kaidan, will you shut up for five damned minutes! I came to you tonight to talk about leaving here. I can’t do it. There are so many happy memories here, but there are just too many ghosts; both of which are extremely painful. I need to leave! I can’t stay here any longer.”

Now he was torn with her words. Crap, don’t give in to her. It’s for the best.

“Runa…”

“No, I’m not done! How can you be so dense?! I don’t want to be here and I want to go with you! I want to make my own way in this world...with you. What I do know is I can’t stay here or in any house of my father’s. It’s just too painful for me right now.” She just sobbed in her hands, sitting in his bed.

Knowing he was giving in to her, he grabbed her to him and held her while she cried as he kissed her head. To Oblivion with it. He wasn’t going to abandon her now after that speech. If she needed him, then so be it. He knew if didn’t work out between them, it would be doubly hard to leave, but he couldn't say no to her any longer.

“Shhh, OK. It’s OK. Yes, if you need to leave, we will figure it out. We will figure it out...together.”

She pulled away and grabbed his face towards hers and kissed him lightly, “Thank you, Kai. I’m glad I’m not going this alone. Being without my family is hard enough and I admit, I’m a bit afraid.”

They both fell back on the bed together facing each other, as Kaidan pulled her in close to him and Runa draped her legs over his, snuggling her face into his neck as her crying subsided. He continued to hold her and kissed her head goodnight when sleep finally reached him.

Before she fell asleep, she worried about her new found need in him; not the protection kind of need, but an emotional one. She very much wanted to be with him, but she hoped it wasn’t a want in desperation.


	15. Saying Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa and Kaidan say their farewells to Ivarson Manor and make their way to new adventures together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you efmrider for helping with editing!

He woke up early in the morning and looked at Runa still sleeping next to him. He realized he had his arm, draped over her and his hand had slipped into her shift grasping her breast. He grimaced, worried she would wake up and be angry with him so, he slowly removed his hand without waking her. But she was awake, as she grabbed his hand to put it back where it was. He smiled into her neck and kissed her head, pulling her closer into him. Feeling her plump and firm breasts made him hard and he wanted to do more with her, but he controlled himself. She turned her head a bit as he bent down and kissed her on her lips.

“Go downstairs to the kitchen. I need to bathe and pack. I’m sure Alva has a wagon-load of food for breakfast.”

He got up quickly, trying to hide his erection from her. She didn’t notice as she closed her eyes to sleep for a few more minutes.

**********

When Runa came down to the kitchen for breakfast, she found Kaidan eating breakfast. Alva was hovering over him, urging him to eat more. The table was laden with food and it appeared she thought he wasn’t eating enough to keep body and soul together. Kaiden looked up as she entered, his eyes opening wide, then started choking on his bread. Alva instantly started pounding his back, while smiling, knowing full well that Kaiden wasn’t choking because of the food. 

Runa had her hair up in a bun with a braid wrapped around it. Intricate braids ran through her hair into her bun and the long wavy bangs which before had obscured her features were parted in the middle and now delicately framed her beautiful face. Inhaling, he could smell the strong scent of lavender as soon as she entered the room. She was wearing the same leather pieces from yesterday but with a white tunic this time. Around her neck was an elaborately carved silver amulet inlaid with sapphires that brought out the color in her blue eyes. He couldn’t stop staring. 

_ What a difference in her compared to when I first saw her in the prison! _

Alva then turned her attention to Runa, urging her to sit and eat. Runa shook her head. 

“I’ll eat on the road, Alva. I’m sorry, but I have to go away for a while.” 

Alva’s mouth dropped open. “But…but I don’t understand! You love it here, Runa! And…and, we just got you back!” She groped for her handkerchief in the pocket of her apron and began to cry. 

“Alva…” _ How could she say it? _Her own eyes began to tear. “Maybe one day I can come home, but right now there are just too many memories and knowing I will never see my father in his library again, or my brothers making their surprise visits...I just can’t do it. It’s just too painful. 

You stay and have the staff stay. I will pay for everyone to keep living here so they don’t have to look for new employment, but I just can't do it now, Alva. I’m going to sell the other properties, but I will keep this one because it is special to me. I will come to visit you when I can; I promise.” 

“What will you do, my sweet girl?” Alva asked, finally relenting. 

Runa smiled sadly. “I’m no longer the sweet girl you knew, Alva. Too much has happened. I’ve seen too much. I’ve promised to help Kaidan find some answers, and I have answers of my own to seek. Together, we’ll be fine. I will send you word when I can.” 

Runa walked out of the kitchen and as Kaidan was about to follow her, when Alva grabbed his arm to hold him back. He looked down at the lovely plump woman questioningly. 

“I don’t know the details of what is really going on between you and my Runa, but I don’t need to know. I see the way you look at her and how she looks at you. I just want you to know that if you hurt her, I will hurt you. I am her family now. Do you understand, boy?” 

Kaidan nodded vigorously. “Aye, I would never hurt her,” he promised. Listening to Alva’s order made him swallow hard, worrying about all that had transpired the night before. He promised Runa he would help her and stay with her, but he still worried about their clear economic differences.

Satisfied with that, she reached up and gave Kaidan a big hug and motherly kiss on his cheek goodbye. “Take care of my girl.” 

Before they headed out Runa handed Kaidan his bow back, “here you should have this back. Thank you for lending it to me. I have mine now, which was my mother’s ebony bow.” 

He took his bow and clasped it to his back with his quiver and just looked down at her. He approached her closely to adjust her cloak and pull the hood over her head, careful to not mess up her braids. It was very cold and windy this morning. The sun in her eyes made her blue eyes that much brighter and he couldn’t help but stare into them. 

“Before we leave, I want to make sure, again, this is what you want. Not only have we just been here for a day, but we are not fully recovered either.” He put his hand gently on her face and looked deeply into her blue eyes. “It’s not always going to be easy and there will be days that it is really difficult. You had a taste of our 'adventure’ getting here. It was brutal at times” 

She nodded. “I know...I’m certain. I know it’s not going to be easy and I will just have to be ready for that, but there is nothing for me here now.” As she said that, she looked back sadly at her childhood home. “But, I will have you by my side,” she said as her sadness changed to a slight smile. 

He leaned down and gently kissed her on her full lips; they butted foreheads together, “Aye, that you have. You have me and you have my sword. It would take an army to pry me away from you.” He said these words, but the doubts lingered that it would be only a matter of time before she didn't want him.

When she first met him, those words would have annoyed her. But now? It made her feel safe. 

The stable hand pulled out Runa’s horse and a horse for Kaidan to ride. They both had leather packs on their backs carrying all the necessities they may need for their journey, as well as packs on their horses. They wanted to be prepared for anything this time around. 

Runa’s horse was a beautiful Palomino mare with a tan color and a cream-colored mane named Butternut. “Butternut?” Kaidan asked raising an eyebrow. 

“What, it’s cute! Besides, I was only 7 years old when I named her, so...” she smiled patting Butternut on the neck and kissing her on the nose. “Don’t you listen to mean old Kaidan,” she said in a baby voice to her horse. Butternut snorted her nose as if she actually understood all that. 

Kaidan’s horse was a large, stunning, dapple gray stallion with a black mane named Thor. Kaidan was a bit worried as to why he was named Thor and prayed to The Nine ‘Thor’ wouldn’t buck him to Oblivion. He was going to have to make sure he showed the horse who was in charge. 

“Don’t let the name fool you,” Runa said, sensing his unease. “He’s a big baby who likes to be kissed on his nose.” 

“I’m NOT kissing that horse on the nose.” 

Runa just laughed. Getting on their horses, she asked, “So, where would you like to go first?” Runa asked. 

“I think the first thing we should do is go to Dragonsreach and warn the Jarl about the dragon. He needs to know what is going on in his lands, plus he may also have some work for us,” he suggested. 

“Let’s do it then. While we are there, I need to find a courier to deliver some Septim to a couple of ‘friends’ of ours and some letters of sale for the rest of the properties. I...I also need to let the temple know to gather my family and have them buried in the Hall of the Dead in Whiterun.” 

They waved their goodbyes to Alva, who was weeping and made their way towards the City of Whiterun. 

Runa trotted off on Butternut not looking back. _ I can't look back. If I do, I will have doubts._

It didn’t take any longer than an hour and a half to get to the city itself. A city that had been plagued by too many harsh winters, a severe bandit problem, and a war soon to be on its doorstep. Not to mention there is now a dragon problem as well. Its lands were mainly moors and its centralized location is ideal for either the Imperials or the Stormcloaks, though the Jarl has yet to choose a side, preferring to remain neutral for as long as possible. The city was surrounded by crumbling walls but fiercely guarded. It also had everything one could want or need from an inn to a blacksmith, to a temple and all sorts of goods to buy. 

There were three main focal points in the city. The first being the massive Gildergreen tree that is in the center of it all, which was struck by lightning and now lay bare. Jorrvaskr is the oldest building in Whiterun and is also next to the famous Skyforge. Jorrvaskr holds the Companions, which is a famous and very old warrior’s guild, and the Skyforge makes all their weapons. Last is Dragonsreach, the home of Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. Dragonsreach was enlarged long ago so it could imprison an actual dragon. 

“Yes, let’s build a place made of wood to capture a dragon that breathes fire. Brilliant planning,” Kaidan said sarcastically. “And, the city’s walls are crumbling, there are no ramparts and they are virtually defenseless. The Jarl really needs to really address this. He can’t remain neutral forever and the war will eventually be on his doorstep; the city is NOT prepared.” 

“I agree, but try to realize they have also been struggling financially for a long time, Kai.” 

They handed their horses over to a stable boy and headed into the city with the gate closed. “Halt, by order of the Jarl. No one is to enter the city while there are dragons about,” the guard ordered, stopping them. 

“That is why we are here, sir. I have information about the dragon that the Jarl will want to know.” 

“Very well, but no causing trouble while you are in the city.” 

After finding a courier and sending him on his way, and discussing burial arrangements at the temple, they headed straight to see the Jarl. 

Dragonsreach was beautiful to behold. It was massive as far as longhouses go that practically reached to the sky and the wood on the doors and beams were intricately carved with the traditional patterns of the Nords. Through the doors, they walked into a great hall with beautiful rugs everywhere and up a few steps were two massive dining tables filled with food and drinks that were part of the throne room. On their right was a large enchantment room where the court wizard worked. On their left was where the kitchens were located. Past the tables in the center was the Jarl sitting on his throne looking bored while listening to his advisors instructing him on how he should handle the situation regarding the dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor, the horse was based on a horse we had growing up, though his name wasn't Thor. He was a beautiful dappled gray stallion. Did you know that dapple gray horses are born dark brown? When he was born, my little sister used to kiss him on the nose all the time and ever since then, when we would visit him, he would stick out his nose to be kissed.


	16. The Jarl and the Wizzard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa and Kaidan meet the Jarl of Whiterun and his Court Wizzard to be sent on a quest for answers to the dragon problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am headed out of town, so thought I would post early. I posted two chapters as they work closely together (this one and the one before it). The next few chapters after these I followed relatively close to the story line of the game since it's the main quest line. But after that I deviate again from the game's story back to my POV. By Chapter 20, we will see Runa and Kaidan finally getting to know each other on a more 'intimate' level and their relationship quickly speeds up from there.

The Jarl was a middle-aged man who had long blond hair with braids in the traditional Nord style and a long beard. He was thin, but still muscular, even for his age. He looked noble, as a Jarl should be, in his blue tunic embroidered with gold and trimmed with fur along the collar. His circlet crown was gold inlaid with rubies and sapphires. 

Runa walked quickly up to him and before she could bow, his Housecarl, Irileth, a beautiful Dunmer, stopped her in her tracks with sword drawn. 

“What is the meaning of this interruption?!” she demanded. 

Runa raised her hands a bit and backed off. “I apologize for the intrusion, my Jarl, but I came here to give you urgent information about the dragon last seen in Helgen.” She eyed Irileth in relief as she put away her sword. 

Jarl Balgruuf quickly sat up straight, eager for fresh news about Helgen. “You know about the dragon? You were there in Helgen?” 

“Yes, I was there, my Lord. I...I was with my father and brothers to see the dragon sighting. The Imperials had captured Ulfric Stormcloak and before they had a chance to execute him, the dragon attacked. They finally managed to kill the dragon, but not before it killed almost everyone in Helgen.” 

“So, the rumors are true then? And, what happened to Ulfric?” 

“It appears he escaped,” she informed him. 

The Jarl sighed while his two advisors argued about what to do. He held up his hand to silence them. “Where are your father and brothers now? Why did they send you in their stead; a young girl?” 

She tried not to get angry at the Jarl. He still clung to the old ways. But her anger quickly turned to sadness. “I...they...they are all dead. They are dead at the hands of the Thalmor and no, not by the dragon as reports have indicated. They were all slaughtered along with some of our servants and guards without provocation!” Her voice shaking but trying not to cry. She could feel a delicate hand on her shoulder she knew to be Kaidan’s. 

“The Thalmor! What could possess them to do such a thing! Who was your father, girl?” 

“He was Ivar Bjornson, the arcane advisor to the Emperor.” 

“Ivar! I know him! I thought you looked a bit familiar. You must be Runa Storm-Bringer then, but you were much younger when I saw you last; just a child. I’m very sorry for your loss, lass. Ivar was a good man and true Nord. And, why did they not kill you as well,” he asked bluntly. 

She lied telling him she had no idea why they left her alive. _I am not ready to tell people what I did when the Thalmor attacked_. So, she left out the parts of her shout as well as the prison break. She wasn’t sure how the Jarl would react to such news. 

Irileth spoke up, “Sir, we need to send troops to Riverwood right away. The dragon may have been slain, but now we know they are no longer extinct and we don’t know how many other dragons are out there. We have to protect our Hold.” 

Proventus, a pompous balding man and the Jarl’s Steward, stepped up and tried to explain that this would be a provocation of war if they sent troops to Riverwood, “The Jarl of Falkreath will not take kindly to the intrusion. He will think you have chosen to side with Ulfric Stormcloak!” 

The Jarl silenced him. “I am NOT going to sit by and risk my people of being slaughtered! We will send troops immediately!” Which quickly ended the discussion. He looked back at Runa. “Go see Farengar who is my court wizard. I believe you can help him with his research on dragons and we need all the help we can get. His research is of the utmost importance right now.” 

Runa and Kaidan bowed and immediately headed over to see the Court Wizard, Farengar. He was a tall man clad in black robes and a black hooded scarf. His face was so covered up, all she could see was his very long chin and pointed nose. 

“The Jarl indicated that you could use my help in your dragon research,” Runa stated. 

Farengar looked up from his book and looked at Runa up and down. “Ah yes, the Jarl thinks you can help me with my research into the dragons? I also used to think the dragons were just legend when one just shows up! These are exciting times!” 

This angered Runa. _People are dying and he’s excited?!_ But she bit her tongue. 

“Yes, there is something you can do for me. It’s a fetch job in that I really mean delve into a dangerous ruin in search of an ancient stone tablet that may or may not be there.” 

“What does this tablet have to do with dragons?” she asked. 

“Finally, a thinker than the mere brutes I usually get from the Jarl! Excellent! You see, stories and rumors were circulating, and dismissed as impossibilities. But I began to search for information about dragons. I wondered where had they all gone and why are coming back? In my research, I learned of a stone tablet called a Dragonstone said to be housed in Bleak Falls Barrow. The Dragonstone is supposed to contain a map of dragon burial sites. I need you to go to Bleak Falls Barrow, find this tablet and bring it to me.” 

Runa had some experience delving into ruins with her brothers, but only small ones that were long cleared out of treasure and the dead that frequently roamed the halls, known as Draugr. Runa was not looking forward to facing one. She had heard that many could wield swords, bows and even have magic abilities. She knew this would not be easy and had to make a decision if this was something she and Kaidan could handle. _ I’m sure Kaidan can handle it, but me? _

Pulling Kaidan aside, she had to ask. “Can we do this? This may not be an easy thing. I really don’t have much experience in ruins that haven’t already been cleared out.” 

He thought for a second and he was worried about Runa’s inexperience in such things. But he knew that this was very important. “No, this will most likely not be easy. I have fought draugr before and it can be challenging. The key is to sneak and kill them from a distance; something you are very good at. If we need to retrieve this tablet and it’s of the utmost importance, then we should do it. Since this is all connected to dragons, maybe we might even find some answers for ourselves...if we are lucky.” 

Runa nodded. _ He certainly has more confidence in my abilities than I do. _ She turned back to Farengar. “Ok, it will be done. Do you have any advice for us and what to expect at Bleak Falls Barrow?” 

He shrugged. “Well, it is close to Riverwood and I had heard there are bandits around the area, and there most likely will be traps once you get inside, and probably draugr. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine.” 

“We better get some extra supplies in Riverwood before we enter the ruins, like potions. We want to make sure we are fully prepared for anything,” Kaidan suggested. 

Runa nodded then turned back to Farengar to make a request. “Can you enchant something for me before we head out?” 

“But, of course.” 

“I would like my bow enchanted with something that will cause draugr to burn, is that possible?” 

“That is easy enough. Give me a minute.” Farengar took her ebony bow over to a strange looking table full of candles and a skull of a troll in the center. She couldn’t see exactly what he was doing, but he soon returned with some sort of crystal on her bow. “There we are! Your enemies will now burn!” 

She thanked him and then they left for Riverwood.


	17. Bleak Falls Barrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew Kaidan, the all powerful warrior, would get so freaked out by spiders. Granted, they are very large spiders.
> 
> Runa and Kaidan finally find some strange connection to her shouts and his swords, even if they don't know quite what that connection is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, comments, kudos, bookmarks!

They were back in familiar territory. It only a couple of days ago they were in Riverwood staying at the Sleeping Giant Inn. It was still early enough that they could get the potions they needed and go straight to the ruin. 

The only store in town was the general store called simply enough Riverwood Trader. Once inside, it was a warm and inviting store with a roaring fire and wall to wall shelves full of all kinds of supplies. One could buy house supplies like glass or straw to spell books and food. It had everything one could need. 

When they walked in, they could see what appeared to be the store owner arguing with a beautiful dark-haired young lady. “No, we are not going to do anything about it. I’m not going to have you go off on some ‘adventure’ or thief-chasing to get it back. What’s done is done; end of story!” 

He looked up and cleared his throat when he saw Runa and Kaidan come in. “I’m sorry you had to hear the argument between me and my sister. What can I do for you?” 

“We are looking for some potions for our trip. Do you carry some health and stamina potions here?” Runa asked. 

“Of course, of course! I apologize for the mess. We had a bit of a break-in last night. We still have plenty of supplies, but it seemed the thieves were only interested in one thing, my golden dragon claw I keep here on display. They headed to Bleak Falls Barrow with it and my sister here wants to go chase after them!” He said this looking at her scoldingly. “But, it’s just too dangerous. I will have to find another way to get it back.” 

Handing some Septims to the store owner for the potions, Runa looked at Kaidan with questioning eyes. Kaidan did a quick nod, knowing what she was asking without having to ask. 

She looked back at the store owner, “We might be able to get it back for you. We are going that way anyway and if we see it, we can return it to you.” 

“You could do that?! Well, I have some money from my last shipment and if you bring the claw to me, it’s all yours.” 

Runa thanked him for the potions and headed out. So, now they have two jobs to do. Well, at least they could kill two birds with one stone. 

Bleak Falls Barrow wasn’t far away. It was a very large ruin with huge crumbling arcs towering on the cliffside of a mountain overlooking Riverwood. Runa looked up at it with dread. It was quite foreboding and ominous looking. _ This will be an adventure alright; an adventure I hoped doesn’t lead to our deaths._ But, if they are successful, a lot of Septims at the end of it and perhaps some answers.

They quickly moved on up the cliff until they finally reached the ruin. Runa looked up at the monstrosity and her feelings grew even more ominous. 

Half-way up, they noticed some bandits hanging about an old tower. There were two that they could see, so each one of them took a bandit out with their bows. They waited for a beat to see if any more showed up. When it looked like it was all clear, they headed up to the steps of the ruin. 

Kaidan put away his bow and pulled out his sword out of its scabbard to have ready. He always felt more comfortable using his sword. They reached the top of the massive stone stairs, looking around, weapons drawn.

“You will all die!!!” 

Runa heard the bandit and turned around too late with her bow as a bandit headed straight for her with his sword drawn. Kaidan quickly stopped him in his tracks with his sword; dead. Her heart was beating a little fast, appreciative of Kaidan’s quick reactions. 

Once inside, they could hear some voices and upon closer inspection revealed two bandits arguing. Runa and Kaidan quickly and quietly killed them with their bows. They both relaxed a bit in the temple once it was clear and took a closer look around. 

“I don’t see anything here. I guess it was too much to assume that the stone and claw would be close by.”

Kaidan shrugged. “It’s never that easy.”

They eventually entered a cavernous room and saw they saw a bandit fiddling with a lever. They pulled out their bows to take him out when suddenly poisoned dart arrows shot out of the walls killing him. Well, that was fortuitous, Runa thought. She realized that this was some sort of puzzle room. She remembered reading about them in books her father would force her to read on Nordic ruins. It was a trap puzzle, so if you don't solve it correctly, it would set the trap off and kill the person who solved the puzzle wrong. 

“We have to look around. See those three movable pillars on our left? They need to be moved to the proper setting before we can open the gate, like an intricate lock. There are usually clues so we know the proper setting of the pillars,” she explained. 

After they found their clues, they both went to turn the pillars to the appropriate animal from left to right. Once the pillars were set, Kaidan insisted he pull the lever in case things went wrong. He closed his eyes, pulled the lever and let out a sigh of relief to find he wasn’t poisoned to death. The gate was open. 

“I’m glad you’re the smart one,” he said with a nervous laugh. 

They inched their way forward deeper into the ruins with Kaidan periodically grabbing bits of treasure in some of the old burial urns. They started to see spider webs and spider sacs everywhere. Thick and sticky. It didn’t take long for them to be covered in webs as they pushed forward. Kaidan knew that all the webs and sacs didn’t bode well. In his experience, he knew that a sign of webs and sacs everywhere indicated a nest of giant frost spiders. He shivered inwardly and whispered to Runa.

“Be on the lookout for giant frost spiders.” Runa looked at him wide-eyed as she too shivered inwardly. She pulled out her bow and he had his sword ready. 

“Is someone there?! Get me out of here!!” They heard someone yelling. They quickly scanned the area to find a man trapped in a large web across the room ready to be a spider snack. “Please get me down!” Kaidan and Runa didn’t rush to the man. They had to be careful here. Approaching the man slowly while scanning every inch of the room, there didn’t seem to be any spiders here at the moment. 

As they got closer to the man to cut him down, there was this very large moving shadow that suddenly appeared on the floor. Both of them turned around quickly and looked up to see the biggest Frost Spider they have ever seen in their lives. 

This must have been a queen spider. She was as large as a small house, covered in thick coarse black hairs, spikes coming out of her legs and body, and two massive protruding fangs with several eyes. Both of them felt dread in the pit of their stomachs, but they had to deal with her before she wrapped them up as tasty morsels. 

Runa immediately started shooting off her burning arrows as quickly as she could hitting anything she could. Every arrow that connected to the large spider set it aflame, but it was going to take more than some arrows to take down a spider of that size. Once the spider was on the ground, it started shooting poison at Runa that was supposed to freeze prey long enough to wrap them in webbing. Runa kept dodging out of the way. She could tell when the spider was about it shoot it’s poison, so she was quick enough. 

While the spider was distracted, Kaidan started attacking it with his sword, starting with the legs to bring it down. He then repeatedly swung his sword downward cutting the spider down bit by bit. After a few minutes, about 20 burning arrows and multiple sword attacks, the spider lay dead. 

Kaidan felt ill. He was covered in green spider blood and guts. He wiped it off as much as he could. With his hands on his knees, he bent over, “Urgh, I think I’m going to be sick. This is disgusting...give me a foul, stinky draugr any day. I’m never going to get this out,” he complained, choking back some bile. “This is why I hate fucking spiders!” 

“You did it! You killed it, now cut me down before anything else shows up. If you help me down, I’ll show you. You won’t believe the power the Nords have hidden there.” 

“Who are you?” Runa asked while Kaidan was cutting him down. “I’m Arvel the Swift. Yes, yes, I took the claw for myself, but thank you for helping me.” 

Once Arvel fell to the ground, he quickly got up and started running. “Do you fools think I would share anything with you?!” Runa and Kaidan chased after him. Kaidan finally managed to catch up to the thief and cut him down with his sword. They searched the belongings of the dead thief and found the golden claw that belonged to the store owner. One errand down, now onto the next. 

Runa examined the claw for a bit before they moved on. “This must be some sort of key. Remember the puzzle room we were in with the animal pillars? This claw has similar animals, three of them. It must be a key to a puzzle of some sort. We must move deeper into the ruins to find out what it actually opens. My guess would be that is where we will find the Dragonstone.” 

As they entered the crypts, they quietly moved forward. Runa came up to a few corpses lying down that were still dressed in some sort of leather armor and looked more, whole, for lack of a better term. Strange she thought. The armor should have mostly disintegrated long ago. They looked out of place compared to the other corpses, so she decided to shoot an arrow at one of them; dead is dead, right? When it burst into flames, it growled loudly and she knew for certain it was a draugr. 

As they quietly approached, she just started shooting draugrs that looked similar to the first one, setting them on fire with her arrows. But as they went deeper into the crypts, the draugr she was killing were starting making too much noise. Soon more started rising, seeking out what was disturbing them from their slumber. Runa started firing at them quickly before they could reach her, while Kaidan was cutting them down as fast as he could. There were six of them, but it could have been much worse had she not taken out the others already. 

After grabbing any intact fired arrows, they kept moving deeper and deeper. Once they were past the crypts and through smaller room with a waterfall, they soon found themselves in a large cave with glowing mushrooms that helped light their way. The mushrooms gave a strange bluish glow throughout the cave, making it appear creepy, yet beautiful at the same time. Coming to a door, it brought them through another passageway, so they had no choice but to keep going. 

They were getting closer to something because they could both hear some sort of patterned slicing noise, they both assumed to be a trap. Once they reach the object of the noise, they found several large axes swinging back and forth in different patterns. This was going to be hard to get through. Runa quickly looked around to see if there was some sort of off switch, but there was nothing but stone. They would just have to go through one at a time and slowly. 

Runa went first. She let one of the swinging axes slide by and she quickly went past onto the next one. By the fourth axe, she made it through to wait on Kaidan, but it seemed that the draugr were not content to wait. Several instantly started coming at her. Taking up her bow she started firing off her arrows as quickly as she could. The first one was so close to her she wasn’t sure she could kill it on time, but she managed before targeting the next draugr. Two more were headed her way when Kaidan finally reached her, right shoulder bleeding heavily where one of the axes cut him. As if he could feel no pain, he lunged at the last two draugr quickly cutting them down. 

“I saw you were in trouble and rushed through the trap.” He hissed when she tried to look at the wound.

“Stop for a second, Kai!” While it was quiet for a minute Runa quickly dug into her pack to pull out some linen cloth and a healing potion. “Here take this while I wrap your arm.” 

“I’m fine...we need to keep moving,” he insisted while downing the potion. 

“It won’t take but a second and you are bleeding heavily. We need to stop the bleeding.” She quickly finished bandaging his arm then they moved on. 

“Surely we must be getting closer. This place is ridiculously massive!” She complained as she started gathering her arrows that weren’t damaged. 

Coming to a large door, they readied themselves for the unexpected when they went through the doors and saw it was just a large corridor and at the end of the corridor was a large stone circular door. It was quite clear, so they lowered their weapons and quickly went to the round stone door. 

“Ah, this must be the puzzle door the claw opens.” Runa moved the round stone rings to match the pattern on the claw and the door slowly opened when she inserted the claw into the keyhole. 

Once through the door, there was another cave leading to what appeared to be some large curved wall with a carved dragon head on it. There didn’t seem to be any draugr around, so they proceeded forward, but cautiously. 

Runa and Kaidan went up to the large wall and saw it had strange markings on it, similar to those on his sword! Suddenly, Runa started to glow, as she did with the dragon, feeling that pushing and pulling sensation. But, instead of feeling some entity, she felt some sort of knowledge and whispering, like some unrecognizable language. As with the dragon it ended as abruptly as it began. 

Kaidan was staring with his mouth agape. He recalled her story about what happened after the dragon, but to see it with his own eyes! She just glowed as some form of light swirled around her! “Are you OK?” was all he could manage to say. 

Runa nodded. “Yes, that was such a strange feeling. I...it was similar to what happened to me with the dragon but different...” 

Before she could finish, they heard a loud crash behind them as they quickly turned around to see a Draugr Overlord heading their way. Runa quickly pulled up her bow and started firing arrows as fast as she could. The draugr though was paying attention to Kaidan barreling its way and did something unthinkable, it “shouted” at Kaidan and sent him flying against the wall, knocking him out. 

“Kai, NO!” She turned her attention to the draugr and kept firing until it was on its knees. With her last arrow, she shot it the head and it was permanently down. 

She rushed over to Kaidan falling to her knees to see if he was breathing or not. Her flashbacks of sending the bandit flying to his death had Runa in a panic. A pulse, she was relieved. Kaidan slowly started to snap out of it, getting on his hands and knees shaking his head a bit. “Urgh, what was that?” 

“Are you OK? Are you in pain? Here take this,” handing him another health potion. 

“Yeah, I’m OK. Got the wind knocked out of me though. That never feels good. But, yeah, I’m OK,” he said again, downing the second potion. 

She hugged him as soon as he sat up, “I...I thought you died. I remember the bandit and thought the same thing happened to you.” 

“No, I’m ok,” he said a third time, hugging her back. He stood up and looked back at the wall. “So, you said, it was different this time?” changing the subject. 

“Yes, the last time was a really odd sensation, like I was absorbing this life force. It’s hard to describe. But this time it was like...like I was learning something. I could hear voices in my head, for lack of a better description, but that wasn’t quite it either. I just don’t know.” 

“The writing on the wall and my sword are similar. You said you were learning something; can you understand the writing at all?” he asked. But she just shook her head no. 

“Well, we at least know now that your sword is connected to whatever is going on here,” she said. She headed over to the Draugr Overlord and saw that it was holding something. She bent down to pick it up and saw it was some sort of stone tablet. “This must be the Dragonstone.” 

Looking a bit longer at the wall, they decided they needed to head back immediately to Farengar.


	18. Return to Dragonsreach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning to the Jarl, Kaidan and Runa are invited to stay for a feast and share their story with the nobles. After their meal, Runa invites Kaidan to her room, but...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to wrap up this quest section with two chapters today so we can move on the good stuff between Runa and Kaidan for my next post.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, kudos, comments and bookmarks!

It was evening by the time they got back to Riverwood. They returned the claw to the store owner who gave them 1,000 Septims for its return. Runa just gave it all to Kaidan

He didn’t know whether to be annoyed or grateful. “Runa, I can’t take all this. It’s not right.”

“I don’t need it,” she simply said

“You did as much as I did. At least keep half for yourself.”

“No, I don’t need it Kaidan. I’m not trying to take pity on you or be arrogant, but I just don’t need it. Please Kaidan, will you just take it and stop fighting me on this?”

He relented knowing he wasn’t going to win this one. “Aye, thanks…” He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by it all.

She could sense his embarrassment. She stood closely next to him and looked up. “I’m sorry, Kai. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just wanted you to have it to put it towards your own journey. You earned it. This isn't charity. But if you only want half, so be it.”

He just nodded and gave her half. It made him feel a bit better by it. 

Grabbing their horses from the stables they raced their way back to Dragonsreach with the Dragonstone.

They reached Whiterun by the next afternoon, their horses as exhausted as they were. Reaching the stables, they handed their horses to the stable hand to feed and water them. It didn’t take long before they reached the doors of Dragonsreach and straight for the Court Wizard. 

They could hear talking between Farengar and some cloaked woman, hiding her face with her hood.

“As you can clearly see, the terminology is First Era or even earlier. I believe this is just a copy, but still dating back to just after the Dragon War. I will use this to cross-reference the names,” Farengar explained to the strange woman.

“I’m glad you are making progress because my employers are expecting answers,” she said curtly.

“No worries, even the Jarl himself is now involved, so I can devote most of my time to the research.”

“Time is running out, Farengar. This isn’t just some theory now. Dragons have returned.”

“Yes, yes. Don't worry...”

He was interrupted by Runa and Kaidan’s return. “Ah! You are back and didn’t die I see! Excellent! My associate here will be pleased to see your handiwork. She is the one who discovered its location.”

Runa looked over at the cloaked woman, “Who might you be?”

The strange woman completely ignored Runa. “Farengar, send me a copy as soon as you decipher it.” With that she headed out, remaining a mystery.

The Jarl walked in as soon as the mystery woman walked out, “I thought you had returned! What news do you bring? Did you find the stone?”

“Yes, my Jarl,” Runa simply said. 

“Excellent! Farengar, get to work on it right away.” Turning to Runa and Kaidan. “Please, I will have my Steward show you to your rooms. I insist you stay here tonight. Feel free to clean up and get some rest. We can discuss more tonight at dinner and you can tell us all about your adventure to Bleak Falls Barrow.”

With that, the balding snobby little man, Proventus, showed up and led them to their rooms, “I will have a servant come up and take your clothing and armor to be cleaned. In the meantime, I will take the liberty of providing you with some clean clothes for dinner.” Kaidan and Runa went to each of their rooms to get cleaned up and take a nap before dinner. They were quite exhausted.

When Kaidan woke up, he found a beautifully embroidered tunic in green lined with a fur collar, some soft cloth pants and suede boots. This was probably the nicest thing he has ever worn in his life and he was highly embarrassed to wear it, but he knew he had to out of respect for the Jarl. 

When he was done fixing his half-bun as best he could, he heard a light knock on his door. Opening it, he saw Runa standing there. She was exquisite. Her dress was deep blue with red and gold trim, a matching amulet and she had a gold circlet in her braided hair. Her long wavy bangs falling below her chin, framing her face. This is what a true noblewoman looked like, he thought, pushing down pangs of doubt. He must have been staring at her for a while for she asked, “Aren’t you going to let me in?” 

“Y...Yes, please, s...sorry...I...I. You just look…”  _ Gods, what does she do to me? I can’t even talk. _

“Thank you, Kaidan, I understand. You don’t need to finish as you are clearly struggling to talk right now,” she teased him. “But I must say, you look incredibly handsome right now in your green tunic, despite you tugging at the collar wishing you were wearing something else.” She was adjusting his clothes a bit and patted his chest with her hands. Still smiling and looking up at him, he bent his head down to give her a light kiss on her full lips. 

“I don’t know what you do to me, but I sometimes seem to be at a loss for words.” 

She blushed a bit at that. She wanted to say something witty, but stopped herself. It probably would have ruined the moment. Instead she asked him, “How do you feel? Do you still hurt from yesterday?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m always better when you’re close.” He grabbed her close to him.

“Oh, NOW you are the smooth talker. And, here I thought you were incapable of talking a second ago,” she teased again, unable to help herself trying to keep her new found shyness at bay.

He just smiled, “ready to go down to eat with the Jarl himself?”

“Ready.”

They walked down the stairs hand-in-hand. This is something she was used to, but he wasn’t. He was very nervous and his hands were starting to get clammy, but she never let go or left his side. They were seated closest to the Jarl and were served pheasant with roasted vegetables and the Firebrand Wine paired perfectly with their meal.

They got to recount their story at Bleak Falls Barrow much to the crowds’ awe. Everyone was captivated by their tale, including the Jarl, especially when they reached the end of the battle with the Draugr Overlord, leaving out what happened to her with the wall. 

When they finished their story, everyone clapped and the Jarl stood up, “I would like to present Runa Storm-Bringer and her companion, Sir Kaidan, a token of my appreciation: 200 Septims each and my family shield. You have gone beyond what was expected and have returned to us successful!” There was much cheering and clapping as Runa and Kaidan smiled a bit embarrassed by all the attention.

As the evening wore on, Runa and Kaidan found themselves both a bit tipsy from the Firebrand Wine. They did a lot of talking quietly and closely with each other, which appeared quite intimate leaving many to whisper and wonder who Runa’s handsome companion really was. He looked like some giant exotic nobleman from a far-off land. 

As the night wore on, they finally excused themselves to go back to their rooms. Kaidan walked Runa to her door as they held each other for a while. He looked down and kissed her once more before heading off to his room. She grabbed his hand as he was walking away, “Will you come in, just for a bit?” She looked askingly at him.

“As much as I would want nothing more, we can’t. This isn’t the place...too many prying eyes.” With that, he walked away back to his room trying to avoid her disappointed look.


	19. Wants and Needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do Runa and Kaidan finally connect? He pushed her away, too afraid of affecting her reputation, but...One thing is certain, Kaidan feels like an idiot.
> 
> No really things are finally heating up and connecting between Kaidan and Runa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for comments, kudos and bookmarks

Back in his room he dressed in his night tunic provided for him, grabbed a book to sit by the fire to read for a bit before sleep. Anything to distract him at that point. He was really beating himself up. 

_ A beautiful woman asked me to join her in her room and I actually turned her down when I wanted her more than anything! How stupid can I be? _

Who cares what these people think? She was a noblewoman and it didn’t seem to bother her! What was wrong with him? Well, what’s done is done trying to convince himself and he went back to reading his book with a heavy sigh, hoping there will be another chance. 

An hour later, there was a light knock on his door. It was so soft he wasn’t sure he heard right. The second knock was a bit louder and realized someone was definitely at his door. He opened it to find Runa looking up at him dressed in a beautiful soft black robe trimmed with black fur around the collar and cuffs of her sleeves. Her long wavy hair was out of its bun and braids, flowing across her shoulders and cascading down her back. Her black hair against her black robe made her fair skin and blue eyes just pop, and her full lips seemed redder than they usually were. Unable to speak, his imagination already running through his head wondering what was under that robe. 

Since he was stuck in place and didn’t invite her in, she shoved him back inside his room. “Be damned other people,” she said, quickly shutting his door behind her. 

It took her almost an hour to talk herself into doing this. _ I can’t believe I’m doing this. _ Pushing him back into his chair by the fire, he sat down just looking up at her curiously and expectantly not sure what she was doing at first. His imagination had clear ideas. She stood in front of him between his legs and let her robe slowly and gently fall off her naked shoulders to show him she had nothing on underneath. 

“Temptress,” he whispered, half in jest, swallowing hard, but didn’t hesitate to sit up and gently touched her shoulders feeling how soft they were. He could smell the lavender all over her skin, breathing it in deeply. There was no way he was going to waste his opportunity this time. _ You lucked out this time. _

She was watching him touch her, watching his eyes and trying to imagine what he was feeling; thinking. Her heart was beating so fast and her stomach was fluttering from nervousness and excitement. 

He traced his fingers down from her shoulders onto the bulge of her breast peeking out from under the robe she was holding up with her arms. It was as soft and delicate as he imagined. Gently and slowly he started to pull down her robe from her left breast, watching her to see if she would stop him or if it made her uncomfortable. When she didn’t stop him and continued to watch to see what he would do, he continued until her breast was fully out. He swallowed hard and tentatively touched her breast and lightly rubbed her nipple. Looking up he could see her eyes were closed, mouth parted open and breathing a bit heavily. 

_ Oh, that feels nice. If this is any indication of how it’s going to be, I don’t want him to stop. _

Sensing she liked that he took that as a cue to move forward. Sitting up higher he pulled out her right breast and with both hands caressed and kissed them while inhaling her scent. He was already very hard right now under his night tunic. It didn’t take much to get him excited around her. Her breasts were so beautiful, firm and full. The nipples were fairly small as he slowly moved his mouth to kiss one. She moaned lightly at this as he took his tongue and started lightly licking and sucking each nipple. 

_ I was not expecting that to feel so good. _ Runa could feel she was already wet between her legs. His gentle touches on her breasts felt so good, more than she expected it to. His gentle sucking caused her to breathe heavily and she felt like she was floating on air. She let a moan escape her lips when he gently nibbled on one of her nipples. 

He pulled down her robe further, it was still wrapped around her waist, but her whole top half was exposed now and arms were pulled out of the sleeves. He sat back for a minute to look at her as she stood there. She felt herself blush and smile at him a bit at this; suddenly looking away shyly and wondering how long he was going to stare at her before he continued. 

_ The Gods, she’s so beautiful. I could look at that all day. _

He liked watching her blush and her sudden shyness at his gaze; it made him smile. He sat up again, moved his hands to her firm ass and pulled her closer to him as he lightly kissed her tight stomach. He was surprised by how strong it was. He assumed it was from all the training and learning to sneak through the years. She was a lot stronger than she looked. He inhaled her skin deeply while kissing her stomach, moving his mouth back up to her breasts. 

He decided to take it a step further. While kissing her stomach, he slowly slipped his hand inside her robes and between her legs. He touched her on her pearl feeling so much wetness that it made him even harder than he was before. She moaned loudly and instinctively moved her hips as he gently rubbed it. 

Looking back up at her to watch her reaction, he removed his hand and reached to each of her arms as he lifted them away from her body letting her robe fall to the ground. He just stared at her naked beautiful body, taking it all in. 

She was relatively muscular in a lean way. She had a long thin waist with beautiful hips and very strong legs. Even if she weren’t so beautiful, he would have been enthralled by her. There was something between them, he still hasn’t been able to figure out yet. Something he has never felt before. This strange closeness they have in just such a short time was new to him. He wasn’t sure if it was the same for most people, but his instincts told him it wasn’t. 

Runa started to feel a deep blush creep again as her robe fell to the ground. Since she had never done this before, a few doubts were lingering in her head; some uncertainties, but not from doing this with Kai. She felt this was right. If she were to do this, it would be with him. But she had so many questions.

_ Is this going to hurt? Will I enjoy it? Will I be able to please him? _

She didn’t know what she was doing at all, but he seemed pleased so far and he made her feel like this was normal and comfortable. Though she hadn’t known him for very long, she felt whole with him; like this was meant to be, so she had let him remove her robe to see where it took them next. 

“Kai, I think you should know I’ve never been with a man before...uhm, like this.” She tried not to cover up her body when she talked to him about this.

“Aye, I thought as much. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, OK?”

She just nodded at that.

He pulled her a bit forward again to kiss her stomach and lightly licked around her navel area. He grabbed a hand and kissed her palm while she lightly touched his rough face from his beard growing in with her fingers, looking down at him. 

Kaidan gently pushed her back a bit so he could stand up and deftly picked her up her to carry her to his bed. He gently laid her down on her back while he too got onto the bed and straddled over her legs looking down at her. Her thick wavy hair was spread across the pillow and her arms were slightly laying above her head watching to see what he would do next. 

He could see how nervous she was. He bent down close to her face and kissed her full mouth. When she parted her lips, he inserted his tongue and she responded with hers. She moved her hands to grasp his hair to pull him in closer to her. 

As he pulled away from their kiss, he lightly bit her bottom lip and started kissing her neck, cheeks, chin and down to her neck. He planted light kisses slowly going down to her body until his mouth reached her breasts. 

Again, he started grabbing one breast at a time to lightly squeeze and suck on. She was arching her back a bit so he would take more of her breast into his mouth and roughly grabbing his hair, which he eagerly complied, responding to her body. 

When he was moving down her body, she quickly grabbed his nightshirt to pull it off. He took it from her and threw it to the ground. As he was sitting up straddling her, she gently started touching his chest; the human boulder. His chest and stomach had a lot of scars and she gently touched each one, it was also virtually hairless, very smooth and very muscular. 

Lightly she traced her fingers down his strong stomach and looked down to see his rock-hard shaft. This really made her stomach flutter and swallow hard.

_ Oh my. I have only seen them in pictures and they were never standing up like that. _

There was black hair there, and he was long and thick. She reached out to lightly touch it. To see what it felt like as he looked down and watched her explore him. It was so very hard, but the skin was very soft and warm; the tip was slightly wet. 

_ I better stop her before I can’t stop myself. _

He gently removed her hands before he found himself ending things too soon and pressed them to the bed. He leaned back down on her to continue his kissing, licking and nibbling down her body. Her eyes were closed as she roughly grabbed his hair again and arching her back to his kisses. This feeling was so much better than she expected. All her senses were alive, yet her mind slightly dulled as she gave in to this feeling. Continuing down to kiss her hips... 

BANG, BANG, BANG!!! 

“FUCK! WHAT NOW?!!” Kaidan growled loudly. _ Of course, someone has to interrupt! _ Clearly pissed off, he got up, grabbed his night tunic and put it on then headed over to Runa and pulled the covers on top of her. 

He went to the door and abruptly opened it, “For the love of...WHAT?!” 

Irileth was completely unfazed by his anger and informed him that there was a dragon near the city. “We cannot find Runa Storm-Bringer, so we came to you to see...” She paused as she looked passed Kaidan’s shoulder to see Runa sitting up in his bed covering herself with his blanket. She cleared her throat. “The Jarl wants to speak with you both immediately. Get dressed and meet us down in the throne room.” 

He slammed the door a bit harder than he intended and was about to grumble some more, but softened when he watched her put her robe back on, “I guess...I guess some other time, huh?” He looked at her hopefully. 

She went up to him, touched his face and gently kissed him. “I’m not going anywhere, Kai.” With that, she left to get dressed as he went to grab his now clean armor, instantly deflated literally and figuratively. I guess dragons are not content to wait, he thought irritably.


	20. The Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, if anyone who plays Skyrim knows this part :). Runa is off to kill a dragon, but at least she has Kaidan by her side since she's never killed a dragon before and the last one was the reason her family was killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I really appreciate the comments, kudos and bookmarks!!

Runa and Kaidan rushed to the Jarl. He was listening to one of the guards at the watchtower. “Is the dragon attacking now?” 

“No sir, we saw it flying around over us, but it hasn’t attacked yet. I rushed over here as fast as I could to inform you.” 

“Well done, son. Go get yourself some food and drink and relax. You did a brave thing today.” 

The guard nodded proudly, bowed and left to get some food. 

“Irileth, we must deal with this dragon. Please do not rush into things and do something rash. I want you returning to us.” The Jarl clearly worried for her life. 

“Sir, I will not let you down,” she bowed. 

The Jarl turned to Runa. “You are the only one here who knows anything about dragons at all. I need you there to help. Can you do that for me; for Whiterun?” 

Runa was terrified, especially after her last encounter with a dragon, but she bowed and headed out to follow Irileth. Kaidan grabbed her arm quickly to stop her before she could go any further.

“Runa, wait...” 

She turned to him with an urgency in her eyes. “What?!” She knew what he was already going to say.

“Runa, we don’t have to do this. Neither of us know what it will be like to fight a dragon. You may have seen one, but you didn’t fight it and remember what happened last time.” 

“Kai, I _ have _ to do this. I’m absolutely terrified, but...but it must be done.” 

“I...I know; I’m terrified too. But not for me. I’m terrified I...I don’t want something to happen to you.” 

“And, I’m terrified for you too. You do not have to come. It’s not your fight. And, it won’t be just me out there alone. I wish we had time to talk about this more, but I have to go.” 

“Dammit, don’t do that. Do you think for one second I would not come with you?” 

With that they both ran after Irileth to meet her by the front gate. When they found her, she was giving a quick speech to her terrified guards.

“None of us have ever seen a dragon before. But we are honor-bound to fight it, even if we fail and die. This dragon is threatening our homes and our families! Can you call yourself Nords if you ran from this monster? Are you going to let me face this dragon alone?” 

After her speech, they all yelled, rallying themselves for battle. All of them took off running towards the watchtower. Runa reached the tower first and saw it was already in ruins and there was fire everywhere from the dragon attack. She saw one of the guards alive and ran to him.

“Where is it?” 

“It came swooping down, blasted us several times and took two of our guards who were trying to run. I haven’t seen it since.” He was clearly in fear. 

She patted him on the shoulder for reassurance and letting him know he wasn’t alone in this battle or in his fear. 

They suddenly heard this loud whooshing sound and a roar coming from the mountains off to their right. The dragon was headed directly for them. Everyone readied their bows. Runa was on top of a crumbling pillar and started firing her arrows as soon as the dragon was close enough. 

It flew by blasting its fire on the ground killing a couple of guards and she could hear their painful screams. She tried to tune out the screams and could also feel the extreme heat of its fire. 

Kaidan was yelling at the guards. “Hold your arrows! Hold! Do not waste them. Wait until you have a clear shot!” 

As the dragon turned around and flew back at them, Runa fired off three successive shots at its underbelly as it flew by. By the time it turned back around ready for another blast, it was hit by more arrows from the guards, which finally brought it down to the ground. 

The dragon was angry and vile, shooting out fire and snapping at anyone who got too close to it. It was massive and gray in color covered in a spiked armor for skin. They all kept firing their arrows and as Runa readied her last shot, it looked right at her and actually talked! 

“Dovahkiin? Nooooo...!” Then she fired it in the head as it died right there. 

Everyone started clapping and cheering that it was finally over and that they were able to actually kill a dragon, giving them much needed hope. 

_ No, no, no, not again. _

The swirling energy enveloped her body making her glow. Kaidan was watching all this happen. He could see this energy leaving the dragon and flowing right into Runa...everyone was watching. When it was done, Runa’s heart pumped heavily and she was wary of the people watching her; afraid of what they might do. The last time anyone saw that her family was slaughtered. 

“I have never seen anything like that in all my years,” a guard said in amazement and slight fear. 

“You are Dragonborn!!” said another guard in awe. “You are like the legends of old. Like the stories my father used to tell me. You are born with dragon blood just like Tiber Septim! A Dragonborn who can take the soul of a dragon!” 

“What...what do you mean?” Runa asked. 

He looked at her in continued amazement, “Yes, you saw what you did. We all did. You took the dragon’s very life force. You should be able to shout. That is what a Dragonborn does; they shout. Try to shout.” 

Runa looked at him doubtfully, but he was the only one so far who had any sort of answers for her, and the one with the least fear in his eyes. So, she turned away from everyone, tried to clear her head, took a deep breath, and with every fiber of her being...”FUS!” She could feel this massive amount of energy pouring out of her body, completely uprooting several shrubs and flinging large stones with her shout. 

“Yes, I KNEW it! You are definitely Dragonborn! There hasn’t been a Dragonborn in hundreds of years!” the guard said excitedly. 

Runa still wasn’t sure what it all meant, but they needed to get back to the Jarl. She and Kaidan left as the guards were arguing about what they had just witnessed. 

Just when they got into Whiterun, everyone heard this thundering noise. At first Runa thought it was some sort of thunder or lightning crash, but the skies were clear and there was a word floating on the noise. A word she just recently heard from the dragon; ‘Dovahkiin.’

Something awakened in the world and in her, but there was no time to think about it. She had to get to the Jarl and inform him the dragon was dead. 

“So, what happened at the watchtower? Was the dragon there?” the Jarl asked anxiously. 

“Yes, the watchtower is destroyed, but we killed the dragon.” 

“I knew I could count on Irileth! But there has to be more to it than that,” he stated. 

Finally deciding to tell the Jarl the truth. “When the dragon died, I...I absorbed something from it. Some kind of power.” 

“So, it’s true. It was YOU the Greybeards were summoning!” 

“The Greybeards? I remember something from my readings about them, but I have to admit I never paid much attention,” Runa shrugged. 

“Masters of the Way of the Voice. They live in seclusion high on the slopes of the Throat of the World.” 

“What do the Greybeards want with me?” she asked. 

“The Dragonborn is uniquely gifted in the Voice; the ability to focus your vital essence into a Thu’um, or a Shout. If you really are Dragonborn, they can teach you how to use your gift. I would not delay in going to go see them,” the Jarl explained in fascination. 

The Jarl suddenly stood up, “You have yet again done a great deed for me and my city, Dragonborn. By my right as Jarl, I name you Thane of Whiterun. It is the greatest honor that is within my power to grant. I also grant you this weapon from my personal armory to serve as your badge of office. We are honored to have you as Thane of our city, Dragonborn.” 

He handed her his personal axe. “I would also like to offer you the opportunity to purchase property in the city. I understand you are a noblewoman coming from much wealth and the house isn’t what you are used to as it is quite small, but it would be an honor to have you live in the city here. Talk to my Steward about making the arrangements.” 

“Thank you, my Jarl. I don’t know what to say,” as she bowed. 

Kaidan looked at her, smiling, “Quickly moving up in the world, I see.” After a minute, he asked if she was alright after the dragon and everything; she nodded. 

“It’s good to have some answers for you and perhaps the Graybeards can help you even more.” 

She nodded still frightened by what it all meant. She wasn’t sure she really wanted this “gift.”


	21. A New Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters again.
> 
> Don't let the chapter title fool you. Lot's of adrenaline and lost opportunities and some privacy? Nothing was stopping them this time.
> 
> Oh, and probably NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I really appreciate the comments, kudos and bookmarks! <3

After accepting the keys from the Jarl’s Steward, they went to inspect her new home. It was a small little cottage type house with lovely flowers growing all around it. It was situated right in the middle of town next to the blacksmith. Proventus, the Steward, claimed the house was called Breezehome by the previous owners.

Runa unlocked the door and entered the small house. It was sweetly decorated with beautiful blue pottery and hand-woven baskets on the walls. In the center as soon as they walked in, was the cooking area with a fire pit in the middle. The Steward made sure they had all the supplies they needed for cooking.

There was a set of wooden stairs leading up to rooms above and past the stairs was a table and chairs for eating. Tucked away behind the stairs was a small privy with a washbasin. They headed upstairs to check out the other rooms. On the left was another room with a desk and chair so she can work or write. And, to the right was a small hallway that led to the bedroom. It was a modest room with some shelving, a chest for clothes, bedside tables, and the large bed featured a beautiful hand-woven green quilt.

“This will do quite nicely. Yes, it’s the smallest house I have ever lived in, but it’s cozy...and it's actually mine,” she said happily, feeling like she’s actually accomplished something.

She turned around to walk out of the room when Kaidan behind her braced his arm against the doorway, stopping her in her tracks. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. The look in his eyes was filled with some sort of fiery hunger that told her exactly what he wanted and it made her eyes wide and she blushed brightly. 

They were both filled with so much excitement and adrenaline from that evening and were suddenly in a rush to finish what they started earlier before the dragon so rudely interrupted things.

They started kissing each other as if they were starving, and maybe they were. It was fast and hard, and there may have been light biting and scratching involved. 

Runa, mouth red and a bit swollen from the hard kissing, fumbled with Kaidan’s armor. She couldn’t remember how to remove it before he stopped her and started unclipping the heavy metal and leather pieces off of him. Letting his armor unceremoniously fall loudly to the floor, he started untying Runa’s leather corset and tunic, roughly yanking her tunic over her head. As her breasts popped out, he grabbed her close to him holding her arching back and lunged at her breasts with his mouth. 

In between kissing and sucking on her breasts, “if anyone...interrupts this time...I’m...I’m..mmmm...going to put an...an arrow...mmm...through their eye,” he said with his mouth full. 

Runa laughed out loud until he nibbled a bit too hard on one of her nipples causing her to throw her head back and moaned loudly, but she didn’t stop him. The pain felt strangely good and made her wetter than she already was. She straightened looking down at him while he was kissing her breasts and removed his tunic as well. After throwing it to the ground in a heap, she grabbed his head roughly back onto her breasts.

Kaidan suddenly went down hard on his knees and started fumbling with her leather pants. Realizing her boots were still on, “Bloody...” he grumbled loudly and pushed her backwards onto the bed to remove them. Working his way back to her pants, he roughly pulled them off of her. As soon as her pants were off, she was expecting him to kiss her again, but he roughly spread her and lunged his face right in between her legs.

Runa yelped loudly as she felt his tongue shoved into her folds and lick around her pearl. She arched her back forcing herself more into his mouth while grabbing his hair roughly and pushing his head down harder. She lifted her legs and draped them over his shoulders while he spread her thighs farther apart and licked her wetness. 

Kaidan wasn’t quite sure what he was doing, but he knew how everything worked on a woman. He has never spent any time kissing a woman between her legs despite being with some women before. All he knew was that he wanted to be kissing and licking Runa there. She was so wet as he ate it up with his tongue, tasting her. He couldn’t get enough.

As he moved his tongue, it rolled over her pearl. She moaned loudly and her body started shuddering under his mouth as if she were shot with a jolt of electricity. Responding to her body, he continued to lick that one area, spreading her folds apart so his tongue could reach further. 

Her hips started moving and gyrating, trying to get as close to his mouth and tongue as she could. She was grabbing his hair a little bit too hard, but he didn’t stop. When he went a different direction, “no, no...go back, go back...” he heard her moan. So, he went back to that area and he could tell something was happening when this bead popped out and started swelling and pulsing. 

Holding her breath, she was moaning so loudly now while her body was practically convulsing. He dug in even further with this, sensing her strong excitement. He knew he was doing something right. As soon as she started to slow down, she tried to lift his head off of her. Barely able to speak, “no...no. Ah! No...m...more...p...please.”

He looked up to check on her. He saw that she had some tears in her eyes.  _ What did I do wrong? _ He went up to her about to ask her what was wrong and if he hurt her? But she just grabbed his wet face and kissed him deeply with her tongue, tasting herself in his mouth. She stopped, breathing heavily. 

“Just...give me a second. To the Nines! I...I don’t know what you did, but...that was the best thing I have ever felt in my life!”

“All I know is I just wanted you there as soon as your pants were off. I’m glad it was OK. I thought I hurt you for a minute.” He smiled at her apparent pleasure, feeling quite proud of himself.

“OK? OK? Oh, Kai, it was more than OK. It was...how do I put it? It was perfection!”

He smiled and laid down on his back, his penis so hard and bulging through his leather pants. But he wasn’t sure if she was ready for any of that yet. 

She rolled onto her side, facing him. She was spent and partly brain-dead, but she wanted more. She wanted more of him and wasn’t ready to stop. She was lightly touching his muscular body and traveled her fingers gently down his stomach, slightly tickling him until she got to his hard mound through his pants. 

She wanted to try what he did to her. She wanted so badly to kiss him there and suck at him; to see if she could make him feel the way he made her feel. She knew enough to know it wouldn’t be the same for him as it was for her, so she would have to figure things out as she went.

He thought they were all done when she suddenly stood up to remove his boots and leather pants. He was so heavy and this wasn’t the easiest thing for her, but he helped her with them. She then jumped on top of him, spread his own legs and started kissing him on his stomach, lightly nibbling on his flesh as she went down.  _ Just follow his lead in what he did to me last time. _

Runa was a bit more tentative than Kaidan was. He just seemed so sure of himself. She could smell his manly musky smell; she couldn’t describe it any other way and inhaled deeply. It was a good smell, surprising herself that it turned her on again.

Not expecting anything else, Kaidan excitedly propped up his head on a pillow so he could watch her explore him. He watched her kiss him and nibble at his stomach, sit up examining his hardness, inhaling him and touching it. He loved the curious and exploratory look on her face.  _ Dibella is favoring me tonight _ . 

Runa started licking his shaft up and down with her tongue. He was large and she wasn’t sure she could actually fit it all in her mouth. But she would try. She bent farther down and started licking his balls, which made him moan; OK, he seems to like that. She had to pay close attention to how his body responded so she would know if she was doing something right or not. 

She cupped his balls and started rubbing them when she heard, “just gently, Runa, they are...uhm, sensitive.” She blushed a bit at that, but continued to rub them more delicately and licking them again, gently sucking on one then the other. She moved her mouth back to his hard shaft, licking his wet tip. He responded with that, moving his hips around.

She delayed no longer and put him in her mouth. He hissed and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but his hips started moving up and down. OK, so it was a good thing? She moved her mouth up and down as far as it would go in rhythm with his hip movement. 

Tightening her mouth around his shaft and used her tongue as she moved up and down. She could hear him breathing heavier and faster. She looked up to see if he liked what she was doing and saw that he was watching her. She blushed heavily. Her watching him made him more excited and he started to moan as she was sucking harder and faster to his hip movements. 

He wanted to throw his head back and just let it happen. It wouldn’t take much at this point after the past couple of days, but he wanted to hold out a bit longer. It felt pretty good considering this was her first time. 

Her mouth was so warm and wet, and with her tongue grasping him tightly was almost too much. He kept watching her though and he almost lost it when he saw her watching him in his excitement, but he held on. The warm feeling enveloping his body felt like electricity coursing through him. 

When he felt he couldn’t hold out anymore, he started to move his hips faster and grabbed her hair and head with both hands to move her head up and down faster while watching her quicken her pace on his shaft. She roughly curled her tongue around his tip as she dug the tip of her tongue into his hole, sucking it and he couldn’t take anymore. 

He moaned loudly and suddenly exploded into her mouth, which was a surprise to her. She wasn’t sure what to do, so instinctively she just swallowed it and kept moving up and down. It was thick and salty, and a bit strange, but it was Kai and he seemed to like it, so she sucked harder. He continued to pulse in her mouth while she swallowed until he was spent, but she kept at it and he had to gently stop her before it started to hurt.

She fell back onto the bed licking her lips, rolled onto her left side and laid her head on her folded arm looking at him with a questioning look on her face. She hoped she pleased him as much as he pleased her. He was sweating and trying to calm his breathing. Now his once hard shaft was smaller and flaccid. He eventually rolled over to look at her too and gently moved the hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. 

Suddenly she found herself shy. “Was...was that OK?”

He delicately touched her face and smiled at her. “Yes, it was great.” 

She smiled shyly. “I know it wasn’t perfect. I don’t know what I’m doing, Kai. You seem so confident and sure of yourself. No one ever told me about these things.”

“Hey, you did great. There are a lot of things I don’t know either. I don’t think anyone really has some sort of teacher for such things. It’s all a learning process. We just talk to each other about it and figure it all out, OK? You were amazing and it felt so good to be with you, being in your mouth and me tasting you. I hope we have a lot more times like that if that is OK with you.”

She nodded with that, but she was completely spent and fell asleep quickly. He gently pulled her closer to him and draped the quilt over them. She instinctively threw her leg and arm over him. He watched her sleep until he couldn’t stay awake any longer. Though it was the afternoon, they slept all the way through to the morning.


	22. A Day of Ease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa and Kaidan have been going non-stop since they met and want to just enjoy the day together.
> 
> And, who knew Kaidan could cook so well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, comments, kudos and bookmarks! It means a lot!

It was very early in the morning and the sun hadn’t risen yet. Kaidan sat in the chair watching her sleep under candlelight. She literally took over the entire bed and stole all the covers last night. He smiled wondering how such a small thing could take up so much space. 

She was completely naked lying face down on top of the covers and she was a sight to behold. He sighed, reluctantly put on his pants and headed downstairs to make them some breakfast when he would rather stay in bed with her, but he was no longer tired and they needed to eat.

He looked back at her in the doorway.  _ Although...no, I’ll let her sleep. _

He threw together some vegetables, wine, garlic, salt and beef into the pot and slowly simmered their meal. Normally it would have been some bread, cheese and fruit for breakfast, but they needed something a bit more hardy to eat this morning, so stew it was. There was already bread previously made when they got to the house, so he cut that up and put it on a plate ready for when she came down to eat.

He also had some water boiling in a large pot. He already filled up the washbasin several times, but one more should do before she was up and ready to bathe before eating. He knew how much she enjoyed being clean and smelling good. 

Looking up at the ceiling, he could hear her finally thumping around on the wood floors upstairs. She’s awake. 

She came downstairs in a simple quilted blue robe, yawning loudly. It was the smell that woke her up making her stomach growl. “Oh, something smells wonderful, Kai!” she exclaimed. 

They had completely forgotten to eat after their amazing afternoon then sleeping all through the night. Kaidan was cooking over the fire with his back turned to her. He was only wearing his pants and she had a good view of his back. She was suddenly reminded of how badly he really was wounded in that prison. Grateful that she helped him escape, not just for herself, but for him as well. There were so many lacerations and gouges in his skin; hardly a place on his back that wasn’t marred. It was healing over nicely, but it was still an angry red with dark areas where it was scabbing over. 

She suddenly felt so much pain for him, unable to imagine what sort of suffering he had to endure at the hands of the Thalmor. She went up to him and lightly touched his back. He flinched a little, but didn’t say anything. 

“Your back is starting to heal, but...I am struggling with why it all happened to you and how they could do such a horrible thing.” Getting closer to him, she started kissing his back ever so lightly. 

He stopped stirring the food and turned around to kiss her. “I try not to think about it,” he said, dismissively. “I drew you a bath and made us breakfast. Get in before it gets cold,” he said to change the subject. 

“A week and a half in and you are already spoiling me. You know you’re in trouble now, right?” she yelled back at him as she headed to her bath. She let go of the fact that he was being intentionally evasive. 

_ I think his back is bothering him more than he’s letting on and it wasn’t just the pain _ .

When she got out, she had tied her long, wet hair to the side while her bangs hung in wet waves, mostly to the left partially covering her own scars. She will probably never know how she got them in the first place. It happened somewhere between being knocked over the head and before she woke up in the prison. She then put on her robe and headed to the table where Kaidan had their food ready.

“I’m sorry if this isn’t very good,” he said.

She took a bite of stew with the bread, “Oh, this is delicious! What are you on about? If I am to be on my own, you need to teach me this recipe. I can cook a few things, but nothing as good as this.”

“That I can do,” he said smiling, happy she liked it. He reached over to pull her robe off her shoulder so he could kiss it, inhaling her lavender scent.

While eating she looked at him, “so, what’s the plan for today or do we even have a plan?” She put down her spoon and turned to him closely, kissing his chest while looking up at him coyly. “Ooorrrr, we could just spend the rest of the day in bed.”

He laughed, “As much as I would love to spend the entire day in bed with you, I thought today would be a good day to take it easy. We have been going non-stop for well over a week and we should take the time to breathe a bit. 

What I would like to do is take you to the smith and get you fitted with some proper armor since we made a few Septims from our recent adventures. You move very well in your armor, if one can even call it that, but I keep feeling like I should jump in front of every arrow or blade that comes your way. I would feel better if you had something a bit...sturdier.”

“Sounds good and while we are at it then, I would like to see if I can order to have a sword and an axe made. I would like to have them on hand for closer combat, just in case.”

With that, they finished their meal, got dressed and headed right next door to the blacksmith. The blacksmith was surprisingly a woman and a beautiful one at that, even covered in black soot. Adrianne, she called herself, fitted Runa for some proper leather armor and there were to be small metal plates sewn into it. It was going to be heavier than she was used to, but it will be something stronger, yet as flexible as she was. Runa also ordered an Ebony one-handed sword and axe. Adrianne informed them it would all be ready in about a week.

When they were done at the blacksmith, they retrieved their horses from the stables and decided to go for a nice, relaxing ride through the moors of Whiterun Hold. It was a beautiful day and the sun was out. You could see the snowy mountains as far as the eye could see and the moors were covered in wildflowers. It was a perfect day for horseback riding. 

Not a mile out, they suddenly heard clashing swords and a loud roar. Of course, as curious as they were, they had to investigate.

They reached a farm and saw several warriors, two men and two women fighting a giant. Runa had seen giants from afar herding their mammoths, but she was always told to stay away, so she’s never seen one up this close! 

He was destroying the farm and killing the chickens for some reason. He swung his giant club, hitting the chickens and they went flying through the air. She would have laughed were it not for the fact the farmer’s livelihood was being destroyed. The giant was bigger than a house, filthy with a scraggly beard and hair. It was also covered in these strange patterned scars. 

Whiterun was already struggling with crops, so these warriors were hired to stop him. It was not easy because one blow from the giant’s club could instantly kill a person. The warriors were taking turns attacking the giant and quickly stepping back so the giant didn’t have one particular warrior to smash. It would get distracted by one warrior while another attacked it from behind. 

Giants weren’t exactly the smartest or fastest creatures in Skyrim, but that didn’t mean one should underestimate them. Both Kaidan and Runa jumped off their horses quickly and ran to help. Runa pulled out her bow and Kaidan his sword.

Kaidan ran off to help the warriors while Runa stayed back, firing her arrows. With their help, the giant finally fell with a loud, thunderous noise; dead. 

A beautiful, but fierce looking red-headed woman with war paint across her face came up to Kaidan and Runa to thank them for their help. “Well done. We have been trying to bring down this giant for a while and, as you can see, it was no easy task. So, we appreciate the help.”

Runa could see the other warriors approaching them. A very tall and tough blonde woman also with war paint on her face and two large, very handsome dark-haired men that appeared to be identical twins. They all greeted each other.

“Who are you people,” Runa asked.

“I am Aela and this is Njada. The two brutish twins over here are Farkas and Vilkas. We are all part of the Companions, a Warrior’s Guild,” she explained.

After introductions were made, Aela informed them that the Companions were accepting strong members like themselves and that if they were ever interested, to find Kodlak Whitemane, their Harbinger at Jorrvaskr, about joining.

As the Companions walked off, Runa asked Kaidan what he thought about the Companions.

“Well, I wouldn’t say no to a blade made of Skyforged Steel. We can talk to this Kodlak to tell us more on the Champions, if that is what you want. As far as mercenaries go, you could do worse. But personally, I am always reluctant to join mercenaries from personal experiences.” He didn’t bother to explain what those experiences were exactly.

They rode their horses through the countryside for another hour longer, feeling refreshed from an easy day then headed back to the little house. Once they got back, Runa put on a casual blue dress that matched her eyes with a leather corset and Kaidan removed his armor leaving just his pants and his tunic on. When they were done, they headed over to The Bannered Mare Inn for some food and mead.


	23. Kaidan's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa really gets to know Kaidan and he's not exactly sure how much he wants to share with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan is a mod that and he has a good backstory that will be delved into much later. While I have been putting a lot of words into his mouth in this story, this section utilizes what was already written for him for the most part.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, comments, kudos and bookmarks. They are appreciated!

After eating their roasted goat for dinner, Runa was excited to find out they sold sweet rolls, so she ordered a couple for herself and explained to Kaidan that if he wanted some, he would just have to order one for himself. “No, I wouldn’t dare get between you and a sweet roll. I like living,” he laughed. 

After several meads, Runa realized she really didn’t know much about Kaidan other than what happened at the prison, his sword, and their own story together. 

“Kai?” she asked, slightly slurring her words. “I realized I really don’t know much about you.” 

Kaidan stiffened a bit at that. He wasn’t used to talking about himself. He talked to her once before about some things and hoped that would have been sufficient. “I...well, there really isn’t much to tell, really,” he said. 

“Oh, I don’t believe that for a second. I am certain you have lived a very interesting life.” 

“Well, for good or bad…,” he said vaguely. “Alright, what would you like to know?” he asked reluctantly. 

“Were you scared in prison? I know I was, but what you went through with your back...,” she asked bluntly. She was looking at him with great interest, with her head resting on her hand which was resting on the table. 

“Brynjar used to say, ‘_If you’re not a little afraid, you’re not understanding the situation. _’ Fear I can deal with easily enough...but, there was a moment or two where I thought it might really be the end of me. The Thalmor would never have let me go, no matter what I told them,” he said softly, clearly not comfortable talking about this. 

“Do you think the Thalmor will come after us?” 

“I don’t want to frighten you, but probably. But we will be ready for them, alright?” 

“You are so much more confident than I am about that. I have been trained, but I have never really had to fight for my life until recently.” 

“We have lived and learned and have overcome many difficult obstacles already. We will do this. We will not let them get us again,” he said in such confidence. 

She nodded with that. “Tell me more about Brynjar,” she asked, changing the subject. 

He sighed at this, “Brynjar was a Nord. I may not be a Nord, but I lived like one and was trained like one. I spent most of my childhood with him traveling Tamriel and crisscrossing across Skyrim. Of course, as I go on with my journey, I am finding there was more to it than that.” He was looking down at his mead, eyes slightly unfocused thinking about the past. 

“How so,” she asked. 

“It was the constant moving, teaching me how to live in the wilderness. Training me every day to fight. I learned to use a sword before I even learned to read,” he said, slightly raising his voice. He was starting to look frustrated. Or, maybe it was just painful to look back at his life. 

“Sounds like you had an odd childhood.” 

He barked a laugh at that. “You could say that. For my 13th birthday, he took me on a hunting trip in the wilderness, and when I woke the next morning he was nowhere to be found. All he left me was some flint, a knife, and an empty waterskin. I managed to make it back to civilization after 2 days, no worse for wear though.” 

Runa sat up, angry at this, “Why would he do such a thing! You were just a child!” 

“Well, looking back now, I think Brynjar was running from something, and he spent my whole life teaching me how to defend myself from... whatever it was. But that run-in with the Thalmor...it, it seems to have shed some light on it though. Hopefully, we will find some definitive answers.” 

“Tell me about your mother; you said you didn’t know her, right?” 

“No, I don’t know much about my mother, only that the sword once belonged to her, as I said before. Or, so that is what Brynjar told me. He also said she was brave and beautiful and clever, but not anything actually useful.” 

Runa reached out to hold his hand, “It sounds like you are a lot like her.” 

“I don’t think you would be saying such things if you really knew... After his death, I took the job of bounty hunting; it was all I knew. And, it’s led me to some very interesting places. And, some other years I...well. Perhaps the less said about parts of my past, the better...” 

“Please go on. You can tell me; trust me.” 

He shook his head no. “I...the way you are looking at me now will change. I don’t want you to stop looking at me like that. I don’t want to see your eyes filled with disappointment and disgust. Besides, it’s not really worth retelling.” 

“I don’t think I could ever feel that way about you like that.” 

“You say that now...” He sighed. ”Fine, it’s nothing to be proud of, but I guess you will find out anyway. Considering they were my mistakes, perhaps I shouldn’t deny them. I didn’t handle things well after Brynjar’s death and inherited some of his...his worst habits. I was drinking a lot, taking lots of moon-sugar, one day blurring into another.” He reluctantly looked at her; when all he saw was compassion, he continued. 

“I fell into what I thought was a band of outlaws, people like me, people who seemed to be born on the path of destruction and death. They called themselves the Blooded Dawn who worshiped a Daedric Prince, no less. I foolishly wanted a taste of that power and quickly learned the price.” 

“But you obviously escaped it, right?” 

“How I got free is a long and painful tale, one I shouldn’t burden you with and not one I am ready to talk about, I’m sorry. Now that I am free, I try to keep my eyes and mind on more earthly matters. It is also one of the reasons I’m in Skyrim, as I said, digging up my past. I’ve learned that if you feel you have no place in the world, you must make one.” 

They were silent for a while, sipping their mead when Runa looked up at him. “I’m so sorry for what you went through.” 

Looking at her with much relief because the long silence was stressful to him, wanting to know what she was thinking about all of this. “I’m not sorry...I’m not sorry because it set me on the path that met with yours. How could I possibly be sorry for myself, when I’m so grateful for that?” 

She leaned into him and kissed him deeply, not caring who may be watching. To have someone feel for her like that and all he went through, made her feel like she was going to burst with combined happiness and sadness. “I’m so glad to have met you too, Kai.” 

To not see disappointment in her eyes was the greatest gift. _ But she doesn’t know everything. I don’t think I could ever tell her despite how much I trust her. _ “Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve met someone I can trust this much. I’ve never told anyone my story.” 

“Would you mind telling me how Brynjar died? Or is it too painful?” she asked. 

“No, it’s OK. He died from exposure. That’s what the priests called it anyway. See, Brynjar had fought in the Great War but he lost his faith in the Empire after the Concordat was signed. While it ended the Great War, it also banned the Nords from worshiping Talos, as you well know. That joined with whatever horrors he’d seen in action had scarred something in his mind; happens all too often. So, he tried to fight those demons with drink. I had grown up seeing it so I didn’t quite notice how he had worsened over the years.” Retelling how Brynjar died made him realize that these memories were still painful to him. 

“One winter night he went out in search of something stronger, they found his body the next morning lying on the steps to the Temple, frozen solid. I don’t know if he meant to kill himself, but it was clear he didn’t care if he did or not,” he finished. 

“Kai, that must have been so painful.” 

“I wasn’t sad, I was angry. He could have died fighting, or as an old man surrounded by some family, or...” he was starting to get upset. “Or, in any other way that might have had some bloody dignity. Instead, he just left...” 

“Kai,” Runa said softly holding his hand. “Kai, he was sick. That doesn’t change all the good he did.” 

He looked up at her and seeing the goodness in her. “Aye, I suppose you’re right...and a more forgiving person than I am. Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from you,” he said, touching her face. 

“You will find your peace, Kai, as I will eventually find mine. Dealing with loss will always be a hard thing, I believe.” 

“Thank you for, y’know, listening and not hating me for it all.” 

“How could I possibly hate you for your suffering.” 

With that they decided they had enough drinks and too many emotions, so headed back to the little house.


	24. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're just going to have to read to find out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, kudos, comments and bookmarks. It means a lot!

When they got home, she informed him she was going to sleep. 

“Aye, I will stay up for a while and read so as to not disturb you. You get your rest,” he said, completely oblivious. 

“Don’t you want to join me?” 

“It would be damn hard to sleep with a ‘dragon’ in my bed,'' he said mischievously. 

“Actually, sleep is NOT what I really had in mind, but sure, keep pretending you don’t know what I mean,” she laughed. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her. It was soft and gentle. He was so tall, he got tired sometimes of bending down, so he easily lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist, careful not to touch his back and continued to kiss without giving each other cricks in their necks. 

Moving over to the large table, he put her down. Sitting in one of the chairs in front of her, he started to remove her boots, learning from his mistake last night. He lifted one of her legs up and started kissing all the way down to her toes. Once he was done, he stood back up and lifted her again to carry her upstairs as she was lightly kissing his neck. He laid her gently down on the bed and went to light all the candles they had in the room. 

Removing his pants and boots, but leaving on his tunic, he climbed in bed with her and slowly started untying her corset and dress. Lifting it up over her head, she was left with her shift on. They were lying down facing each other and he brushed away her hair so he could look at her, touching her rough skin where her healing scars were. 

His brows suddenly furrowed, looking at her. “How can one feel so strongly for someone else in such a short period of time? How is this possible?” His question was more rhetorical rather than expecting an answer. 

She felt the same way but didn’t have an answer for him. She looked at him and then asked, “Have you ever been in love, Kai?” 

“Oh, I thought I was once or twice; when I was a little younger and a lot stupider,” he said playing with her hair. 

“Tell me about it.” 

“There was this noble lass, not unlike you, I was sweet on when I was a lad; she was married off to some _courtier_. Maybe you will understand my hesitation when I found out about your wealth. And, another lass later who turned out to be...well, trouble. Lust or infatuation it might have been, but I wouldn’t call it love,” he finished. “What about you? Ever been shot with that arrow?” 

“I too thought I was once, but it didn’t end well.” 

“Need me to kill’em?” 

Runa must have had a shocked look on her face. “Oh, get that look off your face, I was only joking...Mostly.” 

“Well, to be fair, I’m sure my brothers did him some damage to him already. He was a noble boy I was sweet on. I thought he loved me too. I was so shy and I wouldn’t let him kiss me or anything. But he was always so sweet to me. I fell stupidly hard for him. 

One night we were putting our horses in the stables after an afternoon of riding.” Her eyes looked so far away then, thinking back about what happened. “I thought he liked me, but all he wanted was sex, so he tried to take it from me. I fought him hard and managed to escape, but not before he punched me in the face. 

I ran home bleeding and my brothers demanded I tell them what happened. Let’s just say I never saw the boy again.” 

“I’m so sorry, Runa. I’m glad you fought him off. I’m not surprised you were strong like that.” 

“OK, enough sad stories!” she demanded. _ I just want Kaidan and to feel his touches. _

He bent over to kiss her again. He was propped up on his elbow and started tracing her curves with his fingers. He slowly slipped the shift off of her shoulders and breast and delicately touched the soft skin, then lightly rolled her nipple between his fingers. 

Her eyes were closed enjoying his touch. “Sit up. I want to remove your shift.” Sitting up she pulled the shift over her shoulders and threw it onto the floor. Lying back down on her side again, he propped up one of her legs so he could feel her wetness. He dipped a finger deep inside her watching her as she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. 

While he was watching her, she gently massaged his shaft, touching the hard yet soft skin. Her eyes were closed and suddenly found herself embarrassed and blushing. “Kai, I...I think...Can we try it?” Finally looking at him, blushing. He wasn’t sure what she meant at first, but then quickly understood. 

Leaning over on top of her to look her in the eyes. For her to give this to him left him in awe...that she trusted him so much with something so valuable. So, he had to ask, “Are you sure? I need you to be 100% sure. Because you don’t look 100% sure.” 

“If I’m not sure, it’s only because I don’t know what to expect, but I’m sure I want to try it with you.”

“OK, Runa.”

Will...will it hurt?” Looking at him nervously. 

Kaidan shrugged. “I don’t really know for sure. I think it’s different for men than it is for women, and I think it is different for each person on the whole. I heard that you can bleed, not to scare you; that it’s normal, I think.” 

She nodded. “OK...yes, I want to try it. I want to feel what it is like to have you inside me.” 

“OK, we can give it a try. I will go really slow and if it hurts, you tell me immediately and I will stop. Deal?”

She nodded again and whispered, “Deal.” She was slightly shaking and her hands were sweating from nervousness. 

He pulled his tunic over his head, bent over her and started kissing down her soft skin. He wasn’t just going to get right into it; it should be a process. She should enjoy this as much as possible. As he worked his way down her body, he spread her legs gently and started licking her between her legs on her tender spot. She was moaning and pushing herself into his face, but suddenly pulled him up by his head. “This feels amazing, Kai, but I want to do this now.” 

Nodding, he sat up and inserted a couple of fingers into her and moved them around, trying to get a feel for her as well as giving her a taste of what it was like to have something inside her. Even he was getting a bit nervous. When she seemed to enjoy that, he added another finger.

“How does that feel? Does it hurt?” She shook her head looking at him, breathing hard. 

He spread her legs a bit further, hovered over her body and inserted just the tip as slow as he could, and pushed inside of her centimeter by centimeter; inch by inch. Looking down at her, he saw her hands were clasping her head and her eyes were tightly closed with a furrowed brow holding her breath, “Runa is this hurting...you promised.” 

“A little bit...but don’t stop, please. Not yet. I think this is something I’m going to have to get used to.” 

He nodded. “Runa, you need to breathe and try to relax, especially down there...you are clenching.” 

Once he felt her try to relax, he continued to move slowly back and forth in her. It was taking everything he had to not shove it in all the way. It felt so good to him and she was so tight and wet, but he was not about to hurt her and lose her trust in him. He moved in another few centimeters, slowing going farther and farther in. She moaned a little and he was uncertain if it was pleasure or pain; or both. “Runa...” 

“I’m...I’m OK. Keep going.” 

With that, he reached the end of the line. A barrier was stopping any further progress and he knew that had to be pushed forward before he could go on. When he tried to keep going from there, the pain was too much for her.

“Stop, stop, stop...” He quickly pulled out. “I’m sorry,” she said covering her face with her hands in embarrassment and frustration. “I must not be normal. Other women can do this!” 

He pulled her hands from her face so she could look at him. “It’s OK. It seems pretty normal to me for it to hurt. It makes sense, so don’t feel bad about it. I do know for sure it won’t hurt eventually. We will try again and again until it no longer hurts you, OK? If that is what you want?” 

He held her for a while and she looked at him. “What about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“We didn’t do anything for you.” 

“And? Don’t worry about me. It’s late, let’s get some rest,” he suggested. 

He fell asleep rather quickly and started to lightly snore, but Runa lay awake with her head on his shoulder and leg draped over his stomach. She wished it didn’t hurt so much. She felt like she ruined things tonight and that maybe she shouldn’t have pushed it, but he was so patient and understanding with her. She just hoped that it won’t take her too long to get used to him inside of her. Fantasizing what sex will eventually be like with Kai, she finally started to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Losing virginity means so many different things to many people. Sometimes it's horrible, sometimes is perfect, sometimes it's completely uneventful. I reflected my own experiences in this story. It was kind of personal, but my memories were good and it didn't even work the first time ha ha. But that is what I wanted to tell here.


	25. 7,000 Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa and Kaidan finally reach HIgh Hrothgar to meet the Greybeards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, there is a little oral sex at the beginning of this.

Kaidan awoke in the morning, blindly feeling around for Runa in bed, but there was just an empty space. Suddenly he could feel some movement under the covers and a warmth spread through the lower half of his body. He found himself getting very hard and looked down to see this lump moving up and down under the blanket and smiled laying his head back down. 

_ That’s one way to wake up._

Lifting his head again, he removed the blanket so he could watch her. She sure didn’t take long to figure what he likes as her warm tongue swirled around his tip while moving her hands firmly up and down his shaft. 

Taking him deep into her mouth, it didn’t take long before he exploded in her as she swallowed. With each swallow it tightened her mouth around him, making him grab her head and move his hips back and forth a bit faster until he was finished. 

She looked up when she was done with a big smile on her face, sat up and kissed him on the cheek. “Morning!!” she sang and then got up, stretched like a cat and headed downstairs completely naked. Looking back at her, smiling..._I’m in serious trouble with this one._

He got up and followed her down watching her get bread, cheese, and apples for them to eat before their day began. Sitting down eating breakfast completely naked was a new thing for him, but he liked it, especially _her_ being naked. She had one leg propped up on the bench while she crumbled some cheese with her fingers and popped it in her mouth. 

She looked over at him. “I think I would like to go try to visit the Greybeards, Kai. I would like to head out today, if possible. It’s going to be kind of a long trip and to ask if you wanted to come with me.” 

“Of course, I will come with you,” he said, lightly rubbing her cheek with the back of his hand. 

“Thank you, Kai. That means a lot to me. I’m a bit nervous about all this Dragonborn stuff and what it means; what they can tell me or even want from me. But it will also be nice to have some real answers if they can even provide that.” 

“If anyone is going to have answers to that, it will be them,” he assured her. He was straddling the bench and she leaned her back into his chest. He wrapped an arm around her waist and started to kiss her shoulder and neck. 

“I just wonder why they didn’t reach out before. When it happened to me with the dragon the first time, sucked its soul or whatever I did.” She shuddered a bit at that. “Why did they wait so long?” 

“Well, looking back after it happened, you were unconscious for a while. Maybe they did, but you couldn’t hear them.” 

She nodded at that and finished eating as he continued to gently kiss her neck making her wet. He reached over her shoulder, moving his hand down between her legs..._OK, my turn! _

********** 

After staying the night in Ivarstead, they headed out the next morning, preparing for the long hike up the mountain. 

Kaidan looked down at her adjusting her cloak. “Ready for this?” She nodded and started to walk. 

They were exhausted by the time they reached the door. Runa stood there for a moment, not just to breathe, but from nervousness. This could change everything or nothing at all. She didn’t know and that was the point. But, in the end, she wanted some answers and to not be afraid of what was happening to her. Finally, she opened the large iron doors and went inside. 

Kaidan leaned over to her and whispered as soon as they saw the Greybeards appear, “I will be here in the corner if you need me.” He started to walk away, but Runa grabbed his hand back and tightly held it as the men approached her. 

“So...a Dragonborn appears, at this moment in the turning of the age. I am Master Arngeir. I speak for the Greybeards. Now, tell me, Dragonborn, why have you come here?” 

“Who are you? What is this place?” 

“We are the Greybeards, followers of the Way of the Voice. You stand in High Hrothgar, on the slopes of Kynareth’s sacred mountain. Here we commune with the voice of the sky, and strive to achieve a balance between our inner and outer selves.” 

“You call me Dragonborn. What does it mean?” 

“First, let us see if you truly are Dragonborn. Let us get a taste of your voice.” 

She looked at Kaidan with uncertainty. He didn’t have the answers for her, so he just shrugged. 

As if reading her mind, Arngier said, “Do not be afraid. Your Shout will not harm us.” 

Closing her eyes, clearing her mind as much as she could, she pulled deep within herself and shouted, “FUS!” 

“Dragonborn. It is you. Welcome to High Hrothgar.” 

After a couple of hours spent with the Greybeards, she had learned two new shouts. “Your quick mastery of a new Thu’um is...astonishing. I’d heard the stories of the abilities of Dragonborn, but to see it for myself...” 

“Thank you, Master. I will continue my training.” 

“Good, then you will be ready for whatever lies ahead,” he said. 

It was dark by the time they got back to Ivarstead and decided to stay the night at the inn. Kaidan grabbed them something to eat and a couple of meads. She really could use the mead after all that training and the exhausting trip up and down the mountain. She was picking at her food lost in thought. 

Kaidan brushed away some of her hair from her face. “Are you OK?” 

She nodded her head. “I think so. It’s all been a lot to take in. I’m glad to have answers and receive some help with these shouts. But with the return of the dragons...and me being Dragonborn. I...well, it kind of has a destiny set for me, doesn’t it? I am the one who is going to have to deal with these dragons. I’m the one who is going to have to find out why they are rising and what to do about it. It’s a lot to take in. Then they want to send me to some other dangerous ruin to retrieve another artifact...this Horn of Jurgen Windcaller.” 

He pulled her close to him and hugged her. “But you aren’t going to be alone. I will be there with you.” 

She smiled at him. “Hey, let me see your sword...,” changing the subject. 

He handed her his sword. “I want to take a closer look now that I understand more of the dragon language. Maybe I can make something out.” She leaned her back against his chest and propped up her feet on the bench. She looked at his sword and concentrated on clearing her mind. 

“Zu’u kiin midoraad dovahzul, I think. I can read it, but I still don’t know what it means. ‘Dovah’ has something to do with dragons... Maybe with time, I can learn more and figure it out.” She shrugged and handed him his sword back.

“Thank you for trying. At least we know it is written in dragon language.” 

It was late by the time they decided to go to their room. They stripped off their clothes and crawled into the bed. He fell asleep quickly, but she was still awake, unable to sleep. She delicately traced her finger on his chest as she pushed aside thoughts of dragons and old men, just thinking about Kaidan and inhaling his musky scent, making her feel safe. After just thinking of thoughts of him, sleep finally reached her


	26. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan finally does something to deal with is ever increasing insecurities. A Dragonborn noblewoman is hard to live up to. While Runa is not happy about it his decision, at least she finally managed to lose it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual Content
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting! <3

Both Runa and Kaidan were very quiet on their ride back from Ivarstead. Runa had a lot on her mind about this Dragonborn business and destinies. She didn’t like some unseen force “guiding” her to some predestined journey. To her it means that everything has already been decided for her and it doesn’t matter what path she chooses. Not having choices is a scary thought. She would rather be the master of her own fate. 

She could deny being the Dragonborn, but at what cost? How many will die because she was afraid or stubborn? But she couldn’t deny that this is a lot of pressure for a 19-year-old girl. Sure, people have ruled whole empires younger than her, but hunting dragons and stopping the End of Times...

Kaidan also had a lot on his mind. It was hard enough to deal with the fact that he came from such a horrible life, most of which was of his own doing, to find someone who could possibly make him whole again only to find that he was unworthy of her. He couldn’t shed these insecurities and that he has nothing. But it was worse than that. Something he may never be able to tell her. And, now that she’s also Dragonborn...it changed everything. That is something impossible to live up to. 

He promised her he would be at her side, and he will, but he needs to do something first. He’s not going to try to live up to her level...that’s impossible. But he was going to do something about his own issues and have at least something to offer her.

When they finally reached Whiterun, it was early evening. They got home and she went straight to the large kettle and started heating up water for a soak. All her muscles were screaming at her and she felt filthy. 

When the basin was filled, she walked up behind Kaidan who was sitting in a chair completely lost in thought. She had no doubt that this Dragonborn businesses was bothering him as much as it was bothering her. 

She bent down to kiss his neck. “Will you join me? There is definitely enough room for two.” 

He looked up and smiled at her. “Yes, give me a minute.”

She was lathering in her favorite lavender soap and washing her hair when Kaidan got in. He handed her a glass of Colovian Brandy she stole from her father’s collection while he sipped on his. He sunk down into the hot water with her. 

He looked so tired and drained to her. He has been so distracted and lost in thought for a while now. She wanted to try and snap him out of it. She too had a lot on her mind, but she wanted them to just relax for a bit, while they could. Enjoy their pleasures and each other while there was time.

She watched him with his head back and eyes closed soaking in the hot water. She headed over to him and straddled his lap while lathering his body with soap. She took her rag and delicately washed his face with it. Working her way down with the rag, she washed his neck, arms and chest. When she was done, she leaned in to kiss him on his neck. 

He smiled and wrapped one of his arms around her to bring her near to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, slightly worried about his unresponsiveness. She sat up and looked at him with his eyes still closed and his head still leaning back.

“Are...are you OK? Something is wrong, isn’t there. More than what happened with the Greybeards?”

He looked up and brushed her face with his hand. “No, there is nothing wrong, but there is something I have to do and you won’t like it. I have to leave you for a while.”

Runa sat up suddenly worried. “Leave? Why? Where do you have to go? Why do you have to leave?” 

“There’s just something I have to do. It...it’s important. I will be gone for about two weeks.”

“Two weeks?! Why so long?”

“Because what I have to do is going to take that long--actually longer. 

“And, you’re not going to tell me what it is?” Suddenly she was feeling angry.

“All I can promise you is that it is for us. It’s something I have to do. But it will take time, so I will have to go back and forth for periods of time.”

Runa wasn’t sure how she felt about all this--his distractions, evasive answers, his leaving without a reason. Not just that, but Runa just realized she’s never actually been alone...ever. She was either always with a brother, a father, Alva, and now Kaidan. She’s never spent any significant amount of time by herself and she was slightly afraid by it. She didn’t like this realization about herself.

“I...I don’t understand.” She quickly got out of the tub, put on her robe and headed upstairs to fix her hair before bed.

While she was brushing her hair, he came up behind her and kissed her neck. “You are clearly upset with me. I’m sorry for that.” That was the last thing he wanted but he couldn’t tell her what he was doing either. 

“I’m not upset at all.”

“Runa, if you’re not upset, then I’m a frost spider. Please turn around and look at me.”

She turned around looking up at him with trying to not be upset. “I just want to understand.”

“I know you do. It’s for us. I want you to trust me,” he said as he brushed her wet bangs out of her face and tucked them behind her ears. 

She softened with that. “I do trust you. When...when are you leaving?”

“In the morning.”

“In the morning?! So soon? Why?”

“Because the quicker I leave, the sooner I can get back to you.”

He was still wet and naked from the bath. Kissing her neck, he slipped off her robe, lifted her off her feet and brought her to bed. He could see she was a little teary-eyed; still upset he was leaving. He bent over to kiss her full lips and kissed her neck. 

She pushed him back and looked at him. “Can we try again then; before you leave?”

“Aye, that we can do.”

He slid down between her legs to lick and suck on her to get her wet and ready. Once she was sufficiently wet, he was already hard and slowly inserted himself into her. This time she had her eyes opened looking down to watch and remembered to breathe. Trying not to clench was a bit harder for her, but Kaidan just kept reminding her to loosen up. He kept pushing forward until he was in as far as he could go and just sat there like that for a bit.

“How are you feeling?”

“It hurts a little, but I’m fine, so far.”

“I’m wondering if we should just be quick about this to...to get it over with. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much,” he suggested. “Once we can get past it, the pain will be less and then you can start to enjoy it.

She nodded her head quickly. “OK. OK, do it.” She shut her eyes tight as he pulled back and pushed himself quickly back in. He was through. It hurt, but it wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be. Once it was over with, Kaidan worked slowly back and forth inside her. It felt so good to be inside her and it was going to take all his will to control himself. He wants her to learn to enjoy it too.

“How do you feel?”

“I...I feel OK. It’s OK. It doesn’t hurt much,” she said with a smile on her face. 

He smiled down at her, “Ready?”

“There’s more?”

He laughed a bit at that. “Aye, there is more.”

She nodded. He started moving his hips faster this time, going in and out of her more quickly. He wasn’t doing it too hard, but just a bit faster. He leaned down on her to suck on her breasts. She liked this and he could feel her getting wetter inside, which in turn made him want to go faster. 

But then she pushed him up while he was moving faster because she wanted to watch it. She liked seeing him go in and out of her. It was fascinating to her. Of course, her watching made him move that much harder; with her tightness and wetness. 

“Are...are...you still OK?” he asked, getting slightly out of breath and not just from exertion. She nodded she was fine.

“Can I go a little harder?”

She nodded again. While watching and feeling him go in and out of her harder and harder, she was getting wetter. She could actually feel his excitement inside of her. Not just from him being hard; it was a sense she was having like she could feel this sort of electricity and tell he was getting close. 

She moved her hand down to touch herself while he was inside of her. She could feel the warmth spread through her as she touched herself and him moving inside of her, so she rubbed herself harder and faster, causing her hips to move back and forth in rhythm with Kaidan. She closed her eyes, arched into him, feeling the warmth spread through her body as she orgasmed. 

She convulsed and pulsated so strongly, it made him moan. He watched her in her orgasmic throws and he was about to explode inside of her feeling her convulse on him; it was almost too tight by that point. He was flushing and getting sweaty. It was too much and knew that he had to pull out before it was too late. He moaned loudly and quickly pulled out. Finishing with his hand, he exploded all over her stomach. 

He rolled onto his back, still breathing heavily. That was some of the best sex he had ever had. It wasn’t the best as far as positions, or uniqueness, or that it was passionate. With Runa, it was so new to her, so the sex was very raw and very honest. She was fascinated to watch it all happen and not afraid to try to make herself enjoy it more. It changed the whole dynamic of how sex had always been for him. He wanted more of it. Once his breathing settled, he sat up, grabbed a rag and cleaned her up.

She was lying there with her eyes closed trying to steady her heart. He touched her face and she opened her eyes to look at him, “Are you OK? How did you like it? I...I tried to make pleasurable for you. It will get better and better.”

She smiled lightly and nodded. “I liked it and it was better than I expected it to be. I always imagined this hard and painful pounding with the man spreading his seed in me and that was it. Nothing else. I was always taught that is what men and women do to have babies or for a man’s pleasure only. I didn’t expect to have pleasure too. Thank you, Kai, for being so patient with me. It was better than I could have ever hoped.” Again, in awe of her honesty about all of it.

He bent over her to kiss her deeply. He laid back down and pulled her close to him as they quickly fell asleep.


	27. Friend of the Companions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa finds herself bored without Kaidan, so she meets Aela, hoping to make friends and to see if joining the Companions would be of interest to her. Vilkas meets his match sparring with swords.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and your comments!

Runa spent the better part of the morning between pacing the room and trying to read a book for distractions. Kaidan left in the early morning with Thor and he made her promise not to go dragon hunting without him and she made him promise to come back in one piece and without delay. 

Strange that it’s only been about two weeks since they have known each other and the little house felt so empty. Those two weeks have felt like an eternity to her. It felt like she had known him all her life as if they were meant to be, which was strange coming from someone who didn’t believe in destiny or fate. 

They had been through so much together in such a short time. She also knows now she is not used to being alone. But, if he’s going to do this again, then she’s just going to have to get used to it and keep herself busy. 

After the boredom set in, she decided to make some plans to stop by the temple in the morning to see if her family was settled in yet, then head out for the day to the manor and see how Alva was doing. She missed Alva something fierce. 

She spent the rest of the afternoon shopping around Whiterun getting groceries and supplies for the house, plus a few new books she hadn’t yet read. Then she decided to also go by the blacksmith to see if her armor and weapons were ready. Adrienne informed her that her equipment would be ready in two days. 

That evening she headed over to the Bannered Mare Inn for dinner and some mead. The inn was lively tonight with a bard singing on the top of his lungs to be heard through all the noise. She looked around to see if there was any place for her to sit. There was one spot left at the bar next to two other women. She sat down and instantly recognized Aela who was with another dark-haired woman she didn’t recognize. 

“Hi, I remember you. Aela, right?” she asked in hopes of sparking some conversation so she wouldn’t have to sit alone at the bar. 

“Yes, Runa, right? This is Ria, another member of the Companions.” Ria waved hello to Runa. 

“What are you all doing here? Eating, drinking or both?” Runa asked. 

“No, we are just picking up some food to bring back to Jorrvaskr for everyone. We generally eat and drink over there and keep mostly to ourselves.” 

Runa nodded not sure what else to say. 

“Where’s your hulking friend?” 

“Oh, he had to leave town for a couple of weeks.” 

“I see. Well, do you want to come along with us? I remembered how well you and your friend fought that giant. Everyone would love to hear where you trained and, as I said before, we are always looking for people who are worthy of the Champions.” 

“Ok, I would like that. I’ve never been in Jorrvaskr either, so it will be interesting to get to see it from the inside.” 

Runa was excited for a chance to possibly make some friends while Kaidan was gone. She was going to need them. She followed Aela out of the Bannered Mare and into Jorrvaskr. As soon as she walked in, she could see a large fire pit surrounded by a massive table. It looked like all the members were seated eating and drinking, talking and laughing. It looked like one big, happy family. It gave her strong pangs from missing her own family. Trying to keep her eyes dry, she pushed it all back as she met everyone. 

“Everyone, this is Runa! She is one of the people who helped us defeat that giant. She was exceptional with the bow and I thought I would introduce her to our little family,” Aela announced. 

Runa waved to everyone and sat down at the table in the only chair available, next to one of the handsome twins on one side and an elderly gentleman with graying hair and beard on the other. Someone handed her a mead and she was sipping on it, watching and listening, feeling a little out of place, but it was better than being alone. 

“I’m Kodlak Whitemane. I’m the Harbinger here. So, you're interested in becoming a Companion?” 

“I am not sure. I guess I’m looking for my place in this world and Aela suggested the Companions. Mostly I was just looking for some friends or something,” she shrugged. 

“Master, we don’t even know who she is,” Vilkas complained not caring if Runa heard him or not. 

_ Great, I’m barely here for ten minutes and he’s already taken a dislike to me? _

“Vilkas, I’m no one’s master. And, if she wishes to join, it doesn’t hurt to see if she would be a good fit.” Looking back at her, “Family and Honor is what it means to be a Companion. You look like you have a strength of spirit. How are you in battle, girl? We know you can shoot arrows, but can you use a sword?” 

“I have been trained in several weapons, including one-handed swords, though I’m not quite strong enough for the great-sword,” she explained. 

“Vilkas, take her out to the courtyard and let’s see what she’s got.” 

Vilkas groaned, “Aye.” 

When Runa stood up, she saw that everyone had been quiet and listening; all excited to see Runa and Vilkas spar with swords. Out in the courtyard, everyone took seats to watch her spar with him secretly placing bets. She assumed it was because he was probably one of their best swordsmen. 

While he was a two-handed weapon man, he picked up a one-handed sword for himself to balance things out for her. 

He handed her a sword and a shield. She accepted the sword but turned down the shield. Vilkas was not unlike Kai in that they were both very tall and broad with dark, medium length hair. But that is where their similarities ended. He and his brother had such light blue eyes, they were almost silver, “You sure you don’t want that shield?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. 

She nodded her head, “I don’t use shields.” 

He shrugged and put down his shield as well. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got, girl. Give it all you got; I can take it,” Vilkas said slightly bored.

_ He doubts I have the strength and ability to handle him. Maybe I don’t, but I’m no slouch either. _

It had been a while since she used a one-handed sword, so this would be good practice for her. Once she stood in her stance, readying her sword, everything else became second nature to her. She held the hilt of her sword loosely in her hand trying to get familiar with her weapon and did a few swings to feel how it swung. 

“Attack!” Vilkas yelled impatiently. 

But she didn’t attack. Watching him, she started circling Vilkas, looking for a hole or a good attack point. Instead of her attacking, Vilkas must have sensed an attack point in her and attacked in an upward cut, using his height against her. But she blocked him easily enough and because he came up into a downwards movement, she used her riposte under his arm. But he was fast enough to block her riposte and she backed up before he had a chance to attack again. He smirked at her, thinking he had her figured out. 

He came quickly at her and she blocked him several times while he lunged at her to grapple her sword, but she backed up just before he had the chance. She used the opportunity of his failed grappled to do a sideways cut and got him on his left side. She could hear the women cheering behind her and tried to tune them out. 

Vilkas seemed like he had a bit of a temper and didn’t like being hit by her. To be fair, no one liked getting hit. He used several different cuts at once, rapidly lunging at her, forcing her to block his several blows, which she did. In return, she rapidly lunged at him with her own attack, forcing him to block her and she quickly grappled his sword on the last block before he had a chance to step back. 

“Enough!” Kodlak yelled when he saw Vilkas start to get angry and was about to attack again. “Well done, girl. You can definitely hold your own with a sword. Farkas! Show Runa around and see if there are any small jobs for her.” 

When they were done, Vilkas came up to her and stood very close to her, looking down smirking and deeply inhaling her. That’s when he really looked at her, no longer bored. He was suddenly enthralled by her with her thick wavy black hair, pale skin, and those eyes... “Well done,” he whispered. “You kept me on my toes. I wouldn’t mind dancing with you again sometime,” he winked. She suddenly found herself flushing and blushing, not knowing what to say to that. 

Aela also came up and whispered in her ear, “Well done, word is going to spread how you bested Vilkas.” 

With that Farkas took her around Jorrvaskr to show her around and meet everyone else. He then gave her a small job, “Welcome to the Companions


	28. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa sets out to see her family laid to rest, goes to visit her only family left Alva and does a small persuasion job for The Companions; her new family. Vilkas continues his pursuit of Runa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting!! It means a lot!

She set out early in the morning to go visit the temple and see about her father and brothers. This was something she was dreading only because she missed them dearly, but she had to visit to make sure they were taken care of properly. The priest at the temple showed her where her family was laid out in the Hall of the Dead. She spent a while crying heavily and saying her goodbyes to them. She removed her father’s signet ring, the ring her mother gave to him, from her finger and put it in his tunic for the afterlife and left. 

After her goodbyes, she retrieved Butternut and made her way to visit Alva. She missed her so much, but being in that house would have torn at her had she stayed. Alva must have been informed that a rider was coming to the house, for she was already outside waiting for Runa. 

As Runa got off of Butternut, Alva looked at Runa closely. It had only been over a week since she last saw her, but she looked so much older already; her Runa was a grown woman now. Runa rushed to Alva and gave her a tearful hug. 

“Come on in, girl, and let’s get you something to eat. You look dreadfully skinny!” Alva held her hand and guided her into the house. 

“Alva, you always thought I was too skinny,” she said, laughing a little. 

Sitting at the kitchen table, Runa started to devour the sweet rolls put in front of her. “You sure do know how to spoil a girl, Alva.” 

“So, What’s going on, dear? What have you been doing since you left? Are you OK? You don’t seem to be all that happy.” 

“I’m fine. Really. I just left the temple where Father and my brothers were laid to rest.” Runa started to tear up again from the raw emotions of the morning. 

This made Alva tear up too as she pulled out her handkerchief. “I’m so sorry dear. Are they well?” 

Runa just nodded. “It’s not just that, but Kaidan just left for two weeks and I miss him already. I have come to realize that I have never been alone in my life, it makes me a bit nervous and lonely.” 

“Runa, my dear, are you going to make me pry information out of you about Kaidan? Has he been actually living with you?” Alva knew there was something between them, but she didn’t know the extent of it. 

“I...” Runa started blushing, not sure how much to tell Alva, but decided that she should just tell her the truth. She was the only woman in her life she could talk to about these things. “I...we...uhm, I lost my virginity the other night to Kaidan,” she said blushing even more deeply. 

“Oh, Runa! Why?! You know if you wanted to lose your virginity, all you had to do was go to the Temple of Mara, get an amulet, wear it. Then you two could have been married first.” Alva wasn’t angry with her but believed Runa should have gone about it the proper way. 

“Alva, I do NOT want to get married! At least not yet. I don’t want to rush these things like everyone else in Skyrim. _ ‘Oh, here let me put on this necklace and find the first person who pays attention to me and marry them’._ I want to love my future husband,” she explained. 

“You grow to love. That’s how it works.” 

“No, I don’t want to grow into it after marriage. I want to grow into before.” 

She ate some more of her roll thinking about things. “I...we have this really crazy connection. I don’t know what it is or why, but we just do. When we made love, it just felt...right. If I was going to lose my virginity, it would be with him. He is so kind and patient and...giving.”

“Do you love him?” Alva asked. 

“Actually, I’m not sure...maybe? We barely know one another. I just know that we connect somehow and I feel strongly for him. I do know I could love him. 

I know you taught me about sex and how to please men, but I never knew it could also be pleasurable for me too,” she continued, looking up at Alva. She was still kind of embarrassed to be talking about such things, but she needed someone to talk to about it and not just with Kaidan. 

“I guess I should have told you about those things too, lass. I just wanted to prepare you for marriage to a nobleman and they aren’t always...well, the kindest or most considerate towards a woman’s pleasure. I’m so sorry, honey. I just didn’t want you...disappointed. It was foolish of me.” 

“No, it’s OK, Alva.” Runa took her hand to it, starting to tear up. “I guess with Father gone and no brothers, there will be no arranged marriage. I never wanted to be married off, but I didn’t want it at the expense of my family.” 

“Oh, dear girl, come here.” Alva held Runa as she quietly cried for a while. 

“Do you think Kaidan is a good man?” Alva asked, still holding her. 

Runa nodded. “Yes, I believe he is. He had some rough moments in his life, but I trust him. And, I know my wealth bothers him, but I think it’s something we can overcome.” 

“If you are happy and he is a good man, then I am happy too.” 

“Thank you, Alva. For everything; for listening.” 

Alva begged Runa to stay the night, but Runa just couldn’t do it. Not yet. Maybe in time. 

**********

Runa got back to Whiterun in the early evening and headed straight to do her quick job for the Companions. It was just a simple “persuasion” job. Two people were in some argument and it was her job to settle things. They wanted her to use some force, but she had a better idea since she wasn’t the biggest or strongest. It also wasn’t her style. Alva had a few tricks up her sleeve to teach Runa how to deal with the opposite sex when she was growing up and persuade them to her way of thinking. 

Elrindir of the Drunken Huntsman had apparently been causing problems with an unknown person in Whiterun. They hired the Companions to “remind” Elrindir of his obligations. She was sure “reminding” him involved some sort of beating, but she wasn’t about to do that. Beating people was not her thing. 

“What can I do for you?” Elrindir asked smoothly when Runa walked in. 

Runa had loosened her tunic lacing so her shapely breasts were spilling out a bit. She walked up to Elrindir and looked at him coyly behind her wavy hair. “Hi handsome,” she said as she leaned on his counter so he could look down her tunic. 

“You see we have this little problem in Whiterun and someone is upset with you,” she said in her sultriest voice with a little lip pout. “Can you please fix this situation? For me? Please?” As she lightly drew one of her fingers from his face all the way down to his chest and stomach, just stopping at the top of his pants. 

Elrindir started sweating a little and stuttering, watching to see how far her hand would go, “Sss...sshh...sure. I will...fix it.” 

“Oh, thank you so much, handsome!” she exclaimed happily as she kissed her index finger and pressed it to his mouth. 

See, no fists were necessary. 

She headed back to her new family to tell them the news. An hour later, they all sat down at the great table to eat dinner and drink some mead. 

Vilkas was sitting next to her again at the table when he suddenly inched his chair closer to Runa and casually put his arm around shoulders playing with the top sleeve of her tunic. “I heard you dealt with Elrindir and that you didn’t have to beat it out of him,” Vilkas whispered with a smirk on his face, looking deeply into her eyes, then he moved his eyes down to her untied tunic.

“I heard he is rather smitten with you and I don’t blame him in the least.” 

“News sure does get around quickly here,” she said blushing again. _ Why does he make me so flustered? _

She then caught him looking down her top and blushed even brighter when she realized she forgot to tie it back up when she left the Drunken Huntsman. She quickly tied it back up as he smiled brightly at her watching her blush deeply. _ She’s even prettier when she blushes._

She could flirt with some man to achieve her goal, but she couldn’t even think straight with Vilkas hovering over her. 

“It’s a small family,” he shrugged, feeling her heartbeat start to race from his flirtations. “And, if you ever need to put me in my place, please do not hesitate to do so,” smiling at her.

“So, where is your big friend, anyway?” Vilkas asked, secretly wishing she hadn’t tied her tunic back up, but his other hand played a bit with her hair that was still draped over her shoulder giving her goosebumps. 

“He...he...uhm, had to leave town for a bit.” 

He bent over her, getting a little too close, inhaling her again and asked quietly, “He left you all alone? I would never have left you all alone. You are way too beautiful to leave alone.” Making her blush even brighter, if that was possible. “Soooo, is he a boyfriend? Friend? Cousin?” 

“Uhm...he...” 

“Runa!” yelled Farkas, making her jump as Vilkas smiled wide at her. “You and me just North of Falkreath to deal with some vampires tomorrow. This is a bigger job, so let’s not mess this up.” 

“I will miss you,” Vilkas said in her ear, sending goosebumps down her arm. 

Runa nodded at Farkas and decided to head home to get some sleep before the big job and get away from Vilkas before she would never be able to show her face again in sheer embarrassment. How does he make her so flustered?!


	29. Shriekwind Bastion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farkas tries to convince Runa to give Vilkas a chance. Runa finds the vampires more challenging than she thought. She is completely unprepared for what is to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I means a lot!!

Runa met Farkas by the gates in Whiterun. It was very early and the fog was thick, barely being able to see 15 feet in front of them. “I hope this fog lifts soon,” grumbled Farkas. “You got a horse, I hope. We can rent one if you don’t. It’s going to take us a day and a half to get there. We will camp overnight and head out early morning to deal with the Vampires by mid-day.” 

“I have a horse and sounds like a plan.”

They both grabbed their horses and headed out in the dense fog. Traveling in the fog always made Runa nervous. There are so many dangerous creatures in Skyrim and if you can’t see or hear them coming, it could mean your death. Despite the fog, they traveled at a fast gallop so they wouldn’t be delayed. She was confident Butternut would sense trouble before it was too late.

They rode for several hours in silence. Farkas didn’t seem to talk a lot leaving Runa to her thoughts. As if reading her mind, “I don’t like to talk much when it’s foggy like this. I want to be able to hear what’s coming, not that I’m a big talker anyway. Vilkas is the talker.”

As they rode on, Runa was wondering what Kaidan was doing. She had been racking her brain trying to figure out what he had to do and why he couldn’t tell her. He said it was for them, but she didn’t know what that meant either and assumed doing something for “them” couldn’t be a bad thing. She just wished she were in on it. If she were really being honest with herself, she didn’t like being without him. They didn’t need anything. They had a little house, food, clothing, and each other. What else could they need? 

But then her mind strangely wandered to Vilkas, thinking about how he made her so nervous and flustered. He was very attractive and if she were single, she may have been interested in him, but he does seem a bit too forward with her. When she got back, she would explain to him that she was with Kaidan to get him to stop his advances.

By the time they reached camp, it was getting dark. Farkas quickly set up their tents, as if he were an expert and went off to gather wood for the fire. Runa pulled the horses to the little river next to where they were camping to water the horses. When she was done, she pulled out both of their bedrolls off their horses and set them in their tents. She then grabbed some food out of her pack with some water she brought for them. 

Farkas returned quickly and started lighting the wood. Once the fire was lit, she handed him some food and the waterskin. “Any mead in that bag of yours?”

“No, just water. I thought it would be better if we were clear-headed for tomorrow.”

He just nodded at that. It was quiet for a long while when Farkas spoke out of the blue, “I think my brother likes you, especially after you bested him in swords. He talks about you a lot.”

Runa choked a bit on her water with his bluntness and blushed heavily. “I didn’t best him at anything. He’s exceptional with the sword,” she said, unable to think of anything else to say on the matter.

“To my brother you did. You had him on his toes and that rarely happens. He likes you for it, plus you’re beautiful,” he explained in his dull voice that sounded like he was perpetually bored.

“Uhm, thanks. He seemed angry at the time,” still heavily blushing at his frankness.

“Nah, that’s just Vilkas. He gets passionate sometimes. Vilkas is a good guy and I don’t just say that because he’s my brother. He can come off strong and can get heated, but he’s got a big heart. Maybe you could give him a chance.”

She didn’t know what to say about all of that and didn’t really want to talk about Vilkas, “Well, I am taken, Farkas. I’m with Kaidan.

“Ah well, but think about it, if you two don’t work out.”

“Uhm, OK,” was all she could think of. “Night,” she said, so the conversation would end.

As predicted, they reached Shriekwind Bastion by mid-day. Why do ruins always have to be so creepy and ominous, she thought. Couldn’t some ruins be beautiful at least? But she supposed if one were a Vampire, they would choose the creepy ruins. She hoped they also didn’t find giant spiders and draugr in there. 

Looking back, she should have asked to wait longer in Whiterun so she could have grabbed her new armor and weapons, which should have been ready. She was suddenly feeling a little defenseless now since she has never confronted a Vampire before and she was starting to feel a bit nervous about it. At least she had someone with her.

“We better head in and get this over with,” Farkas instructed.

She readied her bow as they headed into the bowels of the ruins. They had to pass through a gate and an iron door that brought them to some stone steps which then led to a wooden door; there was an empty room on the right. He listened by the door and whispered, “There is someone or something behind this door.”

She nodded and readied her bow. He opened the wooden door quickly to find a Volkihar female Vampire. She instantly started at shooting them with fire spells and used her necromancy to turn a bandit corpse into a fighter for her. Runa, disgusted, quickly dispatched the corpse, but the Vampire was more difficult to deal with. Not only was she shooting at them in rapid succession with her spells, but she was fast and moving quickly all over the room. It was hard for Runa to take aim and shoot while dodging her spells. Farkas finally managed to corner her and overpower her with his great-sword while she was distracted by Runa’s arrows.

They moved on quickly up a flight of stone steps to more iron doors, which led to a crypt. Runa was praying there were no draugr. Instead, they were blessed with skeletons. They must have been reanimated by the Vampires. Being old bones, at least they were easily destroyed. They eventually came out to this big cavernous area that had steps leading to the top and had a trap in the middle of the floor. They bypassed the trap and headed up the stone steps, where they found two more skeletons. 

Continuing on, there was another large iron door that led to another crypt with more skeletons. These skeletons were everywhere, she thought and starting to get annoying. Farkas seemed to barrel ahead with no regard for stealth or safety. He was a brute and Runa wished he would slow down and take their time through the ruins. It was dangerous enough sneaking through them. 

But they kept on going at a fast pace until they found themselves in some sort of room that had two large gates and several skeletons. Runa was firing off her bow to burn as many skeletons as she could, while Farkas dealt with the rest with his great-sword. Once inside, she could see there were three levers to pull in the middle of the room on the ground, she assumed opened the gates, but only one gate opened that had three chains. After finally figuring out their sequence, the large gate opened so they could move on.

The pathways just kept going up with more skeletons at every turn. Thank the Nine they were easy to destroy, she thought. It could have been worse. They reached another room that looked like some sort of torture room; blood was everywhere. Runa was feeling a little ill by all the gore when she turned to her right and suddenly saw a Vampire’s Thrall coming at her. Not noticing Farkas, he took his great-sword and decapitated the poor creature forcing her to choke back the bile. 

_ Why are there always so many decapitations? Is this normal? _

They finally reached the top to a large gate that seemed to be open with a pull-type lever on a pedestal. As soon as Runa pulled it, it opened the gate, but flames started shooting out of the walls. It was a trap with no way to turn it off, so they had to contort their bodies and crawl in some areas so as not to be burned. “Ow,” Farkas said in such a dull voice, she wondered if he was actually hurt at all. “Damn fire trap.”

Finally reaching the gate through the fire they came to a wooden door. Farkas stupidly barreled through it and found the Master Vampire who already knew they were there. Runa cursing that she didn’t push them to be stealthier. This was the creature they were supposed to kill and Master Vampires were quite formidable, who were capable of very strong spells and were incredibly fast. 

Runa just could not get a bead on him with her bow, he was just all over the place shooting spells at them and she didn’t want to waste her arrows “in case” she hit him. Then the Vampire suddenly seemed to vanish or the illusion of vanishing and Runa was scanning every area of the room to find him, heart-pounding and getting nervous; this was going to be trouble. She did not like to not be able to see her target and KNEW she should have waited for her armor. Every noise made her turn quickly, thinking it was the Vampire. 

She could hear Farkas yelling, “Show yourself, coward!” 

“Shut up, Farkas!” She needed to use all her senses and she couldn’t do that with Farkas yelling.

The Master Vampire suddenly reappeared right behind Runa and bit her before she could react. A painful burning sensation coursed through her entire body as she fell; vision blurring...Kaidan was going to kill her. The last thing she remembered was seeing a werewolf. That couldn’t be right...


	30. Falkreath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally find out what Kaidan has been up to not knowing what has happened to Runa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting a little early as I have a very busy weekend.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting! It means a lot, as always!!

It took Kaidan a couple of days to reach Falkreath. He hated leaving Runa and hated it even more that he couldn’t tell her what he was doing, but he didn’t lie that he was doing this for them. There was news that Jarl Siddgier had several very profitable bounties and was looking for a new Thane and with it a parcel of land to build a new home by the lake. It was the perfect opportunity for Kaidan to jump on and he wanted to get there quickly before anyone else took the job. He also knew the trader at Gray Pines Goods in Falkreath would exchange his gems and jewels he found in the ruins for Septims. 

He had nothing to offer her and that was going to end now. He was going to do what he could to change his fortune; have something to offer her. He felt like a freeloader staying with her in her little house and offering nothing else in return. Sure, he knew she welcomed him and that she treated her home as “theirs," but to him, it wasn’t the same. He spent his whole life running from the horrible things he had done to find someone so kind and caring and real. Something he never sought after because he didn’t believe it actually existed. He was done running and he was done feeling sorry for himself. 

When Kaidan entered the Jarl’s Longhouse and saw the Jarl, he wondered if looking bored was a Jarl thing or if they were actually bored. Kaidan stepped up to the Jarl and bowed.

“I’m here about your request for a new Thane and that you were seeking help with some bounties.” 

In a snake-like voice, the Jarl said, “Yes, good, someone useful around here, finally. But first things first. There are a group of bandits in my Hold that I..._may _ have had a few discreet dealings with. The cut they were giving me was good at first, but now it’s time to clean things up. Go and take care of it.” He shooed Kaidan away to do his bidding. 

“It will be done,” he said, bowing again. 

Kaidan talked to the Jarl’s Steward and got a list of bandit locations to deal with. Heading out he stopped by the trader’s store and exchanged his treasures for a total of 2,500 Septims, which was a really great start. 

The first bandit location was at a mine called Bilegulch Mine, an Orichalcum ore mine. It looked to be an old Orc settlement but now seems to be overrun by bandits. When he reached the mine, there weren’t that many bandits to dispatch and their leader was in the mine alone, who died quickly by his sword. 

It took Kaidan a few days to kill all the other bandit leaders in Cracked Tusk Keep, Embershard Mine, and Knifepoint Ridge. Bandits were ruthless, but pin them against someone with any sort of skill and they were easily defeated. 

_ Bandits deserve nothing more than a knife in their spine_. He had a special hate for criminals who preyed on the weak and not just for personal reasons. These bounties not only brought him closer to his goal, but he helped rid Falkreath of these pieces filth. 

When he returned, he provided the Jarl with proof that the bandit leaders were dead. "The bandit leaders will trouble Falkreath no more, my Jarl.” 

Jarl Siddgeir was quite pleased with how quickly Kaidan got rid of the bandits in his Hold. “Teach them to stop paying me. Here, you deserve a reward for your service. And, you know what? I like you. You’re not afraid to get your hands dirty. I hereby grant you permission to purchase property in Falkreath hold. Talk to my Steward if you’re interested. In the meantime, if you still wish to become Thane, you must make yourself known to my people. Go do some favors for them or something...I don’t care.” 

“Thank you, my Jarl.” 

The Jarl was a disgusting piece of work, but he paid well. Kaidan was going to try to be Thane, but for the moment, he was more focused on that piece of land. He needed to get a start on it before he headed back to Runa. With only having a week left there wasn't much time to get started building a house, so he was going to have to hire a lot of people to work on it quickly. 

He now had enough Septims to buy building materials. He headed over to Gray Pines Goods and purchased some clay, stone, nails, hinges, straw, and glass and had it delivered at the Lakeview location. At the Inn, he rustled up some people to help him get started on building. Then he went to the mill to order enough logs to build the house. 

The next morning, he headed out to scout the area where he wanted to build the house exactly. There was quite a bit of land, but the spot for the house had to be just right. When he got there, the location was absolutely gorgeous. The land was surrounded by snowy mountains and filled with meadows of wildflowers of all sorts of colors from red to purple to yellow. 

There was plenty of game and the woods were thick. There was a hilltop that looked out onto the lake, which would be the perfect location for the house, he decided. They could live well here for a long time. He smiled feeling happy and proud of himself. 

Materials started arriving by the next afternoon. It was a beautiful and warm day, so he removed his tunic and got started on laying down the foundation with some of the workers he hired. He had it all planned out. It would have an entryway leading to a comfortable sitting room with a dining area and a kitchen in the back. On the right will be some guest bedrooms. He designed a beautiful main bedroom, which will feature more bookcases, a fireplace, a wardrobe for clothes and a privy with a washbasin. The upstairs will feature two extra rooms with beds and the loft area will have a library and study. He knew Runa was well-read, but he enjoyed reading just as much. There will also be a cellar for storage. The outside will have some gardens and a place to raise animals so they could be self-sufficient. 

In the evenings, he would sit in his tent carving into some bone by the light of the fire. Brynjar taught him how to scrimshaw into Horker tusk and Kaidan enjoyed it because it relaxed him to do something artistic and detailed. He didn’t do it often, but it reduced his tension when he did. When he was done working on his piece each night, he would lay down on his bedroll and think about Runa.

This wasn’t a marriage thing. Maybe that can happen one day, but he’s not sure marriage would even be for him, or if she would even have him if she ever really knew him. He didn’t hold out much hope for that. But since Runa and he were tied together for a while and he adored her, he wanted to be able to give her something. He couldn’t have her providing everything. Since he spent most of his life running, it was time for a change. If she ended up without him or hating him, well at least he would have a home to come to that was all his. But he hoped that wouldn’t come to pass. 

When his week was up, he loaded up Thor and gave him a kiss on his nose. Thor expected a kiss and showed him by sticking out his nose every time Kaidan walked by. It was strange kissing a horse on the nose, but Kaidan finally relented because it helped him bond with the horse. “If you tell a soul I kiss you, I will never do it again.” Thor snorted as if he understood. When he was done loading, he looked back at his progress, smiled and headed out.


	31. Kaidan's Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan finally makes it back to Whiterun and Runa is no where to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, commenting and kudos! I means so much!!!

Looking forward to seeing Runa, Kaidan rode Thor as fast as he could back to Whiterun. He was eager to see her face and feel her warm body again. He missed her but didn’t realize how much until he could see Whiterun in the distance. He hoped she liked his little gift as well. It wasn’t gold or jewels, but he worked hard on it and he thought it turned out well. 

It was early evening by the time he got into Whiterun, so she should be home. He was back early enough that maybe they could head to the inn for some good food and mead. Opening the door to the little house, he called out to her to let her know he was back, but he was greeted only with silence. 

He headed up the stairs to see if maybe she was napping, but the bed looked like it hadn’t been slept in. Now that he thought about it, the house was cold as if she hadn’t been there for a while. He went to check the fire to see if there were any embers and found there were none. So, not even a fire in a while. 

_ Where could she have gone? _ He hoped she didn’t trek off to go kill a dragon or put herself in danger as he made her promise. Heading to the inn, he thought maybe she would be there eating, but he was starting to have his doubts because of the coldness of the house. She clearly hadn’t been home for some while. 

Starting to get nervous, he decided to ask around the inn when he didn’t see her. Surely someone had seen her recently. He saw Andrienne, the blacksmith, and asked her if Runa had picked up her armor or weapons. 

“No, she never came to pick up her equipment. It’s been sitting in my shop for a few days now.” 

Getting really nervous now, he talked to some of the other locals and they all shook their heads that they had not seen her. Finally, he was able to talk to the barkeep, who had been very busy, and asked her about Runa. She said that she had seen Runa around several days ago with Aela and some of the other Companions. That Runa had been spending a lot of time with them recently. That must be where she is, he thought with great relief. He thanked her and headed straight to Jorrvaskr to let her know he was back. 

When he entered Jorrvaskr, most of the Companions were sitting down eating dinner, but Runa was nowhere to be seen. 

“Where is she? Where's Runa?” he demanded, getting worried and irritated. One of the twins looked up at Kaidan, Vilkas he remembered and said with a strange concern in his eyes said otherwise, “We haven’t seen her for a few days. She must be out with Farkas and Aela or Skjor somewhere doing some jobs. They haven’t been around since she left with Farkas to hunt Vampires a few days ago.” 

“VAMPIRES!” Kaidan suddenly roared. “Why in Oblivion would you send her out to kill Vampires! Are you people insane?!” 

Vilkas stood up and came over to Kaidan, getting irritated in return. He didn’t like Kaidan, most particularly because he stood in the way between him and Runa. “She is part of our family now. She had a job to do and she did it; honoring us.” 

“Runa is an abled lass, but sending her off to a dangerous situation to which she has never been in was stupid! She knows absolutely nothing about vampires!” He inched closer to Vilkas in a threatening manner. 

Vilkas was very worried about Runa’s disappearance, but he wasn’t about to tell Kaidan that. “You are the stupid one for leaving her behind. I would never have left a beautiful creature such as she alone. The fault lies with you.” Vilkas was getting in his face trying to provoke him; trying to take his worry out on Kaidan. 

He flirted and teased her, but he had genuine feelings for her and it didn’t help that she was with Kaidan and there was nothing he could do about it. Everyone was watching to see what would happen between the two very large men. 

Kaidan tried to calm himself and breathe, he didn’t have time to beat the shit out of Vilkas, which he sorely wanted to do right now, knowing this man was just trying to provoke him. Getting angry won’t find Runa. 

Rubbing his face with his hands, a bit calmer, he breathed, “When was she last seen? Is it common to do a job and not come back?” 

Vilkas looked at the others and then back at Kaidan, no longer cocky and had concern back in his eyes. “No, it’s not usual. She must be with Aela, Skjor, and Farkas, who are all very capable. She’s in good hands.” 

“How do you know she’s even with them if she hasn’t returned yet and she only traveled with Farkas for the job?” 

Vilkas finally relented and sighed heavily, “We don’t.” He was just as worried about her and being angry at Kaidan won’t help matters. 

Kaidan was furious again. “If ANYTHING has happened to her, by the Nine I swear I will send you all to the planes of Oblivion!” With that, he stormed out not sure what else to do. 

He was furious with those people having so little care for their members. And, what is with that man, Vilkas, trying to provoke him? Did he have feelings for Runa? If the Companions didn’t even know where their own members were, how could they know where Runa was? He decided to head back to the little house and think. 

Splashing cold water on his face to calm himself down and eating a quick bite to eat, he paced the small downstairs room racking his brain on what to do. She could be anywhere, he thought. Skyrim is a big place and he had no idea where to begin looking for her. 

There was a light knock on the door and Kaidan rushed to open it stupidly hoping it was Runa because why would she be knocking. Instead, he saw a young woman with dark hair. A woman he saw earlier at Jorrvaskr. “Can I come in?” she asked. 

Kaidan let her in but didn’t invite her in further. Towering over the smaller woman with his arms folded across his chest. “What do you want?” 

“I’m Ria. I first want to apologize for Vilkas. You should know that he...he has grown really fond of Runa. He’s actually very worried about her; worried about the other members too. He’s just angry that you left her and...” 

“I do not give a fuck about Vilkas’ ‘feelings’ right now,” he interrupted. She just confirmed what Kaidan already assumed. “Do you have any useful information or are you just here piss me off more about feelings Vilkas has for my Runa?” 

“Right, sorry. Yes, well I think so. A few nights ago, I was up getting something to eat when I heard heated arguments from Aela, Skjor, and Farkas. I couldn’t really tell what they were saying because they were arguing in whispers. Since it was Farkas there and he was supposed to be with Runa...well, maybe something happened to her. We are all worried right now and we were trying to keep it in house, but I thought you deserved to know.” 

“Right...let’s go.” He pulled out his sword, then roughly grabbed Ria by the arm and marched them back to Jorrvaskr. They headed downstairs where the living quarters were and everyone had gone to bed. “Which one is Vilkas’ room?” he whispered. She nervously pointed to the right, down the hall. He marched down, drew his sword, opened Vilkas’ door silently and pressed his sword to Vilkas’ throat. “You’re going to get up right now and you’re going to help me find Runa.” 

Vilkas looked like he was debating on risking a sword to the throat and beat the shit out of Kaidan or relent. He chose the latter, nodded and got up to get dressed because he was very worried about her. He can beat the shit out of Kaidan later. 

As they were headed out of Jorrvaskr, several people came inside laughing loudly and Kaidan suddenly saw Aela, Farkas, and Runa. She was looking wild with her hair in knots and blood all over her. He didn’t know whether to kiss her or throttle her. So many emotions were coursing through his mind and all he could say was, “Where in Oblivion have you been?!” 

Aela looked over and saw a very angry Kaidan with his sword drawn towards a stressed Vilkas looking like he wanted to kill. She started to pull out her own sword, but Runa touched her arm to let her know it was OK. She saw enough on Kaidan’s face to tell that he was angry, so she didn’t immediately go up to him to hug him. Farkas stepped up, “Let me explain...” 

Kaidan looked at him, “Shut...the...fuck...up.” 

Farkas raised his hands and went silent. Kaidan sheathed his sword and grabbed Runa to bring her home. Half dragging her as she was protesting. Finally, in the house, he was about to tear into her...


	32. Animal Instincts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa explains what happened to her to Kaidan. Kaidan obviously doesn't take it too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Very rough sex in this chapter.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and comments!! It means everything!

“What in Oblivion are you doing?! What is wrong with you, Kaidan?! How dare you treat me like that in front of them! Or at all for that matter! I am not some petulant child! you are NOT my father and you do NOT own me!” she yelled. He had never seen her so angry; it brought him down a notch and he suddenly found himself at a loss for words. 

“I...I...Dammit, I was worried about you, Runa! I came back and no one knew where you were, there were signs that something bad happened to you and I didn’t know what to do! You come back wild looking and covered in blood...” He finally yelled back, stepping up closer to her to look down on her. He was fuming again. 

She didn’t back down an inch, “I’m fine! More than fine! I have never felt more alive...” She started to pace around the room with these wild eyes and wild hair. Looking back at him, she decided to tell him everything, “I was attacked by a Master Vampire; he bit me.” 

“What!!” He yelled more out of fear than anger. But she held up her hand to silence him so she could finish. 

“Yes, I thought I was going to die and come back as some undead monster. Farkas had to carry me out the ruins and he rushed me back to Whiterun. I was pretty out of it most of the time, so I don’t know all the details. I just remember I felt like I was on fire. My whole body was aflame on the inside as well as outside. It was so painful, Kai. Aela, Skjor and Farkas must have brought me somewhere because when I woke up, I was in a cave-like place I didn’t recognize.” 

He sat down, deflated while she continued her story, rubbing his head with his hands. Worry etched all over his face and it hit him in the pit of his stomach. Was she a Vampire now? Is that why she’s covered in blood? She was feeding? 

“Are you a...a...” he couldn’t finish what he was trying to ask. 

She shook her head, “No, I’m not a Vampire. They cured me Kaidan!” she said excitedly. “Aela and Skyor saved me! I’m so much stronger and my senses are so finely tuned; I have never felt more alive! I...I can feel your heartbeat!” she said as she placed her hand on his chest. 

He looked up at her confused. “You see it was too late to cure me with any potions. We were too far from the nearest healer. I was turning into a Vampire. But you know what? Aela, Skyor, Vilkas, and Farkas? They are Werewolves!” She was pacing back and forth, eyes wild, excited. 

“When I woke up a day later, I was a werewolf! I could feel everything. I could hear everything. I could sense a rabbit’s heartbeat a mile away! Don’t you see it? It was the only way to cure me from being undead. Now, I’m powerful and alive!” 

Kaidan just sat there worried for her and watching her pace. He wasn’t sure how this was any better. Runa a werewolf? No, this can’t be happening. He put his head in his hands and continued to listen to her. Vampires? Werewolves? 

She bent down to move his hands from his face and looked up at him. “Kaidan, this is a good thing! I’m strong and alive and healthy! You don’t have to protect me anymore. When I transitioned back to my body, we went hunting. The Silver Hand has been slaughtering the werewolves; torturing them! We had to do something about it, so we wiped out two of their bases. It was exhilarating!”

‘Killing’ and ‘exhilarating’ was not how she would have described things before. Killing people bothered her; that was one of the things he liked about her. 

Kaidan stood up, not sure what to do about all this. Part of him wanted to go to the Champions and kill them all for what they had done to Runa. But it wouldn’t have changed the fact that Runa was now some werewolf, and this was also, in part, her fault. She shouldn’t have gone to kill that Vampire; a Master Vampire at that. She was very skilled, but she underestimated her enemy. 

“I missed you so much, Kaidan! I’m so glad you are back.” She looked up at him with her wild and hungry beautiful blue eyes. Staring intently into her eyes, he finally bent down, grabbed her face and kissed her deeply; angrily. After two weeks of missing her and full of panic and anger when he got back, he was suddenly hungry for her. He just couldn’t resist her, but it was anger and frustration that was fueling him.

She pulled away, gasping for breath and tore his tunic off of him and lunged at his chest, biting him, scratching him. He too tore off her bloody tunic and ripping off her boots and pants. Smelling the blood on her body fueled him even more. 

Lifting her roughly up, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he fumbled with his pants; pulling out his hard cock. He slammed her back against the wall and inserted himself into her wetness; fucking her hard and deep. He bit at her nipples while she screamed in pleasure. She grabbed at his hair and started pulling at it, biting and kissing his neck. This was the insatiable type of hunger that no matter how much you eat; you will never be full or satisfied. 

He moved as fast and hard as he could, not caring if he was hurting her. He wanted to get in as deep as he possibly could. All of his emotions went into each thrust and she brought out this animal in him. He could feel her clawing at him painfully; biting his shoulder and drawing blood. He ignored it while he pounded in her, biting her neck and roughly grabbing her hair. 

Looking at her heatedly in her wild blue eyes and it didn’t take him long before he exploded in her. He didn’t even bother pulling out. He wasn’t going to stop fucking her until he was fully spent. They stood like that with him still inside of her for a minute while their breathing calmed down. 

When he was done and clarity set in, they dislodged themselves and he looked at the mess that was Runa and what they did to each other. Their torn clothes were all over the floor, they had knocked over books, pottery, food. He could see bleeding bites and scratches all over him and her eyes were still wild and heated. This wasn’t Runa; this wasn’t him. The rough sex they just had brought back painful memories of another time; another life. Walking away from her, he went to bed. They were going to have to find some way to fix this or...he didn’t want to think about the alternative. 

That night, Runa was still very much awake. She sat curled up in the chair and watched Kaidan sleep fitfully. He looked so miserable and she hurt him; not just physically, but emotionally. He had scars all over his body from his past and the torture, and she just added to them because she couldn’t control herself. The look on his face when they were done pounding each other; she couldn’t bear it. That was a look of someone who was going to give up on her. 

This was wrong; it was all wrong. None of this should have happened. She wasn’t prepared for the Vampire and should not have been out there hunting it. She should have said no, but she wanted to prove herself; prove herself to her new family. Prove to  _ herself _ that she could be strong and didn’t need a protector. She thought being a werewolf was the lesser of two evils, and Aela said such great things about it, but she saw how Kaidan had looked at her, it was clear this was all wrong. She was going to have to find a way to fix this. If anyone knew how to help her, it would be Kodlak. He had been talking for a while now about trying to find a cure. She would go see him in the morning.


	33. The Talisman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa finds Kaidan's gift. They both go see Kodlak for a possible cure for Runa.

Before the sun came up, Runa threw on a shift and headed downstairs to clean up their mess from last night. Picking up Kaidan’s clothes, something fell out of his pants pocket onto the ground. She picked it up and looked closely at it. It was white and circular with a dark leather tie. It looked to be made from some sort of bone with a beautiful geometric pattern around the edge and in the center was a male and female deer with their necks entwined together. It was so beautiful and she wondered where Kaidan got it. She flipped it around and it had the same geometric circular pattern on the back and in the center was Runa’s name. Emotional pain hit her hard in her stomach and she went to sit down at the table. _Did he make this? _

An hour later, Kaidan put some pants on and headed downstairs to get something to eat. He wasn’t very hungry, but he knew he had to eat something. He wasn’t looking forward to facing Runa after last night. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he could see Runa sitting at the table in her shift. She had her back to him, so he couldn’t tell what she was doing. 

Part of him wanted to grab her and hold her; the other part of him wanted to just leave. It was naïve of him to think that things would always be perfect with someone he barely knew. And, now he knew her even less. She came home last night a completely different person; half of a person. At the same time, he also knew that he wasn’t always a good person and had done some horrible things. If he could change for the better, then he could see about working on this situation; to give them a chance. 

He went to sit at the table next to her and saw her holding the talisman he carved for her. She must have found it when she was cleaning up. She was still a mess and it looked like she hadn’t slept all night. Her hair was in tangles, dried blood on her skin and tears running down her face. He found himself suddenly softening at that. He sat down looking at her but didn’t reach out. 

“Did you make this?” she whispered without looking up. 

“I did. I made it while I was away in the evenings.” 

“Is it for me?” 

“Of course; you can see your name on the back.” 

“I didn't know you were so artistic.” 

“I’m no silversmith, otherwise it would have been made from silver. But, I’m fairly good at scrimshaw, which Brynjar taught me. I usually work in Horker tusk, but I made this one from dragon bone from the last dragon we killed. It was very hard to work with, but I guess that means it will last a long time,” he explained. 

“It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” 

He put out his hand for her to hand him the talisman. When she reluctantly gave it back thinking he would take it away from her, he stood up and tied it around her neck. That suddenly made her cry. 

“I’m so sorry, Kai. I...I struggled without you. I am not a strong person like I thought I was. When you left, I realized I had never been alone before and I had no friends to speak of. I’m just a stupid, spoiled, noble girl. I ended up running into Aela and thought I would make some friends, but one thing led to another and now I’m this...this MONSTER!” 

He sat down, pulled her over to him so she could sit on his lap and he held her while she cried. Sitting on him while he held her made her cry that much more, partly from guilt and partly from relief. “I hurt you last night. I couldn’t control myself. I’m so sorry for everything.” 

He was still a bit angry with her, and at himself, if he were being brutally honest, but he was glad some of his old Runa was back. “It’s OK. But I’m going to be honest, I don’t know how I am going to handle this situation. This is going to be tough for me to deal with. I especially didn't like how I handled last night either.” She just nodded her head on his neck crying; feeling her tears spill down his shoulder. 

After some time holding each other quietly Runa spoke up, “I heard Kodlak talking a few times about him looking for a cure. I would like to go see him today about it if that is alright. Would...would you come with me?” 

“He thinks there is a cure out there?” he asked hopefully. 

“Maybe, I just heard him talking to the twins periodically about it without listening to the full conversation because that was before I knew what they really were. So, I wasn’t understanding what he was talking about until now.” 

“OK, yes, let’s go talk to him.” 

After she got herself cleaned up, they walked hand-in-hand to Jorrvaskr. When they entered inside, Vilkas was there walking up to them and blocked their path. He could see Runa had been crying, which made him angry. With arms crossed and looking Kaidan right in the eyes, “Runa, are you OK?” 

“Yes, Vilkas, I’m fine. He was just worried about me.” 

“We were _all _worried about you; _I _was worried about you,” he said still looking at Kaidan, daring him to do something stupid. 

Kaidan sighed and threw clenched teeth, he said, “Vilkas get out of our way. We are here to talk to Kodlak.” 

“I just want to make sure you aren’t going to cause more trouble and upset our Runa here.” 

Kaidan had enough of Vilkas. “She’s NOT you’re...” 

“ENOUGH!” Runa shouted and they both looked at her in shock. “Stop it! Vilkas, I am not anyone’s property, but I _am _with Kaidan, not you. Now if you will please, let us through.” 

Vilkas stepped aside looking back at her with a bit of sadness in his eyes. They headed down the stairs to the living quarters where Kodlak spent most of his time. When they got to Kodlak, Aela was speaking to him urgently and trying not to cry. Kodlak nodded and patted her shoulder. 

When they sat down, Kodlak looked up, his face looking older than normal, “We have had some bad news. Skjor was found dead last night at the hands of the Silver Hand. This is sad news for our family. It seems you all have taken more lives than honor demanded. There have been many deaths and all the attacks on the Silver Hand may cause a cycle of retaliation for some time to come, Skjor being the first of many, I’m afraid.” 

“I’m so very sorry, Kodlak.” 

“It’s no business of mine what each Companion does in the name of honor. But this sneaking around with you three; it doesn’t befit warriors of your standing. Aela knows better, and so should you.” 

This made Runa feel even worse believing that their attacks on the Silver Hand were the direct cause of Skjor’s death. 

“Tell me, what would you like to discuss. It looks important judging by your faces.” 

“Yes, I heard you talking a few times about some cure. I was wondering if you could tell us about it? I didn’t ask to be changed into a werewolf, but I would have died had I not. I would like to know if there is a way to be myself again...to be cured?” she asked, looking at Kodlak hopefully. 

He looked at her for a while, “Have you heard the story of how we came to be werewolves?” 


	34. Hircine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kodlak explains about the cure and sends Runa and Kaidan to obtain the Glemoril witches' heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and commenting!! It means so much!!

“Skjor said it was a blessing from Hircine and Vilkas said it was a curse laid upon the ancient Champions,” Runa said.

“Skjor was a believer and Vilkas has a nugget of truth, but the reality is more complicated than either of them could tell you,” he explained.

“What is the truth then?”

“The Companions are nearly five thousand years old. This matter of beastblood has only troubled us for a few hundred. One of my predecessors was a good, but short-sighted man. He made a bargain with the witches of Glenmoril Coven. If the Companions would hunt in the name of their lord, Hircine, we would be granted great power.”

“So, they became werewolves?” Kaidan said in more of a statement rather than a question.

Kodlak nodded his head, “They did not believe the change would be permanent. The witches offered payment, like anyone else. But we had been deceived. The disease, you see, affects not just our bodies. It seeps into the spirit. Upon death, werewolves are claimed by Hircine for his Hunting Grounds. For some, this is paradise, like for Aela or Skjor. They want nothing more than to chase prey with their master for eternity. And that is their choice. But I am still a true Nord. And I wish for Sovngarde as my spirit home.”

Runa was even more worried than before. She not only had to worry if she could be cured or not, but now she had to worry about her very soul. She didn’t want to die and end up a servant to a Daedric Prince. Kaidan too understood the cost...all too well. 

“So, is there a way to cure this?” she asked.

“That is what I have spent my twilight years trying to find out. And now I’ve found the answer. The witches’ magic ensnared us, and only their magic can release us. They won’t give it willingly, but we can extract their foul powers by force. I want you to seek them out. Go to their coven in the wilderness. Strike them down as a true warrior of the wild. And bring me their heads. The seat of their abilities. From there, we may begin to undo centuries of impurity.”

“Now wait a second! The last time you all sent Runa to hunt down some creature she almost died from a Master Vampire, which forced you all to turn her into some werewolf in the first place! Now her mortal soul is in danger. And you want to send her into a coven full of vile and powerful hagravens and kill not one, but ALL of them? There has GOT to be another way!” This was all too much for Kaidan.

“You only have half of it, son,” Kodlak said, unperturbed by Kaidan’s outburst. “When you return, we will also have to re-forge Wuuthrad, which is in pieces. We have all the pieces, but once it’s re-forged, we have to take the intact great-axe of Ysgramor to open Ysgramor’s Tomb where we will hold the ritual to cure us. The tomb is also full of many dangers.”

Kaidan sat back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose feeling a headache coming on and sighed heavily.  _ What a fucking mess _ .

Runa then stood up. “It will be done.” She walked off before she could hear Kaidan’s protests as if that would stop him--or he could stop her. She was going to do this, no matter what.

When they got back to the little house, Kaidan didn’t say anything at all to Runa’s surprise. No protests, no complaining, no arguing...nothing. He just started loading up their packs and gathering their weapons for the trip. 

“Tomorrow, the very first thing we are doing is getting your armor and weapons,” he finally said. He was stressed but determined. 

“Why aren’t you stopping me from doing this? What has changed suddenly?” 

After he didn’t respond, “Kaidan!” 

He turned around to face her and looked at her with worry. “I am glad to have some answers for a possible cure. But this may mean our deaths over something that may or may not work. But, I’m not letting you go alone on this. I’m worried that I will lose you, but if we don’t do this, I may lose you anyway.” 

After a long pause, “If there is a chance to cure you, then we should take it despite the dangers. I don’t want you controlled by some damned Daedric Prince. They’re...they’re monsters.” 

He grabbed her to him and just held her. “I don’t know what in Oblivion you do to me. You have my emotions running all over the damned place and I feel like I’m going to go crazy. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going half the time with you. This is completely unfamiliar territory for me.” 

“It’s OK. I understand.” She melded into him, happy to be holding him after everything. She wasn’t sure if he would even still be here, but he is and he was coming with her to help cure her. 

He pulled back from her and looked down into her eyes. She could see he was struggling with something internally. What it was, she could not guess and was afraid to ask. But she knew that just because he was coming with her didn’t mean he was going to stay with her. Their relationship was now full of uncertainties and it was all her fault. She hated the feeling.

All he was feeling was fear. He knew how dangerous it was to be involved in Daedric Princes on a personal level. He almost died escaping that life and he didn’t want Runa to have to suffer what he did. She was too beautiful of a soul to end up in the hands of one of them. She deserved more than that.

_ These strong feelings I have for her are so confusing. I’m angry at the same time doing everything I can to not panic and worry...and something else. If something happens to her, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. _

**********

The first thing they did in the morning before heading out was to pick up her leather armor and weapons. Kaidan made her wear it before they headed out. It was a lot heavier than she was used to. It was thick leather with sewn metal plates that would protect her but allow for easy movement. It wasn’t as pretty as her other leather pieces, but it would protect her much better. 

She tested out her ebony sword and axe. Swinging, cutting, slicing. They both felt exceptional in her hands. Adrianne did a phenomenal job on all of her gear. Kaidan watched her expertise with the dual weapons in her new armor. She moved very well in it despite the heaviness. It made him feel better that she was more prepared for what is to come. She strapped on her belt to attach her new weapons; the axe on her right hip and the sword in its scabbard on the left, with her bow on her back. She was now ready for any encounters.


	35. Declarations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa and Kaidan travel to Falkreath and try to deal with all their strong feelings and issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading!!!! <3

Glenmoril Coven was located in a cave far West of Falkreath, just bordering on The Reach territory. It would take three days to get to their destination by horse, so they had to be supplied and prepared to camp. They decided the first night would be spent in Riverwood and in the morning, they would head directly West from there. 

That evening they were back, again, at the Sleeping Giant Inn. “This is becoming a regular habit for us,” Runa awkwardly chuckled as they sat down waiting to order some food and mead. 

“Let me get this tonight. I have a bit of coin and want to buy you dinner for a change,” Kaidan said. 

“Oh, well thank you, Kai.” 

“Please, it’s the least I can do. You pay for everything and I don’t like that I can’t do the same in return.” 

“It’s OK, Kai. I am able to do it, so I do; it’s my pleasure to. I don’t do it for obligations or you owe me something.” 

“I know, but it doesn’t feel right,” he looked sheepishly up at her. 

She nodded, “I can understand that.”

Runa had been increasingly nervous around Kaidan. She wasn’t sure what to say or do; afraid to touch him. This was the first time she had felt insecure about everything. 

They were quiet most of the evening eating and sipping mead; not sure exactly what to say to each other. The past couple of days had been very trying on their fledgling relationship. Both of them struggling to know what to say and wondering what the other was thinking. 

This wasn’t at all how he imagined coming back to her after two weeks. He was also disappointed by not being able to give her his talisman in a special way. It may not have worked out according to plan, but at least he knew she loved it as he was watching her play with it lost in thought. 

She looked at him with uncertainty, then quickly looked down at her food. _ He probably doesn’t want to be with me tonight. _ “It’s, uhm, pretty quiet tonight and they probably have more than one room. Do...do you want your own room, or...I...or would you like to stay with me?” 

He looked at her in all her uncertainty and nervousness. “I’m going to be honest with you, Runa.” As he said that, her stomach flip-flopped and not in a good way and she couldn’t keep her eyes from watering. She could hear the bad news in his voice and words.

“I...I don’t like how I behaved around you the other night. I behaved like...like a fucking animal and I wasn't responsible. I shouldn’t have done that and I’m not proud of myself. I should have controlled myself. I...I’m sorry.” 

She sat there in silence dreading what was going to come next. _ He’s going to tell me it wasn’t going to work out. He can’t trust me. _

“I...dammit, it’s just that all this brought back some bad memories. Things I didn’t want to think about and...and, we just started you and me. It was nice, it was real, it was honest. I want more of that. But, this...” he shook his head, brow furrowed and chugged the rest of his mead. 

_ Was? _ Tears were uncontrollably spilling now. But she had to speak up. Keep him with her somehow.

“You feel bad about that night and you are blaming yourself? But I too was involved. I too lost my control. I have been blaming myself for that since. And, I never once thought you were at fault in any way. But I also know you are angry with me. I wish I could take it all back.” 

They were quiet again for a while as she was trying to keep her tears under control. Then she felt his hand reach for hers and were holding hands across the table, which made her that much more upset. She was trying not to cry in public...it was embarrassing. 

He saw she was clearly upset and he didn’t know what else to say to her. He was trying to figure out all his emotions and was too confused to approach hers.

After a while, Runa spoke up. Her curiosity getting the better of her about what he said earlier. “You said that it brought back bad memories; what happened?” 

“I can’t right now, Runa. I’m...I’m just not ready for that.” She just nodded at that. 

Kaidan let go of her hand and stood up to talk to the barkeep and came back with two more mead. “I got us a room...one room.” 

Runa smiled slightly and wiped away tears while sipping on her new mead. 

They both removed their armor and clothes when they got to their room and crawled into bed; both of them facing each other. He moved her hair out of her face; it had become something of a habit for him to do, so he could look at her. 

He wanted her. He always wanted her. But after last time, he was having a hard time trusting himself, especially with the way she was, being a werewolf. It sounded so strange in his head. So, they just fell asleep in each other’s arms.

********** 

They got an early start in the morning. The ride was easy on their horses as it was fairly level by the lake and there was a well-traveled road. It was also beautiful. Falkreath was a lovely area that had flat green meadows surrounded by thick woods and mountains. The beautifully large lake was to die for. 

Kaidan made no mention of all the work he was doing in the area. The house he was having built wasn’t far off from where they currently were. 

They decided to camp at a pretty little spot by the lake. Runa got the fire together while Kaidan set up their tent and bedrolls. After their meal, they sat silently in their tent together. She wanted so badly to be near him and hold him. After last night holding each other in bed, she hoped they were past all this. But Kaidan was not making any move to be near her or even look at her for that matter. He still seemed so far away. 

She couldn’t take it anymore. “Kaidan!” She finally said after a long while, exasperated. “We can’t keep avoiding each other. You have been completely somewhere else and I can’t seem to reach you. We have to get past this...please.” She looked at him imploringly trying not to cry again. 

But he didn’t respond right away. He was trying to think of the right words. Runa couldn’t take it anymore and stood up to leave...go for a walk or something. But as she stood, he grasped her hand to pull her back down. She sat and looked at him, waiting to see what he had to say.

“I...I promised you a debt when you freed me from that prison. Most would say that my debt has been paid now...” 

Her eyes started to water as she interrupted him, “So, you...you are you leaving then? After this?” 

He looked over at her with wide eyes. “What? No...no, that was not what I was saying. I’m...let me start over. I have been on my own for a long time and had no place where I belonged; no one I could trust...” He was silent for a moment, trying to think of the words. 

_ Get it together, Kaidan. _

“There are many ways to save a life and you have saved mine more ways than I can count,” he continued. 

This she was not expecting, wiping away her tears. She was expecting something along the lines that he wanted to move on after they found the cure. She wanted to reach out to him, but still too uncertain.

“Kai, I...” 

“Please let me finish before I say this all wrong. Dammit, a man should be a master of himself, but when I’m with you that control slips just out of reach. I...I want you more than just tasting your lips or feeling your skin on mine...” _ Why can’t I get these words out? _

It was clear he was struggling with the words and he looked stressed. “It’s OK. You can tell me anything.” 

He looked at her then. “That’s the thing; I feel like I can do just that. You are so precious to me. Every morning I wake up, my first thought is of you and I get this hope I’ve never had before that...maybe I shouldn’t go on.” He went back to looking at the fire. He finally recognized all these feelings he had for her but was struggling to put them into words.

She put her hand on his face to make him look at her. “Please tell me.” 

He sighed heavily, looking into her watery eyes. _ Just out with it already. _ “I’m in love with you, Runa. That is why it has been hard for me when I got back to Whiterun. I was so terrified I was going to lose you and after I _finally_ found some sort of hope in this world. I finally recognized what I had been feeling all along.” 

That was the last thing she was expecting him to say. She too had been feeling the same way. She recognized it when she was talking to Alva the last time, but didn’t tell her. 

She wiped her face of tears and didn’t waste a second more. “Kai...I love you too.” 

He breathed a sigh of relief; the relief apparent on his face. “Then tell me again and I might be satisfied...”

“I love you.” 

Kaidan finally let go of his fear of hurting her and she let go of hers. He lifted her to sit on his lap facing him as he kissed her deeply. He was just going to hold her and kiss her, but after a declaration such as theirs, the kissing and touching took on a whole new meaning and feeling. It was passionate and deep. It wasn’t rushed or hurtful. 

They removed their armor and clothes and she settled onto his lap and he inserted himself into her while he thrust gently. He gently massaged her breast and kissed her neck while she kissed his shoulder and tried to keep his rhythmic pace. She was still new at this and figuring out what to do and not to do. 

As he felt himself getting closer, he lifted her with him still inside her and laid her down gently on the bedroll. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. His climax was completely different than what it had been before. It was amazing how different things feel with someone you love and they love you back. 

When they were done, she curled up into him and just cried. It was a happy cry, a relief cry and a cry that he loved her and wasn’t going to leave her. He just held her tightly and let her cry.


	36. Death of a Leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glenmoril coven is a success. Now Runa and Kaidan are faced with the death of Kodlak and an enraged Vilkas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!!

Their next destination was Glenmoril Coven. Their silence in the morning was an indication of their nervousness. 

"According to legend, these witches were once regular women who exchanged their humanity for the ability to become hagravens who had a strange and extreme hatred for nature. They look like part old woman and part raven with black feathers on their arms and legs and talon-like feet. They are also powerful spellcasters, but if one gets too close, they can claw you and infect you with brain rot. Hagravens were not to be underestimated." Kaidan explained this to an attentive Runa. She didn't want to make the same mistakes as last time with the vampires. 

Kaidan explained that he wanted her to shoot at them from a distance, as will he, and to let him handle any close encounters should the need arise. He didn't want her anywhere near these witches.

They managed to kill four of the five hagravens with relative ease using stealth but the fifth one knew they were there and she was waiting for them. Runa was too busy dodging the witch's fireballs to shoot her arrows at the creature, forcing Kaidan to get up close to her with his sword, but the hagraven was ready for him and sliced at his arm through his leather with her talons. Kaidan quickly decapitated her as he dropped to the ground feeling her poison enter his blood, spreading through his body. He could feel the burning coursing through him. 

Runa didn’t waste a second on panicking. She grabbed the potion to cure diseases they brought with them just for this very thing. They were going to be prepared this time. She rushed over to Kaidan and made him drink it quickly before the disease hit his brain. It took a second for the fire in his body to stop spreading and he sat there for a minute to catch his breath and still his heart until he was feeling normal again. 

“That was too close, Kai.” 

Nodding, “Aye, I know. I am glad we were prepared. Thank you for getting me that potion so quickly.” 

“Are you OK?” She was now letting the panic set in. Her hands were suddenly shaking and her heart was beating hard in her chest as she was hit with a surge of adrenaline. “I could have lost you right then and there. That was a horrible feeling!” 

“I’m OK, Love,” he said getting up and kissing her forehead. 

Not wasting any more time, they grabbed the heads and headed back straight to Whiterun. 

When Runa and Kaidan finally made it back, they had to get some sleep before meeting Kodlak. They could barely keep their eyes open when they reached home. He placed the bag in a barrel tightly so it wouldn’t stink up the place then they crashed in bed, barely removing their armor and slept for several hours. When they awoke, they didn’t waste any more time and headed straight to Jorrvaskr. 

As they got closer, they noticed there was a crowd around Jorrvaskr, staring and pointing. They both sensed something bad was going on. As they moved closer and they could see several dead bodies strewn all over the ground. Neither Runa nor Kaidan recognized who they were, why they were dead or what had happened. Entering Jorrvaskr, they saw a couple of the Companions injured on the ground being treated and saw a few more dead bodies. 

“Where in Oblivion have you been!” yelled Vilkas as soon as he saw Runa and Kaidan walk in. 

“We were out on a mission for Kodlak,” Runa replied quietly, looking around at all the destruction and bodies. “What’s happened here?”

“Well, I do hope it was all worth it because you weren't here to protect him...protect Kodlak,” he said angrily, arms crossed. She looked at him and saw he had some wounds and his armor was covered in blood.

“Wait, what? Kodlak is...is dead?” Fear and sadness gripped Runa. She looked over and saw several Companions mourning over a body that she quickly noticed it was Kodlak. Tears sprung up in her eyes. He was such a kind man. But the tears were also for her, wondering if she would ever be cured.

“Yes, he’s dead! The Silver Hand finally got the balls to attack Jorrvaskr. We were outnumbered and Kodlak fell. They also made off with the pieces of Wuuthrad. By the Gods, I swear I’m going to kill them all!” 

Vilkas got close to Runa, looking at her angrily, not calming or softening at her tears. “You are coming with me now. We are going to avenge Kodlak and we are going to bring back the pieces of Wuuthrad. Those bastards will regret raising their weapons against Jorrvaskr!” Vilkas stormed off to get ready and yelling back, “meet me in 15 minutes outside.” 

Runa and Kaidan just looked at each other with worry etched all over their faces. Worried for her, worried about Vilka’s vengeance and worried about their ability to fight since they were so exhausted. 

Runa quickly ran after Vilkas. “Vilkas,” she said gently when she found him outside, putting her arm around his arm to try to calm him down. “We just got back from an errand for Kodlak. It was long and we have barely slept for three days. I...I know you are upset, as I am, but I’m not sure we have the strength to travel another two days and then go into battle with the Silver Hand. And, you...you know he wouldn’t like you to seek vengeance.” 

He turned to look at her, too angry to be calmed. “You weren’t here to protect him. You are coming and we will finally put an end to the Silver Hand. They do not know we are coming to their actual headquarters, so we will make camp for rest and food. I want you at your best. I will not accept failure. They will all die!” 

He then looked at Kaidan. “You are not a Companion. Feel free to stay behind.” With that, he stormed off to get his horse. 

Runa and Kaidan looked at each other again and followed Vilkas to the stables. Kaidan had no intention of staying behind. This was also going to be hard on their horses. Fortunately, Nord horses were very sturdy. They rode hard and fast until they reached the mountains and decided to make camp there. It was snowing heavily and it was very cold, so they made a larger fire than normal. Once they got settled, they all hovered close to the fire wrapped in fur cloaks and hoods and had a bite to eat. 

Vilkas sat there nibbling at his food, getting lost in the dancing fire, not talking. His face was still so full of rage. It was either be angry or cry. He was a warrior; warriors don’t weep. Tears were a weakness. Runa touched Kaidan’s arm to let him know she was going to sit next to Vilkas and tried to comfort him. Try again to get him to calm down. 

She sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Vilkas. He was truly a great man. It’s OK if you are upset. It’s not weak to shed a tear for someone you loved,” she said as if reading what had been on his mind. 

“Kodlak was like a father to me and Farkas,” he said, staring into the fire. Her warmth next to him was comforting and calming. “He was the only father figure me and my brother have ever really known. We would have died for him. He was a true warrior and stood for what every Companion should be. He wanted to be cured so he could be among his fellow warriors in Sovngarde. Now he will be forced into the Hunt with Hircine for eternity,” he choked back. She squeezed her arm tighter around his shoulders for comfort. But no amount of comfort and soothing was going to force a tear out of his rigidness and anger.

“Well, maybe we can no longer help him, unfortunately, but we can help ourselves.” 

“What do you mean,” he asked, finally looking at her. If he weren’t so angry, he could easily get lost in her blue eyes. She just had this calming aura about her. 

“He sent Kaidan and I to find a way to cure us all. Our mission was to bring back the heads of the Glenmoril Coven witches. Use their magic to cure us since it was their magic that cursed us. Then we were to re-forge Wuuthrad to gain entry into Ysgramor’s Tomb. That is where we were to perform the right of cleansing ourselves. Maybe we can do one in honor of Kodlak while we are there.” 

Vilkas nodded his head. He liked that idea. “That would be good if we could do that. Yes, I...I would like that. And, I think curing ourselves in honor of him as well is what we should do...something I _have to_ do. I have struggled with my beast for a long time and I’m eager to be rid of it. But we have to make sure we get the pieces of Wuuthrad back from the Silver Hand or else we won’t be doing any curing.”

Sensing he was calmer now, she gave him a little hug and a kiss on his forehead. She was about to stand and get back to Kaidan, but he hugged her back tightly, nestling his face into her neck inhaling her scent deeply. He almost then shed a tear, but he choked it all back. He didn’t want to let her go. She had such a calming effect on him and wanted her to stay. 

Kaidan watched all this with unease and slight jealousy, ready to step in if Vilkas tried anything. But Runa had it all under control. She gently removed his arms, stood up and headed back to Kaidan. 

Vilkas regretfully watched her walk off to go sit next to _him_, feeling his anger and jealousy rise again. He watched her put her head on his shoulder and him putting his arm around her to keep her warm, looking down at her with such tenderness. Kaidan then kissed her head. 

Vilkas was so jealous of him and it made him angry to feel this way, especially since he was already angry. Any calming effect Runa had on him vanished after watching the two together. 

He wanted Runa and could never have her. She was the only woman he knew who could truly hold her own against him. She was patient, kind, but strong. Something he admired greatly. She helped keep his beast at bay just then and it felt so good to have the beast calm, even for a short while. Not only was she capable, but she was beautiful. _ I wish Kaidan stayed behind. Though I certainly wouldn’t have. Not with a woman like her. _

He didn’t want to watch them anymore and went to his bedroll to try to get some sleep. But sleep was difficult with his rage and jealousy.


	37. Driftshade Refuge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa and Vilkas struggle to control their beasts. Vilkas can't take it anymore as he and Kaidan come to blows.

They reached the old fort by nightfall. They were to go in stealthily and take out as many Silver Hand as they could without being noticed. Because Kaidan and Vilkas were two-handed weapon warriors, Runa would take point with her bow taking out the enemy quietly. When they reached the old fort, there were only two guards: one by the door and one on the roof. Runa aimed her bow to kill the one on the roof first, then aimed and killed the one by the door--both headshots. 

As soon as they entered there was a long pathway with stone stairs that brought them deeper into the fort. It brought them to a large room and there were two Silver Hand sentries. Runa took each one out quickly with arrows to the head. They headed to the large door the sentries were guarding, but it was barred. 

_ Dammit, we will have to find another way around. _

Retracing her steps, she saw a small doorway which led to some rundown library of sorts. Fallen bookcases and destroyed books were everywhere. As an avid reader and lover of books, seeing all the destroyed books was almost painful to see. 

The room led to another similar room with a door and there was another member of the Silver Hand. Kaidan snuck up behind him and lobbed his head off with his sharp sword. 

Runa choked back the expected nausea and moved on through the door. _Why are there heads always rolling? _ But there was a shift deep inside of her. Some sort of wild rage when the smell of blood hit flooded her nostrils. _ Kill--feed! _She knew the feeling wasn’t normal and did what she could to push back the feeling.

The door brought them up through another set of stairs and another door that led to a loft-like room with more bookcases and ruined books. As soon as they walked in, the sentry saw them and headed straight for Runa, readying his sword. Vilkas stopped him in his tracks with his sword, growling, feeling the beast inside him as Runa’s was. But another sentry heard the noise and came after them. Kaidan quickly took care of him before he could shout out for reinforcements. 

Going further down into the room was another door and another flight of stairs going down. She wondered how deep this fort went. There was another room with a gate and two more sentries guarding it. The sentries heard them coming and quickly came at them. Kaidan and Vilkas ran ahead with their swords so Runa wouldn’t have to fight them off with just her bow. So far though, it had been relatively easy.

_ For a headquarters, it should have been more heavily defended by the Silver Hand. _

They eventually found themselves in some torture area. “These people are no better than what they are hunting. Disgusting,” Kaidan whispered. 

Runa took out the two guards in the cave. They quickly checked for survivors in the cages, but it was only death. Moving on through the cave brought them to a torture chamber. The place was covered in blood and gore; dead werewolves on the ground. Runa could feel herself getting angry and this animalistic urge overcame her. She pushed it way back, afraid her beast would take over. 

_ No, not in front of Kaidan. Not after we finally fixed everything. _

But it was hard for her to control. She could feel her beast nipping at her mind, fighting to get out. _ Kill--feed! _

They were finally making their way upwards and to a wooden door. When they opened the door quietly, they could see several Silver Hand sitting at a table in the loft. Runa’s aim was blocked by a wooden banister. _ Dammit! _

They were going to have to attack head-on this time. The men were going to rush them, but Runa stilled them by shaking her head.

Runa put away her bow and grabbed her two one-handed weapons. Sneaking around the wall to give them an element of surprise and hopefully success, she headed up to the steps. Kaidan and Vilkas followed behind figuring out what she had planned. 

The largest of the Silver Hand saw Runa coming and rushed at her. They clashed swords and axe, him fighting two of her weapons against his one. But he was a lot stronger than she. He quickly overpowered her and brought her down to one knee before she took her axe and cut him down at the knee. He screamed and fell to his knees. She stood up and took her two weapons and in a scissor-like motion lobbed his head off, getting spattered by his blood while screaming. Her eyes started to glow as she smiled when the blood hit her nostrils and spattered her armor.

After all the Silver Hand was dead, Kaidan looked at Runa to see if she was OK and he saw something in her eyes he had never seen before. Her eyes almost glowed and she had a smirk on her face. Eyes full of hunger and rage. 

_ She’s enjoying this, or her beast is. _

But then he could see her struggle internally, trying to push something back. He looked back at Vilkas and saw the same thing in his eyes, but he wasn’t trying to control it like Runa was.

She was covered in blood and nauseous and angry, trying to control the beast inside of her. Looking at the table she saw all the pieces of Wuuthrad and grabbed them quickly, then headed straight outside to get some fresh cold air before she got sick...or changed. 

Kaidan headed out to follow her and make sure she was OK before Vilkas drew his sword and blocked his path. Vilkas, with glowing and angry eyes; that wild look like he was already a beast, swung at Kaidan with his great-sword, growling. Kaidan with quick reflexes blocked his strong blow. 

“What the fuck do you think you are doing Vilkas?” he yelled at him. “Snap out of it!” 

Vilkas was wild looking and angry. His silvery eyes on fire as he circled Kaidan like he was prey, looking for a weak point. “We don’t need you anymore. _She_ doesn’t need you. You should have stayed behind. You are just in the way. Runa and I will have Wuuthrad repaired and we will cure ourselves. Can you honestly believe _you_ could take care of her or understand what she has become? Only I can offer her that kind of understanding,” Vilkas ranted as he circled Kaidan, sword at the ready.

Kaidan could clearly see he was struggling with something internal like Runa was. He knew Vilkas was an asshole, but he also knew that he was not himself right now. 

“Runa can take care of herself. But yes, I believe I am qualified to ensure she is safe and taken care of.” Kaidan had no problem with killing Vilkas right now, but he knew Runa would never forgive him for it and may even believe he did it in a fit of jealousy. He had to still his own anger and try to talk Vilkas down. But Kaidan knew if Vilkas changed, he wouldn’t stand a chance against the beast. His only recourse was to calm the man. 

Vilkas swung at him again several times with his powerful blows, but Kaidan was skilled enough to match Vilkas and blocked him easily. 

_ Stay calm, Kaidan. _ “Vilkas, stop this. Hasn’t there been enough fighting and death? Do you really think Runa would have you if I am dead? She will know you killed me because there is no one left in this place to do it for you.” 

Vilkas ignored his words and attacked again with repeated blows, growling loudly. Kaidan refused to fight back and only blocked him. 

“I’m sorry you feel strongly for Runa, but we love each other and you cannot have her.” 

_ No that will only make him angrier. Time for a different tactic._

“I know you care for her and it’s OK. I understand. She’s a good and kind and beautiful woman. I get it. But I won’t kill you for it and you need to get over it! I know you are angry right now about everything that is in part fueling this, but I promise you Runa will never forgive you.” He hoped he was reaching the enraged man. 

“Fight me, dammit!” Vilkas roared as he lunged at Kaidan again. 

Kaidan blocked him again, still refusing to attack, but he did see now Vilkas was struggling to resist the beast from coming out. 

“No, I will not! You are not yourself! Please, Vilkas...she won’t understand.” 

“URGH!” he yelled. Vilkas got tears in his eyes from grief and anger, but he finally sheathed his sword stormed out in fast run. 

Breathing hard, Kaidan shook his head and quickly followed Vilkas out of the old fort, not sure what Vilkas would do. He hoped he wasn’t so angry as to do something to Runa. But, when he reached outside, Vilkas was already gone. Runa was standing there with hands on her knees still trying to calm whatever was going on inside of her. He handed her some water from his skin and she drank it greedily. 

“So, uhm, where did Vilkas go?” he said, not sure if Vilkas said anything or not. 

“He said to meet him at Jorrvaskr, where we will have Wuuthrad reforged and then we can move on to Ysgramor’s Tomb. He seemed pretty intense and angrier than usual though. Anything I should know?” She asked breathing heavily. 

“No, nothing,” he lied. “You OK? You seem sick or something.” 

“Yeah, I...uhm, I was worried for a bit there though. I just had this crazy animal urge to change and go slaughter some Silver Hand.” 

He nodded, “I could see it in your eyes...and his. I’m glad you are OK and didn’t let it lose. You did amazing tonight, Love.” He grabbed her close to him and held her for a bit. “I guess we better get back.” He was not looking forward to dealing with Vilkas.


	38. Ysgramor's Tomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vilkas has a change of heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting, kudos! It means so much!!

Once Wuuthrad was reforged in the Skyforge, Kaidan and Runa met up with Vilkas, Farkas, and Aela at Ysgramor’s Tomb. It was in the snowy wastes beyond Winterhold. Runa had no idea why Ysgramor had to have such a tomb so far away in such a desolate place. She was not looking forward to more ruins, but at least it will be warmer than it was currently outside with the strong winds and blasting snow. 

As they all entered the tomb, Farkas handed Wuuthrad to Runa. “Will you do the honors of putting Wuuthrad back into Ysgramor’s hands?” 

“I would be honored. Thank you, Farkas,” she said and meaning it. She still wondered how the twin brothers could be so different. Farkas was such a sweet soul, if not a little bumbling. Whereas Vilkas was so intense but highly intelligent. 

She reached up to the statue of Ysgramor and put Wuuthrad into awaiting his hands. The return of the great axe opened up a secret passageway into the tomb itself. Runa was glad there were several of them to help keep all the creepy things away as they made their way into the area where they would do the curing. 

As they all headed in, Vilkas suddenly grabbed Kaidan’s arm without Runa noticing and pulled him aside. Kaidan groaned inwardly hoping there wasn’t going to be another problem. It wasn’t the time nor the place. “What is it, Vilkas,” he said, trying to not sound too exasperated. 

“I...I owe you an apology for how I behaved towards you. I was not myself. I was so angry and thought it would make me feel better somehow, and my beast was trying to force its way outside of me, so I was internally fighting that too. Plus, all the Silver Hand and their slaughtering of the werewolves brought it out of me, but it’s no excuse. I should have had more control and I didn’t. I...I am not worthy to enter Ysgramor’s Tomb, so I will stay behind. If the cure works, I will head in later and try to get the cure too.” 

Kaidan nodded his head but didn’t know what to say to the contrite man. He certainly wasn’t expecting an apology, but he was glad that Vilkas wasn’t a complete asshole. Kaidan just patted him on the back to let him know he was forgiven and headed into the tomb with the rest. 

Once he met up with the rest of the team, he heard the fighting and clashing of swords. He rushed, sword drawn, to find they were fighting several ghosts of all things. They looked like Champions themselves. The ghosts were killed, if one can even kill a ghost, by the time he reached them. They must have been some sort of guardians. 

After killing several of the Champion guardians, they came to the spidery webbed area. Readying themselves to fight frost spiders, Farkas spoke up, “Sorry, can’t do this. Everyone has a weakness and this creepy crawlies are mine.” Without another word, he headed back to his brother. 

Kaidan cursed under his breath, _no one likes fucking frost spiders, asshole._ They were down to three. Kaidan decided to take up his bow against the spiders this time. Runa used her flame spell to burn them while Aela used her sword. 

Deeper in and many Champion ghosts later, they finally reached the end of the tomb. There was a strange blue flame in the center and a ghost was standing by the strange fire. They readied their weapons expecting another battle, but as they got closer, they recognized Kodlak in spirit form. 

“Greetings Shield-Sister,” Kodlak said to Runa. 

“Is that you Kodlak?” she asked. 

“Of course. My fellow Harbingers and I have been warming ourselves here. Trying to evade Hircine.” 

“If you are here, can you still be cured?” 

“I can only hope. You still have the witches’ heads?” She lifted the bag of severed heads. “Excellent. Throw one of them into the fire. It will release their magic.” 

Runa opened the bag, everyone put their hands to their noses trying not to be sick by the odor. She pulled one out of the leather bag and held the rotting thing by the hair, choking back the expected bile. She quickly threw it into the strange blue flame. As soon as she did, it burst into flame and a giant ghost-like wolf crawled out of Kodlak, which started to attack everyone on site. Runa, Kaidan, and Aela attacked it and finally killed it. 

She went back to Kodlak and told him it was dead. “And, so slain the beast inside me. I thank you for this gift. The other Harbingers remain trapped by Hircine, though. Perhaps from Sovngarde, the heroes of old can join me in their rescue. It would be a battle of such triumph. And, perhaps someday you will join us in that battle. But for today, return to Jorrvaskr. Triumph in your victory and lead the Champions to further glory.” 

_Did he say lead?_ No, she pushed that aside for now. 

Kaidan approached her. “You still want to do this?” 

She nodded, “Yes, definitely.” 

Relieved, Kaidan removed one of the witches’ heads and threw it into the fire. She could feel her own beast pulling out of her not wanting to leave, but it was forced to. Once it was out, she, Kaidan and Aela killed that one too. Runa felt so much relief and felt so different. At first, she felt stronger and more aware, but she didn’t realize how much clearer she was thinking now and how much she was fighting the beast inside of her. She felt normal and whole again. 

Runa approached Aela and asked her if she wanted to be cured. Aela shook her head, “No, I am proud of what I am. But what I heard Kodlak say...he said YOU were to lead the Champions?” 

Runa nodded her head, “He did say that, but I cannot accept it. It’s not right. I have barely been with you all and there are those more worthy of the job. You, Vilkas and Farkas can fight over it. I like you all, but I am sorry, I am done with the Champions. It has proved to be too challenging for me physically and emotionally. Thank you for saving my life. I will leave these heads here if Vilkas and Farkas wish to be cured.” With that, she walked away and out of Ysgramor’s Tomb. 

As they were leaving, Runa told Vilkas and Farkas what happened. She grabbed Vilkas' arm. "You should know Kodlak was there. We were able to cure him even in death." 

She could see the surprise in his eyes, then relief, then water. He just nodded at her, "Thank you."

"You should go in and try to be cured. The heads are waiting for you." As she was walking away, Vilkas gently grabbed Runa’s arm. 

“I apologized to Kaidan, but I should also apologize to you. I’m sorry for how I behaved around you. I knew you were taken and I...I was an ass. You...you calmed my beast and it...well, it really doesn’t matter. I didn’t treat you with the respect you deserve. Thank you for all you have done for us. I will now head in to be cured as well.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” With that, she gave him a hug goodbye, then hugged Farkas. 

As she was leaving the tomb, Vilkas looked back at her with sadness wondering if he was ever going to see her again. But he moved on, happy to be finally rid of his beast, thanks to her.

When they left the tomb from a different door, Runa could suddenly feel a strong mental tug. She couldn’t tell what it was, but it felt familiar somehow. Following her senses, she traveled up the side of the mountain with Kaidan in tow. 

He didn’t know what was going on and wasn’t sure where she was going or what she was doing. Once they reached the top of a cliff, they saw a word wall. Runa went up to it and he watched the glowing lights swirl all around her as she absorbed the Dragon language. 

He’s not sure he will ever get used to that. It reminded him that she still had the destiny to fulfill and she may end up dead for it.


	39. Uncomplicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After harrowing weeks with the Companions, Runa and Kaidan take a long break. Kaidan has to leave again and Runa breaks her promise of Dragon hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and kudos! It means so much!!

After weeks of stress, worry, dealing with an emotionally unstable werewolf, killing witches, fighting the Silver Hand, traveling across half of Skyrim, curing Runa they were both exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. They vowed to take it easy for the next couple of weeks just spending some quality time together, getting to know the people of Whiterun and a couple of visits to see Alva. Runa also made sure she visited the temple a few times to see her family. 

They desperately needed this; some calmness in their lives. They knew there were more trying times ahead, but it could wait a bit longer. For now, the time was theirs and theirs alone. 

********** 

Sweating and breathing hard after they made love, he held Runa close. “You’re not going to like this, but I think it’s time for me to head out again for another two weeks.” 

“You have to go again? Why must you give me bad news after sex?” Runa complained. 

He smiled at her. “Softens the blow, no?"

"No, it kills the high." 

"I'm sorry, love. But, yes, I have things I still have to do. I am hoping this is the last time. A lot depends on the next couple of weeks.” 

“Are you leaving in the morning then?” 

“Aye, Love.” 

“I will miss you. This has been a wonderful two weeks alone with you. I love you, Kai.” 

“I love you too, Sweetheart.”

**********

The next morning, Runa walked him to the stables and kissed him goodbye. Then she watched him ride off until she couldn’t see him anymore. She wasn’t going to make the same mistake she did last time. She was going to stay home and just wait for him.

**********

He headed back out to Falkreath to finish working on the house. He hoped the workers were nearing completion and he wouldn’t have to leave her again. He also had a few more tasks to do around Falkreath in order for him to become Thane. 

He smiled to himself--he, an actual Thane, when he was no one before. He finally found his home in Runa, no matter where they were or how far apart. These two uncomplicated weeks together had done them a lot of good for their relationship. But he knew it couldn’t stay that way forever. They would eventually have to do her own job as Dragonborn and he would have to finish his journey finding more about his mother and his sword. He also hadn’t forgotten about the Thalmor, but he pushed that negative thought aside for now. 

**********

Runa hadn’t seen any of the Companions since they had been back and she was just fine with that. But she did wonder how they were doing and if they were settling things regarding their leadership. It would be a hard decision because between the three, Aela being rash and refusing to change to Vilkas who was a hot head and temperamental to Farkas who was very kind, but really didn’t say much or stand out in any way. All she knew for certain was that she wasn’t the one to do it. Maybe Kodlak knew that and it’s why he chose her. But what’s done is done. She had her own journey to do, which was complicated enough, and it wasn’t with the Companions. 

********** 

Five days later while she was reading one of her new books, there was a knock on her door. She went to open to see it was a courier delivering a letter to her. Opening the letter, she saw it was from Jarl Balgruuf to come see her at her earliest convenience. 

She got dressed in one of her nicer dresses and wrapped herself in furs because it had been very cold and snowing out. She reached Dragonsreach and had to wait a few minutes for the Jarl to make an appearance. Warming herself by the fire, he entered the throne room, but he didn’t sit on his throne and instead came down to greet Runa and kiss her hand. 

“My dear girl, it is lovely to see you again.” 

“Thank you, my Jarl,” she smiled brightly and bowed. 

“I’m glad you came. I am afraid we are in need of your services once more. There have been signs of a dragon in the Mountains East in the Pale. This request came directly from the Jarl of Dawnstar. He knew you, the Dragonborn was here in Whiterun and has requested you specifically to help kill this dragon that has been tormenting his lands in the East. Can you do this for us?” 

“I...I, well, I made a promise to Sir Kaidan I wouldn’t hunt any dragons without him and he is traveling for another week, so I am afraid I wouldn’t be able to kill any dragons on my own.” 

Biting her lip, knowing she would regret this, “Unless of course, you have someone who can assist me in this matter. Someone specifically well-versed in archery.” 

“I don’t have anyone here I can spare, but I do know there is a young Dunmer woman who works for hire. She apparently is well familiar with the bow. If you would like to hire her, I can cover your expenses.” 

“No need, my lord. I can cover that. I just needed to make sure I wouldn’t do this alone. I may be Dragonborn and I may have helped kill a dragon, but I haven’t faced a dragon on my own before. It’s still dangerous, even for me, to kill one without help.” 

The Jarl uncharacteristically gave her a hug, “Thank you, dear girl.” 

Runa found, Janessa, the lovely and fit Dunmer woman at the Bannered Mare. “I would like to hire you if you are available. It’s a pretty big job involving killing a dragon in the Pale just NorthEast of here. What would something like that cost?” 

“It will cost you 500 Septims.” 

“Done.” 

_ Kaidan is going to kill me. But at least I will have some help and will not be going it alone. _

It took a day and a half to get to their destination at the base of the mountain. They had to ditch their horses nearby and hike the rest of the way up. The day was very cold and snowy, and the wind was going to make hitting the dragon with arrows difficult. As they neared the top, they could see the dragon lying on top of some ruins sleeping. They reached as close as they could, sneaking before the dragon was alerted to their presence. 

Once it saw them, it took to the air roaring as it did so. Dammit, she was hoping to kill it while it slept. It started to dive bomb them with fire as they quickly rolled away and shot arrows after it, having to compensate for the wind. 

The speed of the dragon and the wind was making it difficult to shoot it. In retrospect, she should have found herself a mage instead. Runa lost more arrows than actually hit the dragon and when it finally landed, she was out of them. 

She grabbed her axe and readied her hand with her frostbite spell since this was a fire-breathing dragon. She had to quickly dodge and dance away from its tail and mouth to keep from being bitten. While hitting it with her axe and freezing it for periods of time. Janessa still had some arrows and was firing from a distance. That was a difficult kill, but it was finally dead. 

After absorbing the dragon’s soul, she walked around looking for arrows she lost. That was when she felt the other pull she was familiar with after Ysgramor’s Tomb. There was a word wall nearby. 

She hiked higher up the mountain where the dragon had been sleeping and found it. As she approached the wall, suddenly a coffin burst open and some strange draugr-like creature with a mask started floating and flying around shooting spells at them. 

_ What in Oblivion is that?!! _

Janessa was the one now out of arrows, so she used her sword while Runa used the remaining arrows she gathered. It was difficult as this creature was very fast and its spells were very strong sending large blasts of fire at them. 

Once she ran out of arrows, she charged at it with her axe and sword. Runa got hit with fire on her left arm before she cut it down with her axe and it finally went down. 

_ Oh, Kaidan is really going to be furious me now._

She downed some health potions while Janessa bandaged her arm. She then moved back to the word wall to absorb the language. Then she also grabbed the strange mask to find out more about it. Her father would have been fascinated by something like this, pushing back the pain from thinking about her father. 

Janessa was a true professional and didn’t ask questions once about Runa’s soul absorbing, language absorbing powers. Though Runa did pay her extra for the strange creature in the mask. 

Kaidan was going to be back in several days and she was going to have to explain the large burn mark on her arm. After last time with the werewolf situation, he was now going to come home finding out she fought a dragon AND some strange mage-like creature. He was NOT going to be happy. Well, at least she wasn’t dead. 

When they got back to Whiterun, Runa bade Janessa farewell and that she would likely hire her again sometime. When she got home, she fell into bed exhausted. 

The next couple of days though were still exhausting despite all her rest from her travels. She found herself so very tired all day and she would sleep long hours only to end up taking a couple of naps as well. This wasn’t normal, she thought. She must be coming down with something. She hoped not because she had plans for him when he got home! 

A couple of days later after that, she knew she was sick with something for certain because she was throwing up a lot. Dammit, I can’t be sick when he gets back! Frustrated she headed over to the healer.


	40. The Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan comes home to a big surprise. He doesn't take it too well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and kudos! It means so much!!

Kaidan had been gone for two long weeks and she was so happy to finally have him back. She was hoping he got to settle all his affairs and that he wouldn’t have to leave again. 

As soon as he was cleaned up from his long ride home, she dragged him to bed not giving him a chance to rest. _ Rest can come later. _

They made tender love. _ Oh, how I missed her. _

He couldn’t wait to show her the new house. It was finally done and he wouldn’t have to leave her again. He would bring her to see it soon when the decorating was done. The Jarl of Falkreath also made him a Thane, while not anything really special, it was still a title that turned him from a nobody to a noble. 

He was so exhausted and this woman just wore him out further, so he quickly fell asleep. 

Runa laid with him for a while when her stomach started to churn again and she suddenly had to throw up. She had to rush, but she didn’t want to wake up Kaidan, so she had to be quiet as well. Trying to choke it back, she rushed to the next room across the hall and found a pot to throw up in. 

She was already tired of the vomiting and wondered when it would ever end. She could barely eat anything and keep it down except for, strangely sweet rolls. After washing out the pot she threw up in, she went back to lie down with him again. She wanted to nap with him, but she couldn’t sleep despite feeling so exhausted. All the nausea was keeping her awake. So, she snuggled next to him listening to him breathe. 

When he awoke an hour later, he looked at Runa, smiled and kissed her. He could spend all day in bed with her if they never had anything to do, which they currently did not. So, he made no move to get up and just held her. His return was so much better than the last time. No worries, no vampires, no werewolves, no Vilkas...just them. 

“Kai?” 

“Hmmm...?” he purred into her neck, giving her light kisses. 

“Uhm...have...have you ever thought, I don’t know...thought about, uhm...having kids one day?” 

That gave him pause as he laid on his back. “No, I don’t think I have ever been in a situation to think of such things really, but I don’t really think that it’s something for me.” 

She placed her head on his chest. “Why not?” she asked with her brow suddenly furrowed. 

“Well, with my upbringing and instability, I don’t think I’m exactly father material.” 

She looked up at him then. “Why would you think that? You are loving, you are kind, you are loyal and you are protective.” 

“You think so? Maybe, but I don’t know. It’s kind of a scary thought to me. What is bringing all this on suddenly?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing; just wondering is all...just...just talking future stuff,” she said evasively and with that, she got up. “Are you hungry? I will make us a snack,” she said too quickly and headed downstairs. 

Kaidan laid back and wondered why all the questions about kids. They aren’t even married. He would have thought after a while, they could get married, if they wanted to. He still had his doubts that is something he wants to do due to his own insecure reasons, though he also knows he loves Runa beyond all measure and will never leave her. So, why not marry her eventually? 

But, kids? No. Then again, since she was asking, this may be important to her, so how could he deny her a family if that was what she really wanted? They would have to discuss this tough decision later to make sure it was right for both of them. Kids were a very scary thought to him. 

After a minute Kaidan opened his eyes wide and then quickly sat up in bed. _ Oh, fuck! She’s pregnant! That has GOT to be it. _

He heard her throwing up earlier and just thought she might be coming down with something. But that and with her line of questioning about kids...Kaidan started to panic. _ No, no, no. I can’t be a father! _ He was not good enough to be a father. It wasn’t that he didn’t like kids; he did. It was his fear of being a shit father. His own upbringing wasn’t a good lesson on how to raise kids, that along with his troubled past. 

_ Shit! Shit! Shit! _ This must have happened when he came in her after that whole werewolf issue. He _ KNEW _what he did was wrong. _ This is what happens when you lose your control, Kaidan._

He moaned with a pillow over his face, so Runa wouldn’t hear him. He reluctantly got up to head downstairs. He had better go talk to her about this. When he reached downstairs, he could see her sitting down at the table cutting up some cheese with her back to him. 

“Runa? Is...is there something you need to tell me, love?” he asked, palms sweating and slightly shaking. 

She stopped cutting and put down her knife, but she didn’t respond. Instead, she quickly got up and threw up again in a pot nearby. He rushed to her side to help her somehow, but not knowing what to do. She brushed him off to tell him that she was fine. When she was done, she had tears in her eyes from throwing up. 

“I haven’t been able to keep any food down for several days now and I’m tired all the damned time. Even cutting the cheese and bread make me sick. I thought at first, I had a stomach virus, so I went to the healer who informed me I was definitely _ not _ sick and congratulated me; I was pregnant.” 

He sat down hard on the chair because his legs were suddenly wobbly. His heart started beating too fast and he started to sweat, while his stomach was doing flip-flops. 

“I...I...I,” was all he could manage to say. To hear her say it out loud brought it into a whole new reality. 

She put up her hand, slightly irritated and slightly upset. “I know. This is hard on you...obviously. You just made it perfectly clear you don’t want kids. But we are having one nonetheless, whether we want it or not.” 

She instinctively touched her stomach with her hand and tears pooled out of her eyes. “I was so happy at first. I have always wanted children and now I get to have a family again; still missing my father and brothers so very much. I know we aren’t married and this was an accident, but it is what it is. But seeing how frightened you are right now is not...well, now I’m full of doubt and fear.” 

He had to stop panicking and get himself under control; it was getting them nowhere and making her feel worse. He breathed deeply and tried to calm himself. 

“I’m so sorry, Love. This is...well, it’s all a shock. As I said, I never thought about kids and I don’t think I would be a good father though I do like them.” After a beat, he finally said, “Look, Love, I’m not going to leave your side for a second. I’m not going to abandon our child. I would never do that to you. I will do the best that I can, OK?” 

She just looked up at him nodded and the tears were flooding, “Thank you, Kai. I...I didn’t want to go this alone. I didn’t think you would leave me for this but seeing how scared you were, doubts came pouring out of me...I mean, I get it. I’m scared too. I don’t know what it will be like to be a mother as I never had a mother of my own either, like you, to lead as an example. But I always wanted children and thought we could make the best of it. I already love what is growing inside me, Kai, though the baby refuses to let me stop throwing up,” she said to add a bit of levity. “It’s OURS. Yours and mine; how could I not love that?” 

He went to her, got down on his knees and kissed her stomach. Holding her with his head on her lap, she combed his hair long hair that had grown out with her fingers. He was fucking terrified. To him, this was scarier than a tomb full of 100 Draugr. He would just have to suck it up and do the best that he could with their situation. 

He also knew something else he needed to do. He needed to marry her; to give this child a proper family. If you told him three months ago that he would be in love, having a baby and soon to be married, he would have laughed in your face; or put an arrow in your eye, depending on his mood. Now he will have all three and he couldn’t be happier, yet more terrified at the same time. 

He was going to have to do this right and not mess it up. Though there was still the matter of the wound on her arm they needed to address, but he’s had enough scary news to deal with in one day.


	41. The Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan finally reveals what he had been working on all this time whenever he left Runa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple of chapters of fluff and sexual content
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and kudos!

“Come on, Love. Let’s get packed. I want to take you somewhere and it’s going to take a couple of days to get there,” Kaidan said one morning. 

He had received a letter a couple of days ago that his house was finished and he was now ready to show Runa the house.

Runa was excited to finally leave the house after weeks of throwing up. She was finally feeling better and eager to do something else; anything else. The prospect of seeing something else other than Whiterun thrilled her.

“Where are you taking me?” 

“It’s a surprise, Love.” 

“Kai! Tell me!” 

He laughed at her demands and held her, looking down. “No, Love; you are just going to have to be patient and wait.” 

They loaded their horses and headed South West for their two-day trip. By late afternoon, it started to downpour, so they had to make camp to wait it out. When it didn’t stop, they just camped for the rest of the evening. 

They found a nice spot under some thick trees where the ground was relatively dry. It took a while to find some dry wood and Runa lit the fire with her spell as it was stronger than flint that ensured they would have a fire to keep warm, though it was fairly dry under the trees. 

Settling under their tent, wrapped in furs, they had some early dinner and mead. Runa had been eating a lot lately since she began feeling better. Actually, she was perpetually hungry. Kaidan was glad to see her eating again and looking healthier. He was beginning to worry about all her throwing up, though the healer claimed this was very normal. And, Runa was happy to see Kaidan getting over his fears, at least outwardly. She figured he was probably still frightened on the inside. 

Runa always loved storms and the sound of thunder. They were strangely soothing to her and found herself suddenly wanting Kaidan; to make love to him in their little tent. He was somewhere else, lost in thought, looking at the fire when she leaned into him and started to lightly kiss his neck.

When he looked over at her, she started to kiss his lips. They turned to face each other and their kissing became more passionate. Runa was feeling so at ease, she didn’t want to rush things. After removing their clothes, they laid down and Kaidan covered them with furs and kissed her swelling breasts, swirling his tongue around her nipples but being gentle as they were starting to hurt her. He could see her eyes were closed enjoying the feeling as her hands played with his long hair. 

He gently kissed her still flat stomach. Working his way down, he slowly spread her legs and inserted a finger inside of her. He could feel her wetness as she started moving her hips against his finger, running his tongue over her bud. Holding his head and grabbing his hair, she started breathing faster; opening her legs wider. 

She loved when Kaidan was down there doing everything he could to pleasure her. He had always been a thoughtful and attentive lover. He started to suck a little harder, running his tongue faster, swirling his tongue while he moved his finger inside. It didn’t take long before she came and moaned loudly. He loved it when she pulsed like that in his mouth, making him moan at her pleasure. 

Instead of switching places, she pulled him up so he was hovering over her so he could lean himself over her mouth for her to suck on him as he thrust gently back and forth as she held him firmly in her hand. He was going to explode too quickly and made her stop. 

“Oh, that felt so good...too good. Turn around,” he ordered. 

As she rolled over, he lifted her hips in the air as her upper body stayed on the bedroll. He inserted himself in her and thrust deeply into her. He moved pushed himself into her harder and deeper than usual. She moaned loudly as he hit that soft spot within her. As he started to move faster and faster, he smacked her ass several times while she groaned. Her loud moaning turned him on as he moved faster and faster until he finally exploded in her, not worrying about accidents since she was already pregnant. He loved being able to do that inside of her. 

When they were done, he laid down beside her and kissed her deeply, inserting his tongue, sucking on hers.

“The Gods, I love you,” he suddenly said while giving her delicate kisses along her face and chin her face. 

She smiled and snuggled into him. “I love you too.” 

**********

In the warm, early morning, Runa stood outside the tent naked and stretched a deep stretch, feeling at her best. He suddenly grabbed her and pulled her down over his lap with her ass in the air and playfully spanked her as she squealed. 

“Kai,” she laughed trying to push off of him. “Stop,” she tried to say firmly, but still was giggling. He finally let her go, laughing as they both got dressed and packed up. 

They traveled a bit more quickly to make up for lost time from the storm and managed to reach their destination by late afternoon. When they arrived at the house, Runa looked confused. 

“What is this place? Are we visiting someone? Well...well...well, Kai, you actually have a friend after all,” she teased. 

“No, still no friends, Love,” he smiled. “But this isn’t someone else’s home. This is ours.” He stood there waiting for her reaction. 

“Ours? Kai is this what you have been working on all this time?!” she said in wonder with eyes wide as everything he was doing became clear. 

“It is.” He beamed at her excitement, unable to hide his pride. 

“Oh, Kai, you are not only an artist but very handy as well!” She ran to look around the house. It was three times the size of Breezehome. It had three extending wings on the sides of the house, a large garden one side and an empty animal pen on the other. It also had a stable for their horses. 

She ran to the left side of the house to find steps leading up to a very large balcony and she could look out to the lake and mountains, completely in awe of the view. 

“Oh, what a beautiful view!!”

Kaidan just watched her excitement as she ran all over the place looking at everything. He had a large smile on his face, happy to see that she was pleased. 

“I call it Lakeview Manor. Come on then, let’s go inside, Love.” 

He opened the door for her as she walked inside as she looked around in awe. The whole house was furnished and fully decorated. As soon as they entered there was an entryway that had storage for their weapons, decorations, and bookshelves. 

Continuing inside, she saw a large room with comfortable chairs and a little table in front of a large fireplace that was already lit to warm up the place. Beautiful rugs were spread out everywhere. Past that was a table and several chairs for their meals and behind there was a huge kitchen and she could smell food cooking; her stomach started to rumble. 

“Come on this way, Love.” 

Runa followed him to the left to see a grand bedroom with its own fireplace, bookcases and the room had its own bathing area and private privy and bath. “Oh, by the Gods Kai, this is so beautiful!” she exclaimed as she went to lie down on the large bed. 

“No, no...up, up, Love. We aren’t done,” he said as he lifted her off the bed. 

There were two spare bedrooms on the other side of the house for guests, she presumed. One was so beautifully decorated and feminine... _ how in the world? _

“This is for Alva, Love. When she comes to visit.” 

Runa put her hands to her mouth and started to get tears in her eyes when he said that. They went upstairs and there was a large loft area that served as an office and library filled with books, and there were two more bedrooms. 

“Oh, Kai, this...this is amazing! I know you said you were leaving for us, but I had no idea what that even meant. How did you manage all this? It must have cost you so much.” 

“I was tired of feeling sorry for myself and had nothing to offer you. I heard the Jarl of Falkreath was hiring for some very pricey bounties and I jumped right on it. He pays very well and because of all the work I did and helping his people, he actually made me Thane of Falkreath...I’m finally someone, Runa.” 

She touched his face, “You have always been someone, my love. You didn’t need to prove anything to me, you know that right?” 

He nodded, “I know. I wanted to do something for you...for us, but it was also for myself. 

Look here, we can turn the upstairs room there for our child. Had I known we were having one at the time, I would have prepared for that too.” 

She went up to him and tightly hugged him. “Thank you, Kai, for this. This is the best gift anyone has ever done for me. I love it so much and you have done such a wonderful job. I am so happy and so happy for you and your success. You deserve it so much,” she said, hugging him tightly. 

They headed back downstairs to meet Rayya, his Steward, and Housecarl who was assigned to him by the Jarl. She was the one who had been cooking apparently and who readied their home. 

Rayya was a beautiful and large Redguard woman with gorgeous dark skin. Runa hugged the woman, who was taken aback at first but accepted it finally. 

“It’s my pleasure to know you, Rayya. I look forward to getting to know you.” 

“Indeed, ma’am. It will be my pleasure.” 

“Just call me, Runa.” 


	42. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was inevitable, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple of chapters of fluff and sexual content
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and kudos!

She had to use her stealth skills for this. No one could hear her coming. As she approached him, she looked up to make sure he couldn’t hear her or see her. This was vital to her success. He was standing by the fire, warming his hands. When she was finally close enough, she quickly attacked.

She had recently discovered how ticklish Kaidan was and tickled him under the arms. He instantly jumped out of his skin and nearly collapsed. 

“Oh, you are going to get it now, lass...” he shouted after her as she ran laughing. 

They ran through the house with him trying to catch her almost crashing into poor Rayya, who laughed at both of them. Runa was very fast and agile while she dodged behind furniture just out of his reach. They were upstairs now in the study when she slipped around the desk and ran back downstairs towards their room, but not before he finally caught her and easily lifted her over his shoulder. 

She kicked at him laughing. “OK, Kai, you can put me down now...put me down!” 

“Oh, I’m going to put you down alright.” 

“What? No...no...wait...what are you going to do? I’m sorry...I’m sorry! You win!!!” She laughed and kicked trying to get away, but he was just too strong. She had no leverage to get away being slung over his shoulder like a flour sack.

He closed the bedroom doors and sat down on the bed, bringing her down deftly over his lap. Holding her arms back behind her with one hand and lifting up her skirts with the other. 

“Oh, no...no, Kai, please! I’m so sorry!” She was still laughing but getting a little worried at the same time. 

“Yes. Bad lasses need to be spanked.” 

She started to really squirm then, but she couldn’t get loose. 

He exposed her bare ass and he started to smack her bottom several times with his hand. Not too hard, but hard enough to make it a little red. 

“Ow, ow...Kai...OK, OK...,” she laughed kicking her legs around and trying to break her hands free. 

When her ass was nice and red, he gave her one more very firm spank and slipped a finger into her to feel how wet she was. He found she suddenly went still. _ Well, well. She likes that._ He thought she might. _ I like it too_. He had to adjust erection with her on top of him.

“Did you like that, Love,” he whispered while inserting his fingers in and out of her. She was quiet and just nodded, kind of embarrassed by it all and blushed deeply, but it turned her on nonetheless. 

He stood them up and leaned her over the bed, pushing her face down. Lifting up her fallen skirts again and draping them over her, he rubbed her red ass. He pulled himself out of his pants and massaged it to ready himself and entered her warm wetness. The only thing he could see of her was her ass and him entering in and out. She was otherwise buried in cloth. He was so turned on at that moment, it didn’t take him long to explode in her. 

She started to stand up, but he pushed her back down. He wasn’t done with her.

“We are not finished, Love.”

Getting on his knees, he started to lick her up and down as he ran his tongue up and down in her making her moan. It was different tasting himself in her. 

While they both really enjoyed that, it was hard to reach her sensitive spot, so he turned her around back onto the bed spreading her legs and nibbled, licked and sucked on it until she came with a loud moan and kept on until she forced him to stop. 

They laid back on the bed together, breathing hard. “I’m going to have tickle you more often,” was all she could get out. 

_ I look forward to it. _

********** 

Before the evening arrived, he asked Runa to follow him. He held her hand as they walked outside and up the steps on the side of the house that had the large rooftop balcony. It was a beautiful and warm evening with a soft breeze coming off the lake. As they headed up the steps, she saw it was all lit up with candles and the flower pots and boxes were filled with beautiful flowers and plants. 

_ Kai must have asked Rayya to do this while we were distracted with each other. _

They looked out over the lake and sunset. The sky was a red, orange and purple color almost looking like it was on fire. It was so beautiful. He pulled her towards him and kissed the top of her head. 

“All the flowers and candles are so romantic. This is so beautiful, Kai. You couldn’t have picked a prettier spot for a home. I love it here.” 

“And, I love you,” he said. 

He gently grabbed her chin and turned her to face him as he looked down at her. She was expecting him to kiss her, but instead, he wanted to tell her something. He suddenly looked very anxious and uncertain. 

She put her hand to his face. “Hey, what’s going on? Are you OK.?” 

He nodded and cleared his throat. “I just have something to tell you.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Runa, you have carved your way into my heart and I don’t see how you will ever be moved from there.” It looked like he had more to say, so she waited. She knew when he was feeling deeply, he struggled with words. 

“I...I want to know you are mine and...and the thought of someone or something trying to steal you away from me...” He couldn’t finish. The thought of losing her was terrifying to him. 

Looking up at him she said, “I’m yours and you are mine.” 

“You are blood of my blood, and bone of my bone.” He kissed her lightly. 

But he had more to say. “For a while now I have been looking at life differently. It’s not that dragons are rising from the grave or the war splitting the country in two; though it might have been before.” He paused for a bit trying to form the words in his head, “It’s me who is not the same since I met you. Knowing you has changed me.” 

“You don’t seem so different to me, Kai.” 

“Love, you have only known the best of me. I...I have not always been a good person. But I know now what I have been looking for all along; it was you.” She started to get teary-eyed with his loving confession, but let him finish what he was trying to tell her. 

“You are my home. I would like to be your refuge too. I promise you; I will _ always _ fight for us.” He cleared his throat again and tried not to close his eyes. 

“Will you marry me?” 

She started weeping and nodded her head quickly, not expecting a proposal. She then hugged him tightly. 

“Is that a yes, then?” 

“Yes, Kai, I will. I love you so very much.” 

With that, they kissed each other deeply. When they pulled away, he said, “I know we have only known each other for several months and you might be thinking I did this for the baby, and in part I did. But I knew I would marry you anyway. I knew I would never leave your side. I also wanted to make sure we are a family.” 

_ Family. _ She had a family again.


	43. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's wedding time and Kaidan and Runa tie the knot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wedding scene was wonderful with the Kaidan mod :)
> 
> Thank you so much for comments! They mean so very much!!

They decided to get married quickly and privately. To have a beautiful and intimate wedding with only Alva and Rayya present. Kaidan let Runa pick the location and she chose the meadow below their home by the lake. This time of year, the flowers were in bloom and the scenery was just beautiful and perfect. Once they were ready, they called up a Priestess of Mara to do the wedding ceremony. 

Runa sent a carriage for Alva and she arrived a couple of days later. Stepping off of the carriage, she already had her handkerchief out and dabbing her eyes as Runa rushed to give her a big hug. 

“Oh, my dear, dear girl. I am so happy for you and Kaidan! When I received your letter, I couldn’t get here fast enough. To think you two getting married and a baby on the way to top it all off; it just swells my heart!” 

“I’ve missed you so much, Alva! Thank you for coming.” 

Kaidan went up to Alva, lifted her up and gave her a big hug. Alva laughed in delight at his strength. She hadn’t been lifted up since she was a young girl. 

“It’s good to see you, Alva. Please, this way. I will show you your room and we can sit down for dinner.” 

After they sat down for dinner, Alva just beamed. “Oh, Kaidan and Runa, this is a lovely house. I especially love my room and for you, Kaidan, to think of old Alva when you designed it. You are such a sweet boy,” she said as Kaidan bowed to her.

“Of course, we will all be family soon,” he said, to which she beamed even brighter, feeling so happy that Runa found someone to love who was good to her.

They were to be wed the following day, so they decided to get some rest early. He was holding Runa in bed feeling like he was going to burst. “Are you nervous?” she asked. His arm draped around her shoulder with her head was resting on his. 

“Aye, maybe a little bit. It’s all a bit surreal. I never thought I’d be the kind to get married. That and Fate hasn’t always been good to me. So, I keep expecting something to swoop down and snatch you out of my arms,” he said, holding her tighter as if she would be taken away that very moment. “How about you? Nervous?” 

“Not at all,” she said smiling, so certain of him. 

“Aye, that’s my unshakable dragon,” he smiled and kissed the top of her head

The next afternoon, after everything was ready and the Priestess of Mara arrived to perform the ceremony, Kaidan waited outside for Runa so he could walk with her to the lake when she was ready. Before Runa met up with him, Alva came up to Runa and placed a beautiful crown of flowers on her head she had made that morning. 

Alva dabbed away tears again with her trusty handkerchief. “Oh, Runa, I am so happy for you. You are so beautiful. And, I can’t wait to see little ones running around.” Hugging each other, they headed out to meet Kaidan. 

Kaidan’s stomach just dropped to the ground and he swallowed hard when he saw her. She had her black hair down in long waves across her shoulders and back with a beautiful crown of blue flowers that brought out her eyes. Her white dress was a very fitted, but flowing light fabric below the waist and in the long sleeves. And, beautifully trimmed in silver thread. In the center of it all was the talisman he made her. She was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

_ What have I ever done in my life to deserve such a woman? _

“Kai, you look so handsome in your white tunic,” she said, looking up at him. 

They walked hand in hand down to the lake where the Priestess was waiting for them. When they arrived, they faced each other as they held hands. Runa was already getting teary-eyed and he could hear Alva trying not to sob in the background. Even he had to swallow it back. 

“Let us begin,” announced the Priestess. “We stand here today under the gaze of Lady Mara, bearer of love whose light shines upon all mortals, to join two lives in eternal.” 

“To love is to understand the true nature of the Divines, and so discover the divinity in one another.” 

“We ask Lady Mara to bless their union as they journey together in this life and in the next, in prosperity and poverty, and in joy and hardship.” 

She looked at Kaidan, “Do you agree to be bound to this woman in love, to protect, support and cherish her, now and forever?” 

“I do. Now and forever,” he said. 

She looked at Runa, “Do you agree to be bound to this man in love, to protect, support and cherish him, now and forever?” 

“I do. Now and forever,” she said. 

“Under the authority of Mara, Divine of Love, I declare this couple to be wed. I present both of you with these blessed rings; may they protect both of you in your new life together.” 

They both kissed each other deeply. When he pulled away, he looked down at her, wide-eyed. “I’m a married man! I never thought this happiness could be mine.” 

“And, how do you like it?” she asked smiling up at him. 

He lightly touched her face where her scars were. “I have always been bound to you. First by honor, then friendship, then love...and now in the eyes of the Gods. It feels right.” 

“It does. I love you, Kai.” 

“I love you too.” 

That evening after it got dark, he started a fire and laid out blankets in the field of flowers by the lake so they could make love under the stars. He first gently removed her crown of flowers, turning her around, he unlaced her dress and slipped it off of her and gently planted kisses on her shoulders. Moving her hair away from her neck, he kissed that too. He turned her to face him as she started to untie his tunic and pull it over his head. She lightly touched his chest and scars, giving him goosebumps. Making love for them lately had been very energetic, but tonight it was gentle and soft. 

“I have never been happier. Everything is perfect,” he said and kissed her deeply. 


	44. The Embassy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runa sneaks into the Thalmor Embassy and Kaidan, still struggling with his torture tries to prevent her from going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and comments! They mean so much!!

“Are you kidding me? What a waste of time! We’ll be stinking of draugr for days and no horn to show for it!” He was irritated after spending all that time in the ruins looking for the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller and for what? So someone could take it? 

_ Oh, but the thief kindly left a note_. 

“I guess our next lead is this person who took it. They want us to come to them and it seems we have no choice.” Runa was irritated too after reading the note. It was a complete waste of precious time. “Let’s see what they want.”

After a few days, they reached Riverwood and Runa recognized the woman from all the times they stayed at the Sleeping Giant Inn, having no idea she was anything more than a barkeep. The woman blonde woman was older but still youthful.

But Delphine was an arrogant piece of work, at least that was how Kaidan felt. She had taken the horn to find the Dragonborn and then when the Dragonborn showed up, she didn’t bother to believe it. Then Delphine sent Runa off to go hunt a dragon with her just to prove she was the Dragonborn. It left Runa irritated and Kaidan was about to throttle her. 

********** 

After the long battle against the dragon, Delphine finally believed Runa and her being the Dragonborn. “Oh, you really are Dragonborn,” Delphine said in shock after she watched Runa absorb the dragon soul. 

Kaidan was already tired of this woman. She was condescending, she didn’t believe anything Runa said and sent her all over the place just to prove herself. “Yes, as she’s been saying all along, and you sent a pregnant woman chasing after you and dragons just so she could prove herself!” Kaidan complained. 

Ignoring Kaidan, she explained that the Thalmor were involved with the dragons rising and that Runa was needed to infiltrate the Thalmor Embassy to retrieve evidence. 

“Delphine, this isn’t...” Runa said before Kaidan interrupted her. 

“Are you insane!! You are going to send her into enemy territory, pregnant?! They tortured me and they killed her family, about to torture her too. We are both wanted enemies of the Thalmor and you want to send her there?! She will be killed?! ABSOLUTELY NOT! You have no idea what these people are capable of.” 

Delphine was unfazed by his anger. Looking at Runa, she said, “Look, it’s the only way to know for sure what is going on. We have to get answers. We need to know why dragons are rising from the grave and you are the only one who can get by them. I need you.” 

Kaidan was beside himself. But Runa decided to go despite his very strong objections. 

As Runa was walking away, he grabbed Delphine by the arm and quietly growled at her, “If anything happens to her, you will pay painfully. Do you understand?” 

Delphine yanked her arm back with death in her eyes and walked away without responding. Kaidan just shook his head at her lack of caring or interest in the well-being of the Dragonborn. 

********** 

“I don’t like you going in there. They will torture you and kill you if you are caught!” he said pacing back and forth in their bedroom. Kaidan was beside himself...he had been like this since Delphine sent them to go hunt the dragon down. She knew he would be upset, but he was out of his mind with fright and she was unable to calm him down. 

_ What in Oblivion is going on with him? _

“I have to do this, Kai. I can get in and get out. Please trust me to handle this and come home safely. This is the only way to find out what is going on with the dragons. Please...” 

“NO! They are going to kill you!” 

“They will have to catch me first.” 

She grabbed him to stop pacing. Grabbing his face to make him look at her and calm him down. “Kai, look at me! Will you calm down for a second and tell me what is going on? This is more than just worry. You are in a full panic. I know you are intense, love, but this is beyond intense. Please talk to me.” 

He finally sat down on their bed with his head in his hands. “After what they did to me, all I see are visions of them doing that to you. It’s killing me inside. You know I still get nightmares about my torture and when I wake up I just want to go kill them all! If...if something happens to you, I...I don’t know what I will do. Visions of them torturing you have been flooding my mind.” 

Runa was wondering if that was what was bothering him. She knew his torture scarred him more than just physically, but he never wanted to talk about it before. She understood his fright very well, but they were going to have to push through this. The dragons rising was too important to ignore. 

She kneeled down to look up at him. “Kai, I have to do this. You know this. We can’t pretend the dragons aren’t rising and we have to figure out why. We need the answers and if the Thalmor know, then we _need_ that information. You know as well as I do that after our capture, they are involved somehow with the dragons. If you go in there with me, it will create too much attention; attention we don’t need right now. I have to enter quietly. That is something I know how to do. Please, love.” 

********** 

Runa was no spy, so she was terrified. She was a noblewoman and pretending to be one would not be difficult. She just hoped that none of the Thalmor recognized her from Helgen if they were even there. She made sure she completely changed her hairstyle to make herself look different as much as she could. She made sure her dress was a bit boring so she didn’t stand out in any way. 

She couldn’t risk mingling with the nobles and Jarls. They would most likely know who she was, so she bribed the drunk noble to make a scene so she could escape through the kitchens with Malborn, the Wood Elf, who was working with Delphine and who sneaked in her gear. 

Putting on her armor and weapons, she went into stealth mode, evading guards whenever she saw them. She had to take out a couple of guards in the courtyard since one was standing right in front of the very door she needed to get into. 

In the next building, she ran out of luck. As soon as she opened the door, a guard was standing right there and tried to kill her. She rolled out of his way and shouted, “Fus Ro” at him as he went flying. Of course, that drew the attention of everyone else. She had to continue to shout at them and pluck them off with her arrows as they were trying to recover. There would have been no way she could have fought them off on her own otherwise.

I’ll make sure to leave this part out when I tell Kaidan. 

Breathing heavily, she quickly grabbed all the documents she could find before more guards showed and stole the key to the dungeon to sneak out that way. 

When she reached the dungeon, she saw one more guard, killing him. There was a man in the cell who had clearly been tortured. Visions of Kaidan and his back crossed her mind. She knew how vicious the Thalmor were and freed him, understanding Kaidan’s fears all too well. There was a chest open with some documents and she grabbed them quickly before more guards came. But it was too late. There were two Thalmor who yelled down to her from the loft above. 

They had Malborn captive and threatened to kill him if she didn’t turn herself in. She wasted no time in talking and fired two arrows at their heads, killing them instantly. 

After the three made it out of the dungeon, through the cave under the Embassy and outside far enough away, she pulled out the dossiers and started reading them. She wanted to go over them before she handed them to Delphine, uncertain if the woman would share information with her after all her work. One was a document that indicated the Thalmor had no idea why the dragons were rising.

_ Dammit! Of course, it wouldn’t be that simple. _

There was a dossier on Delphine, unsurprisingly. Another was on Esbern, whom she found out about from the prisoner she had set free. But, it was the last one that caught her eye. It was a dossier on the Akaviri. She opened and when she started reading it, she was horrified. It was a list of all Akaviri settlements and how the Thalmor hunted them down and just slaughtered them. It was genocide. It described them having swords like Kaidan’s! There’s a mention of one abandoned settlement right here in Skyrim, near Riften. Maybe they could check out this abandoned settlement. She was going to have to show this to Kaidan. 

********** 

“You found this at the embassy?” he asked after he spent several minutes checking her up and down to make sure she didn’t have a scratch on her. 

“Yes, they had it with Esbern and Delphine’s dossiers, both of whom are Blades. I wonder if the Akaviri are related to the blades or similar somehow. They were hunted down just like the Blades were. I mean, even your armor and sword look similar to those of the Blades. Look at where they talk about a settlement at Northwind Summit. We should go and see if there are any clues regarding your sword.” 

“Aye,” he said excitedly.


	45. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan finally gets some answers to his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and commenting!!

After handing the documents over to Delphine and plans to get Esbern out of Riften, they first headed first to Northwind Summit as it was on the way. It proved to be quite challenging fighting off a few skeletons through the mine and once they reached outside, there was a dragon crouched, lying in wait for the next clueless prey to stumble into its domain. 

After finally taking down the dragon, Runa absorbed the dragon soul and word. She was exhausted, but they started poking around the settlement looking for clues. It wasn’t a simple task as they had no idea what they were looking for exactly. There were some decrepit shacks, but nothing of note could be found. As she was walking around the perimeter of the cliffside, something caught Runa’s eye by a pillar and headed over to it.

Looking around and moving debris, she could see a hidden hollowed-out stone that had dragon writing on it. The only thing hidden in there was a beautiful ring with a stone she had never seen before. It was gold and had multiple colors shimmering through it. Curious and beautiful, though she didn’t understand what purpose it served or if it had anything to do with what they were seeking.

“Kaidan! Come look at this!”

He headed her way and handed him the beautiful ring to see if he had any idea what it was for. He looked at it closely, but just ended up shrugging and handing it back to her and she just put it on her finger.

Runa bent down and ran a hand on the stone, brushing her fingers on the writing. “Look at this writing. It’s in dragon language. I can only make out enough of the writing to know that this must be the clue we are looking for. It appears it’s sending us to another clue...a dragon burial mound near Windhelm, I believe. That’s North of here, so I guess we can make another detour.” 

Instead of heading to Riften as they were supposed to, they headed North to see what they would find, hoping they could spare a couple of days. 

********** 

Kaidan was curious to find out what was in the chest. He was pacing excitedly to find out if there was going to be any more clues that would give him answers to his past and his sword. While he was digging in the soil, they did not expect to find an entire chest. It was very heavy, assuming there would be quite a bit of treasure in it. After he had dug it out, she was trying to open it for him with her lockpicks as there was no key to be found. 

It proved quite challenging, but she managed to finally open it. There were just a few unique enchanted items she had never seen before. There was a strange looking shield, a beautiful amber amulet, a dark circlet with amber stones and some papers. As Kaidan was examining the items for clues, not knowing their purpose, she opened the old and delicate papers to read them when her mouth fell open. She didn’t finish reading them as it was a private letter to Kaidan. 

“Kai?” He quickly looked at her for her voice sounded strange and urgent. “I think you better read this.” 

He took the papers from her and suddenly found himself on the ground, unable to stand. It was a letter...from his mother. 

_ My Beloved son, Kaidan, _

_ If the Gods allow it, I will be standing at your side when you uncover these heirlooms, but with events unraveling as they are, I’ve come to understand this may never be. I realize now I may be writing my last words to you. _

_ As your father used to say, ‘prepare for the worst and hope for the best.’ _

_ Like some of the other surviving Akaviri, our bloodline was charged with preserving and protecting what relics and information we have left, until the Last Dragonborn arrived, and the Dragonguard could return to their true purpose. What you find here are some of the treasures; guard them and use their power to protect yourself in turn. I have left more in the world for you and have faith that if you discover these, you will find the rest. _

_ At this moment in time, I cannot predict what else is safe to write, or how much you know of your family and clan. I have faith that if the worst should happen, Tarben or Brynjar will protect you as they have promised me. I will leave you instead with something else you must know, above all else. _

_ You have been the light of my life, my child. As I write this, I hold you sleeping in my lap, so small and new yet even now I see shades of the man you will become. Even if my worst fears are realized and I cannot be there to raise you, do not ever doubt how much you are loved, or how proud I am to be your mother. _

_ For some nights now, I have dreamt of you, not as the infant in my arms, but as a grown man. You walk over snow and ice in the darkest night, when the sun finally rises and turns the sky to fire, and dragons soar from the horizon. I cannot help thinking that as the era – and the Empire spirals to its end, you will be there to see the great rebirth from the ashes. Remember this: _

_ When misrule takes its place at the (eight corners of the world) _

_ When the Brass Tower walks and time (is reshaped) _

_ When the thrice-blessed fail and the (Red Tower trembles) _

_ When the Dragonborn Ruler loses his (throne and the white tower falls) _

_ When the Snow Tower lies sundered (Kingless, bleeding) _

_ The World-Eater wakes, and the wheel (turn upon the Last Dragonborn) _

_ You may be the last of our clan alive to see it. _

_ I close this letter now with desperate hope it is not the end. _

_ With all the love in my heart, _

_ Mei _

“By the Gods, after all these years...” 

Runa reached for him. He looked almost in shock. He wasn’t expecting a letter from his mother, just some more clues. “Kai, are you OK?” 

He just nodded, “There is a lot written here and a lot to take in. I need some time to think about all this.” 

“OK, Kai.” Runa nodded and combed his stray hairs back from his face, worried about him. 

********** 

They had to find Esbern, but Kaidan needed some time to process all this information, so they stayed in Riften for a couple of days to rest at the Bee and Barb. They didn’t want to wait any longer beyond that, not if they didn’t want the Thalmor to reach Esbern first. 

Runa brought up some food and drink to their room so she could talk to him in private about what they found. She knew he was still trying to process everything, but she wanted to make sure he was OK. His face gave away nothing as he was lost in thought, so it was hard to tell what was going on with him. 

“How are you, Kai? Are you feeling OK about the letter we found? Talk to me.” 

He nodded. “I’m doing OK. The letter just gave me a lot to think about.” 

“So, you know about your mother...” 

“I was not expecting to find answers about my mother and now that I have, I feel grateful that I finally have some answers and know who she was. And...and that she loved me.” 

Runa grabbed his hand. They were quiet for a while and Runa wanted to talk about what she was thinking after their discovery. 

“She talked about me, the Dragonborn and, you the Dragonguard. I often thought we were connected somehow, more than just through emotions but something bigger than that...you felt it too, right?

He looked at her nodded. “Aye.”

“Something pulled me to you that day in the prison. There was a reason we both ended up in there, I’m certain of it. Do you think it was fate we met, Kai?” She inwardly cringed as she still didn’t like the idea of not having control over her own life. But as far as fates go, the one with Kaidan was perfect. 

“Aye...before I would have said no, but it’s highly suspicious as far as destiny goes. You the Last Dragonborn and me the Last Dragonguard.” 

“Hmmmm, sounds like we could rule an empire with those titles,” she joked to lighten the mood a bit. 

“Aye, it does that,” he smiled and kissed her.


	46. Mehrunes Dagon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan has been forced to tell the rest of his story to Runa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and commenting!! It means everything!

Making sure Kaidan wasn’t nearby, so Runa could try to use her charm on the handsome red-headed Nord to no avail. He was completely immune to her feminine ways. Reluctantly, she was going to have to do his favor before he provided her any information. She wasn’t a criminal, but he was leaving her no choice.

“Lass, I have been at this game for a long time. Beautiful you may be, it still won’t change my mind.”

She couldn’t help but smile at him regardless. He was certainly charming with his kind green eyes that twinkled with humor though he had no smile on his face. _ I could learn a thing or two from him. _

“Very well, what would you have me do?”

Opening the strongbox wasn’t exactly a challenge for her, but the reverse pick-pocketing to put the ring into the Dunmer’s pocket was an entirely different game. She never had the unfortunate position to need such skills and it took every trick she knew to keep him from noticing, but she finally managed it.

“I see I chose well. You could do well with us, Lass.”

“Do well with whom?”

“The Thieves’ Guild. We could use someone like you.”

She raised her hands up, “Oh no. I appreciate the offer, Sir Brynjolf, but I am a noblewoman. I would like to keep it that way and not end up in prison. I just need to know about this man. Please, as you promised, if I did your job for you.”

He moved in closer to her and looked down at her, invading her personal space, cranking up his own charms knowing he was much more skilled at such things. “Are you sure, Lass? I could make it worth your while.” After Vilkas, she was learning the nuances of men when they started encroaching on her space with that look in their eyes that they may want something more than just to stand next to her. She certainly caught his meaning.

Yes, he was quite charming. “Again, I…”

Brynjolf suddenly looked up when the sunlight was blotted out of his peripheral vision and saw a hulking man with an unusual appearance stand before him looking quite surly and arms crossed. _ This man could probably crush me in no time. _

Kaidan was _ not _ going to put up with another Vilkas ever again and stopped the whole scene before it even began

She looked over her shoulder to see Kaidan standing there and smiled sweetly at Brynjolf. “Brynjolf, I would like you to meet my husband, Kaidan.”

Brynjolf smiled brightly and raised his hands up defensively, slowly backing away from Runa then bowed to her. “My apologies, Milady.” Runa couldn’t help but chuckle at the whole scene.

**********

They finally found Esbern in the Ratway Warrens and had to fight off the Thalmor who had also found him. It took all her abilities to keep Kaidan under control and not lose his focus with the Thalmor as he just wanted to go on a killing rampage, his trauma hitting him full force at the sight of them. He was about to beat one of the elves to a pulp before she called out to him. 

“Kai! He’s dead, my love. Please stop,” she said as calmly as she could to help tone down his rage, though the whole scene was making her ill. He reluctantly lowered his sword as they moved on, but the rage and anger still visible on his face.

After they returned Esbern to Delphine in Riverwood, they made their way back home to Lakeview. They were gone for quite a while and needed some rest, especially now that Runa was starting to show. 

But they didn’t get to rest very long before they received a letter that there was another dragon to be dealt with South West of Dawnstar. Kaidan was starting to get reluctant about venturing out and killing dragons now that she was getting bigger, but she insisted that she still had a long way to go and she could still handle it. 

********** 

Runa sneaked up to the dragon, quickly pelting it with arrows before it knew what hit it, thus it too no time to weaken. When it finally landed from exhaustion, Kaidan took it out with his great-sword. Runa, as usual, absorbed the dragon’s soul and there was a word wall as well. She was learning the language quickly now the more dragons they killed. She would need it in the time to come. 

Heading back to Dawnstar to inform the Jarl the dragon was dead, they ran into a strange temple close to where the dragon was. She could see it in the distance, a massive statue of some fierce demon-looking creature carved into the mountainside she assumed to be Deadra. She wondered who carved such a thing and why. 

Fascinated, Runa ran off to go explore the area, reminding herself of her father right then. He was always excited to see things he hadn’t yet discovered, ever the scholar. 

She had never seen anything like it. She knew that there were large statues across Skyrim dedicated to worshiping the Gods and Daedra, but this one, in particular, was very disturbing and intriguing, so she wanted to see what it was all about. The statue was bigger than any building she had ever seen, with four arms and a menacing face. There were some ornate iron doors too, but they were locked. As she neared it, she reached out to touch the statue... 

Kaidan quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back before she could touch it. She looked at him out of curiosity as to why he stopped her and she could see anxiousness and fear in his eyes, checking around as if something was going to jump out and kill them at any moment. “We shouldn’t be here…,” he whispered. 

“Why, what’s wrong?” 

Looking up at the massive statue, he explained, “Mehrunes Dagon is a Daedric Prince of destruction, change, revolution, ambition...he is evil. He believes Tamriel is his realm of Oblivion and has tried to constantly conquer it. He thrives on death and destruction.” 

“Kai, you have never been anxious about Daedric shrines before. Why now? 

“Please, let’s just go. We have to leave...right now. Please, we...we can talk at home.” 

She had never seen Kai this afraid before and wanted to know what was going on, but agreed to talk later. 

********** 

When they made it home, she knew Kaidan was going to try to weasel out of explaining himself. He hated talking about himself, especially regarding the more negative things from his past. There was still quite a bit she didn’t know about him, though always trusted him. She may not know everything about him, but she had her suspicions on what this was all about. 

“OK, Kai, out with it. What happened back there at the shrine? Does this have to do with your past with the Blooded Dawn? You said you all worshiped a Daedric Prince. Did they worship Mehrunes Dagon?” 

His mouth fell agape at her perceptiveness and in remembering what he told her about his past. “You’ve pieced it all together then...aye, they followed his doctrine...as did...I. A piece of me I very much wish to forget.” He slumped down in a chair, his face full of strain and regret. 

“I am certain this is something I need to know, Kaidan.” He noticed she didn’t call him ‘Kai.’ 

Swallowing hard, he nodded, “I know...I shouldn’t keep secrets from you, but please know I am a different person now or at least trying to be. That life I left far behind.” Sighing heavily, “So, what do you want to know?” 

“How did you meet these Blooded Dawn?” 

His eyes started to glaze over lost in memories as he told her his story, “Their leader had a large bounty on his head and I _really _wanted it. It was hard-fought, but I killed him and I thought his followers would kill me for it when they started to surround me and I would have died had they chosen that path. Instead, they honored me; respected me for it. How messed up is that? They brought me into their fold and gave me a place to belong. I had no place in this world, roaming and wandering alone, and they gave me one. I was actually happy for a while.” 

“Tell me about their Doctrine.” 

“They rule and thrive on destruction. Purge the old to make way for the new. Kill the weak to make room for the strong. They believed it was a necessary evil. They found beauty in death, torture, and violence...even rivaling the Dark Brotherhood. But really, they were just violent people looking to justify what they did...as I did. I was really no better than them. But, then there was one night where I couldn’t justify it anymore...” 

Runa’s stomach started to turn and instinctively wrapped her arms around her growing tummy. She knew this was going to be bad and she was trying not to get upset about what he was telling her. She knew he was a good person who had done some bad things, but she didn’t know the extent of it. “What happened,” she asked reluctantly, suddenly wishing she never brought up the subject. 

Running his hand nervously through his hair and moved his hands down to his face to hide his shame. “The farm happened. A small estate outside of Leyawiin. We were just supposed to steal from them to restock supplies is all...” When he removed his hands, she could see he looked suddenly sick, which made her pale. 

“The things that were done to that family...the torture, the rapes, the screams. It went on and on and I didn’t do anything about it...I couldn’t. I was a coward! I wish I could forget it all, but perhaps I don’t deserve to forget. 

Night after night, I couldn’t get their screams out of my head. The horrible nightmares would hit me in sleep and wakefulness. I couldn’t remove the horrors from my mind, so the only thing I could think to do was destroy the entire cult itself...kill them all!” 

“Is that what you meant when you told me you got away? Is that how?” 

“Yes, but it didn’t go exactly according to plan...but does it ever? I...I had a woman; Rosalind, the cult’s priestess who was a master at conjuration and alteration magic. I didn’t want her to die when I brought the cult down and thought she would be on my side, thinking she loved me – stupid assumption! I wanted to know if her magic could make me stronger and she said it could. Instead, she turned her magic on me. She tried to set me in the fires of Oblivion and I fought back. Our fight was so brutal, it destroyed the hideout and everyone inside it. I was severely injured, but they were finally destroyed.” 

“Did you love her,” Runa asked unable to mask her nausea and anger. 

“I thought I did, but I never knew love until I met you. You showed me what love really was. I...I’m so sorry.” 

“You should have told me all this, Kaidan. Don’t you think that was something I should have known _ before _ we married?” 

“I should have but...my shame and I didn’t want it to be a part of my life here. Can’t you see that?! I had to find a way to start over!” 

He sat there unable to bring himself to look at her with his shame. He told her once he didn’t want to see how she looked at him to change and now it will forever change. _ She will never forgive me from all the horrors I have done and I deserve it! _

She went to sit next to him and grab his hand, still angry, but she could see how he suffered. “I know how hard this was for you to tell me and I can’t say this isn’t...disappointing, to say the least. But you have shown me over and over you are trying to better yourself and be a good person. You have shown to me every single time how good you really are. This is a horrible piece of your past, granted, and you should have told me. I’m not happy about that at all. But I know it’s not you any longer. It changes nothing for how I feel about you.

And, you were there for me during my horrible experience with the Companions and stuck it out with me and never left my side though I know you were very angry with me. I can do no less by you.” 

He just slumped with relief. He wished it was something he could erase, but he’s stuck with it and now she knows and she still didn’t hate him. He still wondered how he deserves such a woman. How could she be so understanding? 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m not sure I deserve your understanding.” 

“Everyone deserves redemption if they try hard enough for it, Kai.”


	47. Kaidan's Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan's past comes back to haunt him and Runa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Violence and Miscarriage

Runa was sleeping one night while Kaidan was still awake watching her still wondering how he deserved her and happy life after everything. Not that he was complaining, but he was afraid it would all be taken from him because of it. He had his hand on her newly swelling tummy and could feel the slight movements. It made him suddenly smile and feel happy, quickly forgetting about his fears. 

He was terrified at first when she told him the news, but as he could see his child grow and feel it move around, there was a wonderment about it all. He was still scared he would be a horrible father, but Runa insisted that that wouldn’t be the case and he trusted her judgment, though the doubts lingered. He was also so excited at the same time, wondering if they were going to have a girl or a boy. He bent over to kiss her tummy and finally laid back down to fall asleep. 

In the morning, Kaidan to the sun and reached out to Runa only to feel cold and empty space. After getting dressed, he headed to the kitchen for breakfast and to see if she was eating yet. Rayya was there making some breakfast for all of them. “Have you seen Runa?” 

“No, sir, I haven’t seen her at all this morning. I thought she was still sleeping.” 

She loves to read, so he went to see if she was upstairs in the study. She wasn’t there either. After searching the entire house with no sign of her, he headed outside to see if she was in the garden. She was nowhere to be found. _ Where is she? _

Starting to get a bit nervous, he was about to head to the lake and look when he turned around and suddenly found himself face to face with a Dremora. He instantly drew his sword. 

“Kaidan - Traitor,” it said in a hauntingly deep voice. 

“What? A Dremora?” 

“Lord Dagon demands reparations. He will claim your soul, then feast on the blood of the Dragonborn.” 

“Dagon? I’m not a puppet for that beast any longer! And, he better not touch her! Tell me who summoned you!!!” 

“The time for talk is done. You will bleed.” 

Kaidan wasted no time and quickly decapitated the Dremora. It was no match for his skill. 

_ It knew my name and came for me. I thought I left that all behind!_

Panic set in when he realized he couldn’t find Runa after facing the Dremora. _ No, no, no! _ Again, he searched top to bottom of the house and outside, calling out to her. He looked for a note that might tell him where she was. Nothing. Running to the lake and calling out again, but he knew deep down that they took her, whomever ‘they’ were. 

_ Think, think, think...who could summon a Dremora? _

_ ...Rosalind._

She was a master at conjuration and alteration. If Rosalind had Runa he was certain Runa would die and die brutally if he didn’t reach her on time. He had absolutely no doubts Rosalind would sacrifice Runa to Dagon for more power. He ran back into the house to pack and pushed Thor back to Mehrunes Dagon’s shrine with fear and regret filling him. 

********** 

He couldn’t find a way into the shrine; getting angry and frustrated. A hopelessness crept into his mind, but he refused to give up the search. _ She had to be here somewhere! _ He started to walk around the base of the hill to see if there was another entrance when he stumbled upon a cave. He hoped this was a secret way in...it was now or never. As soon as he entered the cave, he knew this was the right place with the cave riddled with blood and corpses. Rosalind thrived on blood and death; it granted her more power with each sacrifice. 

At the end of the cave was a bloodied door. Opening it brought him to a large chamber and In the center were piles and piles of corpses and blood that also decorated the walls. He tried to hold back the bile from the gore and smell of rotting flesh. At the far end of the chamber, he could see her standing there. 

_ Rosalind. _

He thought she was so beautiful at one time with her blonde hair, flame tattoos and her red robes that barely covered her body. Now she looked like she was burning within. She was a vile person and he assumed the closer she reached Dagon, the worse she looked--like she was burning within. If she did anything to Runa... 

_ No, I cannot think about that. Just kill Rosalind! _

“You don’t seem surprised to see me, Kaidan.” 

“I knew it was you who sent the Dremora. Are you here to kill me then?” 

“Kill you? Oh no; maim you perhaps. Now here you are and you have given me your Dragonborn right on a silver platter.” 

“WHERE IS SHE!!!” 

Rosalind used her telekinesis powers to lift Runa up and show her to him, her smirk filled with no humor. She was gagged to keep her from shouting and clearly afraid, unable to move. As soon as she saw him, he could see tears fill her eyes. 

“LET HER GO, OR BY THE GODS I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU!” 

She ignored him and put Runa back down. “Lord Dagon whispered of your arrival. You’ve been very busy, Kaidan. You’ve become the bodyguard of the Dragonborn. You follow her around like a sad little guard dog. I’m sure all she has to do is whistle and you come running like a good doggie...pathetic! 

And, here you are married to her with a baby on the way. Isn’t that sweet? I can’t even begin to think about what induced you to such a thing,” she said in disgust and contempt in her eyes. 

“How could you know these things?” 

“Oh yes, I see that ring on your finger and I see her little mound on her tummy...little baby Kaidan,” she said in an attempt to mock baby sounds. 

“I have changed, Rosalind. I am not the person you once knew. I have done everything I could to redeem myself and push the horrors of the Blooded Dawn out of my head and out of my life.” 

“Please, you of all people ask for a God’s blessing and settle for domestic slavery? What a joke...you’re a joke,” she hissed. 

“I love her and know now you were nothing to me. She cares for me and has taught me what it means to love and forgive. Something you will never have and never will understand. All you care about is death and power.” 

“Love? I don’t need _love_. Does your ‘love’ even know about you, Kaidan? The REAL you? 

“I have told her all.” 

“You sure about that? Oh, I doubt that...the stories I could tell! Don’t worry...I will relay each and every one of your sins to her as I tear the flesh from her skin,” she said, with a vile laugh. “I will make sure she knows all the evil you have done as I rip her still beating heart from her chest.” 

“I will kill you first! You will never touch her!!!” 

“Oh, poor Kaidan, but you are too late. You will never reach her in time.” As soon as she spoke, she used her telekinesis spell and threw Runa across the room, slamming her against the stone wall. “NO!” Kaidan ran to her to get her before Rosalind lifted her up and threw her to the other side of the room. The fear had gripped him and he knew he had to control his emotions if he wanted to save her. 

He could see Runa bleeding out and knew she was seriously hurt. Instead of giving in to despair, he found himself angry as Rosalind wouldn’t let him reach Runa. He knew then that Rosalind would have to die first before he could even attend to Runa. He pulled out his bow and ran straight for her yelling, shooting as many arrows as he could, while she shot her fire spells at him. He dodged them, rolling on the ground and continued shooting her with arrows. Most missed her but he finally managed to hit her on the shoulder and she screamed in anger, flinging Runa once more against a stone wall. While she was distracted, Kaidan finally reached her, drew his sword and decapitated her, growling loudly at nothing other than at himself. 

He ran to Runa as fast as he could, realizing stupidly he didn’t bring a healing potion. She was bruised, battered, bleeding and broken. Lifting her, trying not to panic, he carried her out of the cave and put her on Thor as they rushed to Dawnstar to find a healer. 

********** 

When the healer came out of the room after treating Runa, she approached Kaidan. “She will live. She had her arm, some ribs, a concussion and collarbone broken. They are now mending and she should have full use of them soon.” 

Kaidan sighed in relief that she would be OK. 

The healer gently reached out to him and grasped his arm lightly. He knew then that there was grave news and he shut his eyes waiting for the painful blow. 

“There is a more grave issue to address. I’m afraid your child did not survive. I am so very sorry for your loss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are our Kaidan and Runa going to deal with the aftermath of Kaidan's violent past?


	48. Grief and Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Runa deal with their grief in their own way, and it's not together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, graphic violence
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and comments are so appreciated!!

Kaidan's eyes tried to weep, but he held them back while holding Runa’s hand as she was sleeping. He didn’t think he felt so strongly for the child until he knew it was gone. He didn't realize how much he loved it already. But his grief soon gave way to anger and hatred; feelings he hadn’t felt since his time with the Blooded Dawn. 

He couldn’t do this...couldn’t face her. There was too much anger in him, so he left her behind in Dawnstar. He needed to hurt something to still his anger or fuel it--he couldn’t decide which, and since there was no more Blooded Dawn to kill, that something was the Thalmor. He would hunt them down and kill every one of them for whipping him, beating him, and stabbing him. The thoughts fuel him, getting angrier with every memory of every pain inflicted on him by their hands. 

He headed out the door and only paused for a second with a thought of how Runa would react to how he was right now, but he shoved it way down and crushed it under his mental foot to let his anger fester. 

********** 

She awoke at dawn a few days later and almost fully healed, but emotionally she was destroyed. No amount of potions could cure her from her grief. She had lost so many dear to her in less than a year and her chance to have a family again was lost. Not only did she lose her baby, but she lost Kaidan too. He was nowhere to be found, but she knew he had lost his way when he found out their child had died. 

Once Runa was fully recovered, she got on her horse that Kaidan must have put in the stables and pulled Thor behind her as he left the horse behind. She was going to go back to their Lakeview home, but she just couldn’t bear it, so she headed to her small home in Whiterun. She knew Kaidan was dealing with his own grief over the loss of their child, but she wasn’t sure if he would ever come back since he left no word. If he did, she was afraid of what kind of man he would be, knowing he had such a dark side to him. 

Instead of grieving at home, she decided to work and avoided everyone. She didn’t go see Alva, she didn’t visit her family at the temple. She still had a job to do and it would keep her busy and distracted. She just couldn’t handle the grief again and needed to block it out for a while. Her grief could come later when she was ready. 

The first thing she had to do is return the Horn of Jurgen to the Greybeards. 

********** 

Kaidan was at one of the many shrines of Talos openly lying in wait. He found out inadvertently that the Thalmor were spying on the shrines to catch anyone praying to Talos where they would be ambushed and either outright kill them or haul them off to prison for torture and death. The Thalmor were ruthless and of one mind in their regard to Talos worship. 

He was perching on the pedestal below Talos’ feet waiting for them and they didn’t disappoint. There were three of them that approached him and their biggest mistake was their boldness, throwing caution to the wind because most who still worshiped Talos were’t generally trained soldiers--easy targets 

_ They always show up predictably, _ he thought as he smirked menacingly at them.

They had their hands out ready to blast out destructive magic at Kaidan, their disdain for him hidden beneath their hoods, but they clearly underestimated him. Kaidan slowly got up with no fear of death, raised his sword as they started throwing their fire spells and creating wards to protect themselves from him. But those wards couldn’t protect them from his sword as he finally ran at them, dodging their spells and he quickly decapitated two of them. 

The last Thalmor’s hood had fallen off and Kaidan could see he had a look of fear in his eyes and missing his target from that fear as Kaidan approached him with death and hatred in his eyes. He stabbed the High Elf with his sword, but not to kill...just to maim. The elf dropped to his knees and closed his eyes awaiting the killing blow as he was bleeding out and out of mana to protect himself. But Kaidan just circled him as a vulture to carrion. 

He crouched in front of the elf and roughly grabbed his chin forcing the elf to look at him. “How does it feel to be on the receiving end of pain and torture, you piece of shit?!” He circled the elf again, knowing the waiting game could be just as painful before he stabbed him again.

The elf slumped over still alive when Kaidan finally lost control and started hacking and slashing the elf relentlessly, growling loudly, until the elf was no longer recognizable and Kaidan was covered in his blood and gore. 

********** 

She sadly watched the Jarl’s children run around, instinctively reaching out for her now empty stomach, trying not to cry, but a few strays fell as she quickly wiped them away. They were having fun playing tag and full of giggles while she waited for the Jarl’s Housecarl to pay her for slaying the latest dragon. Once she was paid, she headed out to meet Delphine and Esbern in The Reach, at Karthspire, where the Sky Temple was located. 

It took a while to take down the Forsworn in the area, which was a particularly large clan, they finally entered the Sky Temple, there were a few tests that only a Dragonborn could perform in order to reach each section. They came to the last test when Esbern spoke up, “Ah, here’s the ‘blood seal.’ Another of the lost Akaviri arts.” Runa always saddened when she heard ‘Akaviri’ thinking about where Kaidan might be. She missed him so much it hurt, but she pushed it back...she had a job to do. “This seal is no doubt triggered by...well blood. Your blood, Dragonborn.” 

Pushing aside her sadness, she cut her hand with her dagger without hesitation wanting to keep moving on quickly and let the blood pool into the seal, opening the way into the main part of the temple. 

“Isn’t this amazing,” said Esbern as he entered the temple while Delphine busied herself lighting all the braziers. 

“Esbern, I just want to know how to defeat Alduin,” she said with a sigh, trying not to sound annoyed, but she didn't want to talk about it--just find a way to kill Alduin and press forward. 

“Ah, of course. Not everyone has an appreciation for the artistic wonders of the world. Let me see if I can find the right panel...” 

“This isn’t about art. This is about stopping Alduin before we no longer have art to appreciate or a people to admire it,” Runa said exasperatedly. “What’s so important about me being Dragonborn, exactly?” 

“Haven’t you been paying attention to anything I have said? Only you can finally defeat Alduin and avert the end of the world! If we can just find out what Shout the ancient Nords used, you may have a chance. Or not. There’s no guarantee with prophecy. Merely hope.” 

“Any advice for fighting dragons?” 

“You’re in luck! There is a blessing the Blades used on the eve of battle. It’s supposed to prepare the mind for slaying dragons. I doubt the blessing’s effects last for very long, so ask whenever you’re heading out, and I’ll perform the proper rites.” 

“Well, I’m heading out now to see the Greybeards about that shout. I need that dragon-slaying blessing.” 

“’May the scales of the dragonkind splinter at the touch of your arrows, and crack under the weight of your sword.’ That’s all there is to it, Dragonborn. Good luck!” 

She had one very important thing to do first before she headed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Kaidan be able to find his way back from the pain?


	49. Spent Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan finally burns out and Runa continues her journey alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are so appreciated!

Kaidan felt wasted inside and out. His body was thinner; his beard had grown in. The fire of revenge in him was completely spent after months of hunting down the Thalmor. The more he killed the Thalmor, the more his thoughts drifted towards Runa.

It was late evening and he was lying in his tent. He was so exhausted—emotionally and physically. It had become so overwhelming for him, he just finally wept and wept. Kaidan never had a chance to properly grieve, well he chose not to, and it finally caught up with him. There was no more anger to fuel his fire, so now he was forced to face his pain. He knew revenge wouldn’t make him feel better and it only made him feel worse. No amount of killing was going to bring back his child. In truth, it wasn’t only about his loss, but his torture and the trauma it caused psychologically.

In the end, he knew it wasn’t just about revenge for anyone other than himself for what happened to Runa and their child. It was his fault—for all of it. If he had told her earlier about his past, they may have been more prepared for what faced them, but he kept silent for his shame. Now their child was dead and he had not been able to face Runa. 

If he was to recover from all this anger, he was going to have to forgive himself. He knew this deep down. It was something he had not been able to do as of yet. One thing was certain, he was going to have to finally go home. There was no fire left in him to hunt any longer. She most likely wasn’t there any longer, probably fighting the dragons and Alduin alone since he abandoned her. She would never forgive him for what he’s done, despite her being the most understanding person he had ever known. 

********** 

Rayya made him some hot tea, gave him a blanket and a letter while she went to the bedroom to draw him a bath. Sitting down on the floor by the fire, his hands shook as he opened the letter knowing it was from her. He didn’t want to read her anger, but he couldn’t put it down either. He deserved whatever verbal assault she threw at him. 

_ My Dearest Kai, _

_ I write to you to let you know where I have gone. I had too much pain with the loss of our child and the loss of you. I went to do my job as Dragonborn. While I grieved, the world would not hold still as I did so. So, I must go and find a way to kill Alduin. I am getting close to reaching him, I can feel it. _

_ I know you have been grieving in your own way. I also know you well enough that you blame yourself for all of this. You had a dark past, but this wasn’t your fault. It was her obsession over you and desire for power from Dagon that was the cause of all this. We all make mistakes and bad choices, and you have already paid dearly for yours. You have been so good to me and you are a good person, whether you want to believe it or not. I just hope this grief and self-blame doesn’t lead you on the path of self-loathing and self-destruction. _

_ Please know that you are loved and greatly missed. I hope you return one day to me and you are alive to read this. You may not see it or want to believe it, but I forgive you, though there is nothing to forgive. I think you need to read those words from me. I am certain you left in part because you couldn’t face me. Now you just have to forgive yourself. I think that is one thing you have never been able to do. _

_ I hope you are home when I return if I am able to return to you alive. I don’t know what is to come or if I will even live through this. But I pray to all the Gods that I will and you will be here to hold me in your arms for I know I will need it. If I am unable to return to you, please know again, I forgive you and I will always love you. _

_ Yours forever, Runa. _

He couldn’t take it any longer and wept once again. How could she still possibly love him after all this?! He didn’t deserve her; he never did. But thinking back on her words about self-loathing, she was right. He had never been able to forgive himself for anything he had ever done. If she could do it, why couldn’t he? 

Rayya stood there in the corner watching her Thane weep. It was painful to watch and she knew what had happened to his wife. They were so happy together when they were home and she hoped they could both recover from all this. She liked them both very much. “Come, my Thane; take a bath. You will feel better.” 

********** 

She reached him with the help of the Greybeards. She finally got to meet their leader to get his help to reach Alduin. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be a dragon,” she said in wide-eyed surprise. 

“I am as my father Akatosh made me. As are you..._Dovahkiin._

“You’re the master of the Greybeards?” 

“They see me as master. _Wuth. Onik_. Old and wise. It is true I am old... 

She did not have the time to chat with this old dragon despite her fascination with the fact she was actually talking to a dragon. Parthurnaax completely changed her view on dragons, realizing how intelligent they really were. “I need to learn the Dragonrend Shout. Can you teach it to me?” 

“Ah, I have expected you. _Prodah._ You would not come all this way for tinvaak with an old _dovah_. No. You seek your weapon against Alduin.” 

“How did you know I came for Dragonrend?” 

“_Anduin komeyt tiid. _ What else would you seek? Alduin and _Dovahkiin_ return together. But I do not know the Thu’um you seek. _Krosis._ It cannot be known to me. Your kind – _ joorre _ – mortals – created it as a weapon against the _dov_...the dragons. Our _hadrimme,_ our minds cannot even...comprehend its concepts.” 

Runa soon discovered she must find an Elder Scroll to bring back to him so she could go back in that moment in time to learn the Dragonrend shout and eventually lead her to Alduin. 

********** 

Kaidan spent a few months in recovery at home--not of the physical nature, but of the soul. He would spend his days trying to meditate as best he could, finding it exceptionally hard to clear his mind and push back all his negative thoughts. Every morning he would be up to head outside and train with his sword and bow to keep skills honed and build himself back up. Then he would work in their garden tending to the vegetables and herbs or go fishing down at the lake; to do something quiet and peaceful. 

In the evenings before bed each night, he would sit by the fire and read her letter; reading her words over and over again, _“I forgive you.” _ It became somewhat a talisman for him. He read it so often, the pages were beginning to tear, but he was careful. 

He refused to leave the property. He didn’t want to go out and let his anger spiral out of control again and just stick with calming activities. It was hard at first but as time went on, he started slowly feeling better mentally and emotionally. He also didn’t want to leave in case Runa came back. He wanted to make sure he was here for her; vowing to never leave her like that again. He would have chased after her had he known where she even was. Guilty thoughts of him not being with her and fighting the dragons alone kept creeping in, but he had to make sure they were pushed aside lest he lose control again. The only negative thinking he would allow himself was the worry that she would live through all this. If she returned to him, he would make sure she was the happiest woman alive.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It took Kaidan and Runa a year to finally reunite.
> 
> Sexual content...NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost time to say goodbye to my first couple I wrote about :(
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and commenting! It means everything!!

It had been 8 long months since Kaidan had been quietly living at Lakeview Manor, and they had been apart just over a year. He had to keep the house running, and that meant making some money. He would periodically help Falkreath Hold with problems like bandits and such, but he never strayed too far or was gone too long to make sure he was always close enough to the house in case she came home. But after all this time, he had his doubts she would ever return. Negative thoughts would creep in his mind that she was dead; that he should have been there for her to help her kill Alduin. 

_ She has been gone too long! _

He had to still his anger at himself and went off to chop wood. He found it was a great exercise to drown out the negative thoughts. He had been chopping wood for a good hour, his muscles pleasantly burning, and his anger stilled for a while. He stood up straight to wipe his sweaty brow when he saw a horse in the distance slowly approaching, limping with a slumped body over it. His heart started to pound, and his stomach dropped when he saw the horse looked a lot like Butternut. Dropping his axe, he ran to the horse where it got frightened, but Kaidan stilled the horse calmly so she wouldn't run off and saw a woman passed out on the horse. 

He swallowed hard, knowing it was Runa, though she was cloaked, and he couldn't see her buried in the cloth. She came back, but...was she even alive? He gently lifted her off the horse and knew she was still breathing..._Runa._

"Rayya!!!" he yelled out as he carried Runa to the house. "Quickly now! Go fetch a healer!" Rayya saw he was carrying Runa and didn't waste any time. She took Thor to run off to get the healer in Falkreath as fast as she could. 

Kaidan rushed into the house carrying Runa and sat down on their bed, holding her close to him, refusing to let her go. He looked her over, moving her hair out of her face. He could see she had new scars and dried blood above her left eye. Feeling around, he felt a couple of large lumps in her head. She looked like she hadn't eaten in a while—her face gaunt with dark circles under her eyes. Her torn and tattered armor was loose and no longer fitted like it used to. 

Reluctant to let her go, Kaidan had to lay her on the bed to remove Runa's armor to check her injuries and ready her for the healer. As each piece was removed, he could see bleeding cuts everywhere, some worse than others and bruises. He wondered if she fought Alduin or if something else happened. And asked himself why she would travel all the way here without stopping to get healed first. So many unknowns, but he was so grateful he finally got to see her and realized how much he missed her, making his eyes water. 

An hour later, the healer came and treated all of Runa's wounds. 

"She will be fine. She was pretty battered and it was likely the head wounds and exhaustion are what caused her to pass out. She has at least two concussions and my treatments will take care of that in no time. But she will live." 

Kaidan was on his knees by the bed, resting his head on her, relieved by the healer's words. When the healer left, he crawled into bed with her and just held her. 

Despite it being only early evening, Kaidan had fallen asleep next to her. She was lying on her side, facing him and looking at his face with tears of relief in her eyes. It had been so very long since she saw him. Much to her surprise, he looked so peaceful, so healthy, and strong. She didn't know where he was or what he had been through, but she was happy he was here and looking better than she could have ever hoped. She had prayed every day that he would be there waiting for her. 

She, on the other hand, would still need some work. Alduin was tough to defeat, but at least she wasn't alone in Sovngarde. She had the help of some of the best warriors past Skyrim had to offer and still couldn't believe she was actually there. Though he was defeated, all the time it took to get to him and defeat him took its toll on her body. She never had to fight off so many dragons, draugr and dragon priests. And she still didn't kill Alduin because she never absorbed his soul, after all that. But he's done for now.

Knowing she would recover, she just stared at Kaidan, feeling such a deep emotion she was trying not to sob out loud. Alduin was finally gone, and she and Kaidan could move on to their road of recovery. To her, that was far more important than anything else she had accomplished. 

Sensing her awake, he slowly opened his eyes and saw her staring at him with tears in her eyes. He wept yet again, grabbing her tightly to hold her, trying not to hurt her injuries with his face buried in her neck. 

"I'm so sorry..." was all he could choke out, relieved that he could finally tell her that. 

With his face nuzzling in her neck, while she held him back, he finally told her, "It took me a long time to get back and longer still to forgive myself. I read your letter every day while you were gone. I'm not sure I would have recovered without your words." 

She ran her hands through his long hair. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me you made it back to me. I grieved for a long time and knew after all this I would need you; that we would need each other. I can see in your eyes you have found some inner-peace. That makes me so happy too." 

By the next night, she was feeling healthy again, thanks to the excellent healer. Lying next to Kaidan in bed, she looked over at him as he was sleeping and snoring quietly. They had a long talk earlier that day. He told her absolutely everything, vowing to himself he would never hold back anything from her again—no more secrets. She took it all in and cried a few times about what he had been turning into; grateful he was able to come back from that. 

"I was afraid to have children. Afraid I would be a horrible father, but our loss..." he shook his head. "I didn't realize how strongly I loved our child already." 

She understood and knew he had to grieve in his own way, despite how destructive it was. She didn't agree with it, but she understood. She forgave him again for his leaving her to deal with her own grief alone. She then told him everything about defeating Alduin and actually going to Sovngarde, much to his amazement. 

It had been a long time for them, almost a year since they made love, and she missed it very much. She would dream about it when she was out there at night under the stars, needing something positive to think about when she felt herself sinking into despair. 

He was holding her sleeping as she moved her head to kiss his sleeping lips, feeling his warm breath on her face. She slowly moved her hand down his body, and she massaged him between his legs, feeling him get hard. Looking back up at him, she saw he had awakened, looking at her. She kissed him again, deeply, and this time he kissed her back, inserting his tongue into her waiting mouth. 

The Gods, she missed this. She sat up to straddle him and hovered herself over his awaiting mouth and tongue, bracing her hands against the wall behind their bed. Grabbing her ass with his hands, he pulled her into his mouth to lick her sensitive spot that she enjoyed so much. As his tongue roamed around her wetness, she moaned with the ever-familiar warmth spreading through her body. He went back to her sweet spot as she started getting wetter and gyrated into his mouth until she moaned loudly, finally releasing her pent-up passion. 

She quickly moved down on him and inserted his hardness into her as she gyrated with his movements. He grabbed her breasts, watching her move back and forth. Kaidan missed this very much, not blind to his fortune of being with her again like this. Her eyes were closed and head back, enjoying the feeling of him in her. 

With her on top of him, it reached so deeply that she could feel him hit the spot inside of her as she started to moan again, the feeling so strong she began to feel tears pool in her eyes. He could feel her clench tightly around him in her orgasmic throws, making him suddenly want to explode in her, groaning loudly. He was trying to push her off before that happened, but she just clenched tighter with her thighs to keep him there as he let loose unable to hold back any longer. 

She leaned down on him and kissed his lips. She pulled back a little, looking at him right in his eyes with a glint in hers and a smile. 

"I flew on a dragon!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is the epilogue where we see Runa and Kaidan, and how they faired after Alduin.


	51. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have to say goodbye to Runa and Kaidan. 🧡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say a profound thank you to those to read, supported and commented on my very first story. I have never written a story before...ever and because of your support, it has encouraged me to continue writing. I would love to know what you all thought of the story...the good, bad and ugly. I welcome constructive criticism. As it's my first story, I'm sure it was sorely lacking in many places 🙂, but it's all a learning process, right?
> 
> I hope you check out my other stories!
> 
> One is called [Nothing to Lose](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20760458)  
The other is [Makings of a Thief](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21742744)

Runa felt like she was about to burst. Their child was due any day now, and she was eager to see their little one finally. She was eating a snack at the table watching Kaidan hold their daughter, who was 9 already. She looked just like Runa, dimples and all, except her hair was straight like her daddy’s, and she had his red irises. She was so beautiful. 

“Here, Daddy, this is for you!” 

“Uhm, thanks, love.” She started giggling when he put the crown of flowers she made for him on his head. 

“You look pretty, Daddy!” 

Trying not to laugh, he gave her a kiss on her cheek and put her down finally. “Go on, lass. It’s time for your studies.” 

“Awww,” she complained. 

“Now none of that. You need to keep your mind sharp, lass. And, take your little sister with you too and help her with her work while you are up there. When you are done, you can go play outside.” 

“Yes, Daddy,” she said, as she sulked upstairs while she pulled her little sister by the hand who looked just like Kaidan, almond-shaped eyes and all except they were blue, like Runa’s. 

“There’s a good lass.” 

There was suddenly a loud squeal as Runa saw their three-year-old son remove all of his clothes and start running through the house laughing. Runa burst out with laughter, watching Kaidan try to catch the little naked toddler with that flower crown on his head. The whole scene was silly to watch. That boy always seemed just out of reach when he was running. He was fast and giggling at Daddy, who couldn’t catch him. 

Their son was fast like Runa. He also looked like his dad with his almond-shaped eyes, but instead of them being red, they were blue like hers, and his hair was thick and wavy. He was finally cornered, and Daddy picked him up, throwing him in the air to be caught several times again, giggling loudly. He loved it when Daddy threw him in the air. Then he quickly got the boy dressed again. 

Alva was laughing at the whole scene. She was so thrilled with Runa’s children. It made her so happy to see little ones running around that Alva could spoil since she had no grandchildren of her own. She came to visit to help Runa give birth to their fourth child, as she did her previous children. 

Watching Kaidan with their children always made Runa’s heart burst. She always knew he would be a good father, even if he didn’t believe it himself. But at least he knows now. Parenthood terrified him with their first daughter, and he struggled for a while until he got the hang of things with Runa’s help. Now he was the one closest to their eldest. 

They had lived a very simple life after Alduin. Before, life was just too complicated, dangerous, and traumatic. Runa and Kaidan were tired of it and just wanted to raise their family in peace. In the beginning, leaders would constantly approach Runa to try to overthrow Ulfric Stormcloak, who had won the Civil War. Having the Dragonborn, and a noblewoman, rule with her Dragonguard at her side was appealing for most of the leaders. But Runa and Kaidan refused. All they wanted was quiet and a family. Besides, Skyrim had seen enough war.

********* 

That night they wanted to make love one more time before the baby came knowing it would be a while before they had the chance. He was kissing and licking her between her legs under the covers, almost ready to orgasm when they heard, “Mommy?” 

Runa could feel Kaidan sigh heavily between her legs. Oh well, so much for that. Their son crawled into their bed and quickly fell asleep between them. Kaidan reached for the boy to pull him in close to snuggle and kissed his head. Both of them smiled, trying not to laugh; oh well. Maybe tomorrow night. 

“Kai,” she whispered. “Our little one is bouncing around so much. I know it’s another boy.” He placed his hand on her stomach, feeling their child move around so much, wondering how the child managed it in such a tight space. He had a massive smile on his face feeling the baby kick about. Even after three children, it never ceased to amaze him. 

Later that night, Kaidan suddenly woke up to tapping on his shoulder, “Kai...” 

“Hmmm, what...” 

“It’s time.” 

“Time for what?” he asked groggily. 

“The baby. It’s coming now,” she said as she started to pant and moaned in sudden pain when a contraction hit. 

He quickly scrambled out of bed, woke up Rayya to take their son, and he grabbed a bunch of rags and blankets, having it all now memorized. Then he woke up Alva for her help in delivering the baby. 

After the third one, he finally learned not to panic as it didn’t help her at all. The first time he was in such a panic, Runa had to kick him out of the room. He had horrible nightmares before their daughter was born from their previous loss, as well. But now he stayed calm and did whatever she needed. When he was done lying several blankets under her, he asked her what else she needed. 

“Kai, sit me up and sit behind me, please. Just hold me. I want to feel you close; it helps.” 

Kaidan climbed behind Runa and let her rest against his chest as she endured the pain and braced for another contraction. 

Rayya took their son upstairs and watched over the children while they slept, knowing they wouldn’t be asleep for long with the screams. Alva was there sitting in their room, reading a book waiting for Runa to be ready. 

After a couple of hours of extreme pain during contractions, the baby was finally ready to be pushed out. Kaidan pulled both of her thighs back as she pushed out their latest family member. He would kiss her head and making soothing noises to help ease her. During each push, she would scream and cry that she couldn’t do it. She always forgot how painful it was, but Kaidan was there to soothe her. After the fourth child, it didn’t take nearly as long as the first three. 

Finally, after a few more pushes and a loud scream, their child was born. She rested her head against Kaidan, breathing heavily and sweat pouring down her face. 

“You did so well, love. You are so strong,” he said soothingly, holding her hands; kissing them. 

“It’s a boy!” Alva started excitedly. 

He was gently wrapped and handed off to mom and dad. Runa held their child, who suckled at her breast. They saw he had the red irises like his father. She happily wept at their fourth child. 

Kaidan rested his chin on her shoulder, lightly touching his son’s thick black wet hair, watching him feed on his mother in awe. He was always in awe after every birth. 

“I think it’s time, Kai,” she said quietly from exhaustion, leaning back on him. 

“Time for what, love?” 

“Our family has really grown, and I love it here, but we are running out of room. Maybe it’s time to go back to Ivarstead Manor.” 

He moved her wet hair off her neck and kissed it. “Anything you want, love. Anything you want...” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again, lovely readers!! 😍


End file.
